How can I start being myself?

Question

I'm 14 and for a long time, I have been a people pleaser. Whatever they wanted from me, they got. Now no one really knows the true me. I don't know what to do. I don't want my family to feel like that I have lied to them about myself anymore than they have to. I want to say what I think and I'm tired of just nodding my head. What do i do?

Answer 1

be your self who cares about other people i'm a people pleaser too but i don't let people walk all over me. Be nice but be assertive!  

Answer 2

stop caring what everyone thinks. Live your life for YOU

Answer 3

You stop giving a d**n.  

Answer 4

You started being yourself when you were born. You cannot ever be anyone BUT yourself. You can't be someone different. You are who you are. There is no "true self" or "real self" inside you, waiting to come out. You are the real you at all times, in all places, with whatever people, and in any circumstances. You can't help but be you.

From birth on you started creating your personality, your "self." Much of this happened in your mind, as you created mental images of yourself, thoughts and therefore sentences to describe you to yourself, and so on. From then on, the more you became "you," the more your mind resisted (and will resist) any attempt you may make to "change" yyour Self. Your mind just won't let you become someone you are not.

I know this sounds confusing, but it's the truth about you and every human being ever on this planet. You can't avoid being you, but you CAN work to become the best "You" you can be!

Perhaps that's what you mean when you say, "How can I start being myself?" You may mean you want to become a BETTER you.

Oh yes, one more thing. On the wall of your mind (where you have various pictures of you and other people) there hangs one picture of you as you could be, your "ideal self." This is not your "real" or "true" Self, but who you could be if you were perfect. It's not someone you can be, but someone you can always strive to become!

By the way, this ia all based on Adlerian Psychology, the most important and influential psychological school of the past 100+ years...

Best wishes...-- Dr. Bob, Adlerian Psychologist

Answer 5

Just put your foot down.  You dont have to be mean about it just say nah I dont want to but thanks.  Thats it.  I like to make people happy as well, but ive never had a problem putting my foot down when its needed or if I just dont feel like it.  Just try to express yourself slowely so you dont have to really show your family right then and there.  They wont even notice.  But then again you werent really lying to them.. you just didnt know the real you yet.  Thats all.  Good luck.  Love and Light.

Answer 6

You can't be yourself until you know who that is.

In order to really start being yourself, dig deep and find out who you REALLY are. Try to clear your mind of who you think you "should" be. Then ask yourself some questions. What are you passionate about? What do you hate? What are you afraid of? What do you think about when you're alone? What are things you would never do?

OH, and don't listen to other people. They don't have a clue either.