How can I say no to unsafe gifts and not offend?

Question

My daughter is almost three and a older lady at church is very fond of her. She brings her presents from home almost every other week, but about half of the time, they are not age appropriate. She gave her a ballarina doll, which my daughter loved. It was cute, but the earings turned out to be 3 inch pins stuck in the ears that my daughter pulled out (luckily while sitting right next to me) Other gifts have included, a very breakable "toy" tea set and a porcelin doll. I don't want to be rude, but I wish she would stop, or find something more age apropriate. It is hard. What is the best approach?

Answer 1

Tell the woman thank you, but that you feel you'll have to put them up until she is older and able to handle such toys more responsibly.  You have to realize that in her day, it was comon for a girl your daughter's age to get those kind of toys.

And do so - by the time she is 6, if you have taught her to treat her toys nicely and gently, she should be ready for both the tea set and porcelain doll.

I'm sure this lady didn't know about the pin earrings om the ballerina doll.

Answer 2

I wouldn't want to hurt this lady's feelings, so, instead of discussing safety issues, I'd say something like, "A porcelain tea set, what a lovely and thoughtful gift!  This is so delicate and beautiful that I wouldn't want her to accidentally break it, so I'm going to display the pieces in our china cabinet until she's a little older.  Thank you so much for thinking of little Jezabel!"  That should subtley convey the message that if she wants to give a gift that your child can play with immediately, it should be non-breakable.

Answer 3

Well, I'm aware that you want to know how to not sound rude, but a suggestion would be to place those toys in a safe spot until your child matures... I'm sure they're good toys too!

In order to sound polite, just tell the lady the truth.. I mean (wow I know some people are blunt, so okay)...

Tell her that you are concerned about your child and her safety when it comes to the toys that she receives as a gift.. You can also mention that you are grateful for the gift, but after seeing that it could harm your daughter (she's obviously curious child) it would be great to consider safer toys... If you want to, you can mention the ballerina incident.

Answer 4

I'm sure that she doesn't realize how unsafe these things are for your daughter and it's very sweet how she's gone out of her way to give her things! However, your child's safety should always come first. Next time you see her at church, thank her for the gifts but slightly hint towards their unsafeness. ("Thank you so much for the gorgeous tea set, my daughter absolutely loved looking at it. I know she'll love it when she's mature enough to understand its delicateness and will know how to play gently.")

Answer 5

Tell the woman that you really appreciate her thoughtfulness but that your daughter has plenty of toys such that you would prefer she gives the toys to a child who is not as well off such as the abused spouse shelters where often women and children run away without anything to include clothing and toys for the little ones.

Answer 6

Thank the nice church lady and put the gifts aside until your daughter is old enough to use them safely; and politely explain this to your thoughtful church lady.

Answer 7

Accept the gifts with a smile and put the breakables away until your daughter is old enough to safely enjoy them. Otherwise you can tell the nice church lady that while you appreciate the gifts for your little girl you don't want her to expect gifts all the time and ask that she reserve them for birthdays or other special occasions. At least this way you'll have fewer gifts to hide away.

Answer 8

Gift giving is kind of a crock anyway.  Usually it is something that you don't want and can't use and it ends up cluttering up your life.   And there is always the expectation to reciprocate in some way.  

I would gently tell the woman that you appreciate the gifts, but that you wish they were a bit more age appropriate, and say that you are afraid the child will hurt herself when she breaks the toy tea set or sticks herself with the pins.   Hope that she takes the hint, or else you will have to be blunt about it.

Answer 9

never say no to gifts

keep them tell she's older, put them on a shelf so the women would see it but you daughter wont be able to touch them

Answer 10

soulja<3 is whacked on crack!

Answer 11

accept it and give it to her when shes a little older, or just be like, you know she can break those easily id hate to see that happen with a gift she likes a lot...could you give her more approproate toys, i like the offer, and its sweet, i just want to make sure she doesnt break it or hurt herself, you can give her stuff like that when shes a little older, and the stuff you already gave her we will keep for her but now just isnt the right age

thats probly the nicest you can say it, although itd be kind hard any way to say it

Answer 12

Accept the nice lady's gifts, but hold on to them until your daughter is the right age for the gifts. Not accepting gifts from someone willing to give them is actually quite rude. If the lady asks how your dauther is enjoying her (for example) tea set, politely explain that you haven't opened it yet because you're afraid your little one may break it. Don't worry, she'll grow into the toys!

Answer 13

You don't have to tell her, just keep the inappropriate toys aside and tell your daughter she can have them when she's older.