How can I stop being so negative about things and move things forward a bit?

Question

I met this guy about 2 months ago. We went on our first date last week and hung out most of the day yesterday after I got out of class. And I even met his mom and brother. I like him a lot (It's my first relationship...yeah yeah I'm 18 too, but oh well I'm happy) and he seems to like me too. But I'm so negative about everything. Like I'm not the skinnest person in the world and I'm definately not the prettiest, so I always, always doubt his feelings for me...of course I don't show it or tell him that cause I don't want to lose him. The simpliest way to put it is the question "why me?" always runs thru my mind. It's kinda bad to think that way isn't it? And I still don't know the answer. He hasn't tried to hold my hand or kiss me...I could tell he wanted to yesterday cause he was really nervous. Partially it's my fault cause I always have something in my hands or my hands in my pocket and I don't stand too close to him cause I think I'm kinda scard to. Can I get some advice please?

Answer 1

Wanting to be in a relationship is a natural and very strong desire for most of us.  In order to really enjoy a relationship and ensure that it is healthy and strong we really have to enjoy ourselves and be healthy and strong emotionally.  It sounds to me like you could use some confidence boosting and you can do this by becoming involved in things that you're really interested in and you should also try some new things that involve fitness and physical strength.  By participating in activities that help you to make personal improvements you will start to experience a natural self confidence because you will be working hard, taking something serious and recieving the benefits of your accomplishments and efforts.  Then, when you are with a boy you like it will be easier and feel more natural to just enjoy being his friend, and being with him.  

All those things I said up there are things that girls often look to get from the relationships we're in.  We seek validation and acceptance and all of that from guys who really just want to have a good time.  And so it's a hopeless endeavor.  The best thing you can do is try to get all that stuff you need and then have fun with your friends and you won't worry about whether or not they like you or how long they will like you.  You'll have so much else going on in your life you won't care about being important to others so much.

Answer 2

Look around you.  Do you not somethimes see beautiful girls with not so good looking guys and vice versa?  Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.  You may not be the prettiest or the sexiest or the skinniest or even the funniest or the most intelligent but you are you.  You are one of a kind.   There is no one else exactly like you and it sounds like this guy thinks that is pretty good.  I will tell you one thing.  I wouldn't want to be with someone who has no belief in themselves or would need me to constantly build them up.  We are all flawed but we also all have special gifts, talents etc.  Concentrate on yours and learn to love yourself.  All the best.

Answer 3

Okay first of all, try not to be negative by thinking about the positive things. Okay you aren't the skinniest girl but at least you aren't sickly thin or maybe your guys not into chicks that are skinny.

Or that fact that you think you aren't the prettiest girl but you re not hideous.

The holding hands thing too, if you know he wants to hold your hand but your hands are always full, try to free your hands up a bit, or simply grab his hand.

You and be subtle about it it your shy, like if your and your guy go to a movie, hold hands in the dark, you aren't showing off your love and it's still a sweet way to express the way you feel about him without making it public and eating his face ha ha.

  

Answer 4

if you want to stop being neagevtev try not to think about it