How can I respectfully explain to men how annoying it can be to be a female bisexual?

Question

So, as the title suggests, I'm a g*y-leaning female bisexual. As such, I have to deal with a lot of imagery, comments, and portrayals that paint my sexuality as a male fetish, rather than something autonomous in its own right. This is extremely irritating to me, I think because I feel that women have been given so little space to authentically express their desires, and female/female space is one place where that shouldn't be an issue. I'm hoping some of you understand what I mean.

Of course, I don't have a problem at all with men being attracted to the idea of two women together, or mff threesomes, or anything of the sort-- but I -hate- the idea of a man, say, witnessing me and a girl together, and men tend to get defensive when I tell them this. I don't want to be all "oh, you're a horrible person for being sexually attracted to this," but I do want to explain why it can be so annoying if they're not respectful. Any ideas?

Answer 1

You could just tell him tht he's being icky and creepy.  That usually embarasses them enough to skedaddle especially if you say it loud enough for others to hear.  I don't mean shout it but say it in a clear firm voice and look him straight in the eye.  Don't ask if he has a problem just act like you assume he does.  Work an 'ew!' in there and turn away.  

It is the number one male fantasy and they will almost always act inappropriately around it.  Unfortunate fact of life and I think they can't help it.

Answer 2

Try to put it in terms they can relate to. I can't think of good examples right this second-- maybe, ask if they would like it if you were to show up on their honeymoon with a bag of popcorn and witness as they made love to their newly-wedded wife, or something?

Answer 3

These guys you're talking about sound like disturbed creeps. I hope you don't see all men as being that way. I don't like to watch any two people go at it.

Answer 4

get over it

Answer 5

why do you even tell anyone? I keep my personal business to myself and to YA...  

Well you say that you are g*y/bisexual... either you are g*y or bisexual. If you don't sleep with men, then you are just g*y. I am bi, but that's no ones business that knows me.... only my husband knows.

Answer 6

Just don't go to those kinds of places, there are bars and clubs for sound people and there are bars and clubs for muppets. (avoid the muppets).

Answer 7

You don't need to say it right away. Wait until you get to know the person. Some guys are respectful, while others make silly assumptions.

I don't like it when they assume that I'm willing to make out with my female friends. I look at my friends as friends..not people I make out with.