How can I stop being so nervous in social situations?

Question

When I say and do stupid things around people (which happens frequently, by the way) I obsess about it for days. This makes me even more nervous in social situations, which makes me more awkward. This anxiety affects both my personal life and my job performance. I can't stop thinking that everyone hates me, or at the very least is disgusted by me. How do I break the cycle?

Answer 1

I'm sorry I haven't felt that way in a long time. when I did, it wasn't for long. but I know what you are talking about. how did I stop feeling that way? I stopped caring what other people thought. I mean, I bathe and wear normal clothes, but as far as my actions and what I say and my opinions? nobody can tell you your opinion isn't worth as much as theirs.

also you might try... not attempting to be cool or say something all the time. sometimes it's cooler to be silent and watch everyone else.

chances are someone else will do or say something stupid or silly, then you will be the one who always learns from others actions.

Answer 2

Get to know some people on a more personal level and develop there's things called friends and having a few at work can really relieve stress.

Saying or doing something stupid can be played off as funny if you know most-all of the people around and they laugh.  

Answer 3

I had this same problem. First, you have to retrain your mind to stop obsessing over small (and even big) mistakes. Every time you realize that you're thinking about it, think about something else. Changing your physical position (rolling over in bed, or standing up), can help.

Try to remember positive things about your social interactions. Remember when you really had the right thing to say, or you had a good conversation with someone.

Also, try to see yourself as if you were someone else. If someone else had said what you said, would you have thought they were stupid? Of course not! And no one else thinks that about you.

While you're talking to someone, don't worry about what your saying. Just say it. It's only at an extreme that you can go wrong with what you say, and it's very likely that you'll never come close to those extremes (like being offensive). "Think before you speak" actually isn't very good advice. Just say what comes to mind.

Answer 4

Most  persons  have  some  self conscious at  social  events.  Practice  correct  manners  whenever you can. Don"t  worry so  much.  As  for  saying  stupid  things just  slow your  thoughts  down  and  be  sure of what your  saying.  If its  a  subject your  not familiar  with then be quite and  just  smile  nicely till a  subject or  question  comes your  way.  If you can"t  answer, just  say " I  really cant  say at  this  time"   Always  compliment  the hostess for their  meal. decorations,  whatever  but  don't  go over board.  

Answer 5

I have like the same exact problem. glad to know i'm not the only 1.

sorry i couldn't help though...

Answer 6

I too have the same problem.  Have you looked into social phobias?  Google it and read up on it.  

Answer 7

dont know

Answer 8

Find some great friends that you can entireley be yourself around, then it wont be long before you are being confident and happy (and a little bit crazy) around everyone.  

Answer 9

I know this does not sound like the best answer but go to a party with some friends and drink. It helped me when I was nervous around people back in the day. You do something stupid and you can blame it on the fact you are drinking. You also have something in your hand so you don't feel uncomfortable. Drinking really relaxes you and gets you to come out of your shell. Be careful not to get smashed drunk. Be a social drinker. Always having a designated driver.