How can I solve this problem?? Ok i'm 20 i live at home with my mom, sister, and step-dad..

Question

Ok i'm 20 i live at home with my mom, sister, and step-dad.. Ok now I have 2 jobs and i go to college.. And my step-dad just got fired....a couple of weeks ago so he doesnt do anything around the house like taking out da trash, emptying his plate when he is done eating. he doesnt do anything... All he does is sits around the house and he curses my mom out like a dog..the least lil thing she sayz to him he curses her out like f**K u, u ***** or s**t....Muther fu**** and so on. I dont say anything bc i know I should be disrespectful...So wht should I do???

Answer 1

There's 3 of you - your mom, sister and you.  And only one ignorant man - your stepdad.  The 3 of you need to have a united front and confront the stepdad and tell him that none of you will allow him to continue to disrespect any of you ever again.  If he doesn't agree, then he needs to be kicked out of the house.  If none of this works, or if you don't get the cooperation you need, then you yourself need to leave that home.  You're 20 years old and going to college.  Maybe you can room with someone.  I'd at least check into that in case the stepdad is one of the lazy bums who won't even get up off his butt to leave.  Be strong and don't let him push you, or any of you ladies, around anymore.

Answer 2

ask your mom

why do you let that guy talk to you like that?

try talking to your mom.

Answer 3

As long as your mother is willing to put up with his disrespect, laziness, foul language, depression, etc., there's not a thing you can do.  Understand that for a man, his whole identity is tied into his job.  When he loses a job, he loses a part of who he is.  It's quite normal for men to be depressed and angry for a good while after getting laid off or fired.

You can't change him, but you can change how you treat him and how you react to him.  Be polite to him.  Be gracious.  Don't be rude back to him.  And for goodness sake, DON'T complain about him.  All you'll do is set him off again, and your mom already knows his behavior is affecting the whole family.

But draw the line at hitting, slapping, or any other physical violence, okay?  If you see that happen, you get to call the police.

If nothing is changing in another couple of weeks, it's time for you and your siblings to get your mom out of the house for a long, serious talk about what has to happen next.  Get your pastor in on this talk, or a sibling of your mom's, just someone she looks up to and respects.  

Good luck.