How can I stop disliking my own child?

Question

She is such a little bi---. It's not that she misbehaves, or does bad stuff really, it's just that she is such a sullen little ungrateful selfish bi---. She is so unpleasant to be around, and she's only 12. How can I deal with this???

Answer 1

The first step is to stop identifying her as a ***** and start thinking of her as a child. She's ungrateful? What should she be grateful for? You pay for her food and her home and her clothes, but since you dislike her, it's only because society expects it of you, right?

She can definitely sense your lack of unconditional support.

Look at her physical form and see the beauty in it. Look at her psyche and see where she differs from what you expect. Think it over.

Answer 2

you are bad parent

Answer 3

She's 12. If she wasn't that way I'd be concerned.  

Answer 4

Well, understand that she's just 12 years old.

I bet when you were 12 you were just like her.

All young kids are like that, because they don't understand. But when they grow up, most of them do learn.

Or you can try teaching her to not be selfish now.

Answer 5

Hey..that ain't nice..I'm starting to think you're a *****. =O

Answer 6

your childs behavior is like your mirror self. Your behavior is is what only she see's during her developmental years.

If you like yourself, you'll probably like her too

Answer 7

You have to put yourself in her shoes.  The adolescent years have to be some of the most painful and complicated years of someone's life - I'm sure that they were difficult for you as well which is probably why you harbor some negative feelings as well.  The secret with this age is to be there but not there.  It takes a huge amount of discipline on the parents' part to do this.  The thing to remember is to make sure that she feels loved and safe at home.

While she is discovering herself, she also needs to understands the rules of the home and that is that she needs to respect you and follow a list of ten guidelines... You and your daugther can decide what these are...  ie cleaning up after herself, etc.

Answer 8

Get some parenting skills. Maybe she senses the lack of love and is trying to get some attention. A parent should NEVER hate a child.

Answer 9

you don't dislike like your child you just hate her ways    NOW WITH ALL DO RESPECT  YOU ARE THE MOTHER SHE IS THE CHILD  , YOU DONT HAVE TO SIT AND TALK TO HER,,,, ONE ON ONE WITH NO ONE ELSE AROUND AND TELL HER ABOUT HER WAYS  AND THEY NEED BE BE CHANGE

Answer 10

The issue is a need for forgiveness..for yourself for not loving her and for her, for not being who you think she should be. Spend time with it. We are all doing the best we can with what knowledge we have.

Answer 11

wow. I'm so glad when I went through the "sullen ungateful selfish *****" phase my mom stuck by me. We are best friends to this day.

Grow up.

Maybe she's trying to reach out to you, just doesn't know how. You're making it worse by not wanting to be around her. Who knows what kid of things you say to her. Try to be loving, and KEEP being loving (although firm). She'll thank you in the long run.

Answer 12

She is only a child -   how she must be hurting - why do you dislike her so much?

Do you think she asked to be  born - is she too much like yourself and you do not have good self-esteem?

These are questions you should discuss with an experienced counsellor.

Run - don't walk to a psychologist today.  Life is too short for that kind of an attitude, I think.

Imagine how many people want to have a child and they can't?

Answer 13

You are courageous enough to want to deal with the issue.  Use your courage and "turn" it into patience and use it all on your daughter, the precious one.  You are the mother and the adult who should be able to behave and manage better than a 12 year old.  Good luck.  

Answer 14

Perhaps your feelings are justified.  Remember you can love your daughter, but not like the way she acts.  How can you deal with it?  Work with her to change her behavior, or, wait until she gets older.  

Answer 15

well first off be ******* grateful your kid doesn't have a terrible affliction that plagues your precious life even more

when you have a child you take on a responsibility to the human being to be more intelligent than a rock

see how your actions and reactions shape and mold this little human.. because the things she does and knows is because of you

she is a b*tch because you made her this way, you basically let her act the way she does and im sure at some points you set an example for her

all in all think about how you treat the child you created