How can I stay significant to my friends?

Question

I moved to a different country at the start of this year, leaving all of my friends and most of the people I knew behind. I used to call some of my friends the first 2 months or so and we'd talk fine, but by the 3rd month away, when I called my buddies, I could detect we were starting to drift apart. I couldn't really connect with them, and I'm sure they couldn't really connect with me, and this was kinda painful given that these were my closest buddies, so I basically stopped calling and texting as a way to try and let go and move on. I've been thinking recently, and I really miss my friends, but I am afraid to reach out to them after so many months of no communication in case they brush me off, or I'm afraid we'll have really awkward conversations. If I try to reconnect with them, how can I stay significant to my friends? Or should I just let them go, try to forget about them and move on with my life?

Answer 1

I think you should do two things.

1)  If you were close to them and they were close to you try and reach out by communicating.  If they brush you off then perhaps you were not as close as you thought they were.  It will be awkward but this is the reality you must face.  If you don't it will only niggle you but be prepared for disappointment.

If you became really strong friends and strong bonds were established with any of them for whatever reason then distance should not break those bonds.  Again your perception of how strong those bonds are may be different from theirs.  

2) By moving to a different country you have to that extent moved on with your life unless you had no choice but to move, perhaps with your family.  You should try and make a new circle of friends without at the same forgetting those you have left behind.  Accept the fact that some of those left behind will have forgotten you.  

Bear in mind that we make friends who meet our many and various needs whilst we are in immediate contact with them and to that extent they are like ships in the night which come and go when distance separates them.  

Answer 2

you should have a lot to talk about... like good stories and stuff. itll be worth it though if you miss them you should go visit them for like a couple weeks and see how things are