How can I stop feeling so insecure when i see beautiful women?

Question

Why is it that we as women are constantly comparing ourselfs to 1 another? I wish i could stop because its really taking a toll on my self esttem , but i just dont know how.... I work in a night club as a bartender and 1 night in march this tall blonde woman with long hair and a big butt was there and all the men were litterly staring at her , even my boyfriend! till this day i think that he thinks about her.. i know that im not an ugly woman but how can i stop comparing myself? I seriously think that im depressed please help.....

Answer 1

Don't worry, Beautiful women make men feel insecure too.

In a way, imperfection is a gift, because of this.

plus; do you have any idea how long it would have taken her to get to that state of beauty?

It's certainly not the kind of thing you would do simply for a night out, i always find it odd when i see women who have blatantly gone over-the-top.

I also find it irritating when i turn around and see all my friends staring at her like dogs looking at a peice of meat.

Answer 2

You can stop feeling insecure when you see other women by tricking your mind.  Look for any imperfection of the other women, both visible (crooked teeth, thin lips) or invisible (bad breath, body odor, ugly v****a). By doing this exercise, you will feel better, begin to smile or even laugh--and your attitude will change from negative to positive.  

Answer 3

I think that you just need a little self esteem boost. My friend once told me this, and maybe it could help you, hopefully it will. She said that life is short, so just think the best of yourself. Why think she's prettier than you, or just think your okay. Think that you are the prettiest. If you know your not an ugly women, then your to a good start; so think that your gorgeous. And when you start thinking your boyfriend is thinking of the other women, just think that your gorgeous, that you have a great personality, that you are an amazing person. Either that or maybe your boyfriend isn't worth it. Life is too short to be worrying about yourself not being pretty enough, or not good enough for someone. I hope this can help you, even the slightest bit like it helped for me. Good luck =)

Also, just make sure you don't in over your head, like I will tell myself I'm the prettiest, but I will remind myself that it's just looks, I didn't discover a cure or anything. =)  

Answer 4

It's easy to be insecure when you see a beautiful woman. But the fact of the matter is, you are always going to be you. I'm a firm believer in learning to accept and love every part of yourself. If you don't like your butt, your teeth, your hair, whatever--it's always going to be a part of you, and you can never change it. The fact of the matter is, your boyfriend IS going to find other women attractive, just as you probably find men other than your boyfriend attractive as well. But the fact of the matter is, he chose you and he likes you for who you are. You can't control his thinking and make him stop thinking about other women. You might want to turn it on yourself--do you ever think about an attractive person you saw in passing in March? Probably not! And even if you did, it doesn't mean you think your boyfriend is any less attractive. No one is perfect, except from afar or when you don't know them well enough. You have to learn to love yourself because despite what you may not like about yourself, it is who you are, and that is okay.  

Answer 5

I can relate to you so so so much!! Im like this all the time, always putting my self down against other women. And I cannot stannnnd it when my partner looks at them, it makes me ill and depressed. I dont know how to get over it genereally, but as far as your boyfriend goes...ask him why he looked when hes with you and tell him it hurts you. I did that and my partner reassured me that im beautiful and that he only looked at girls like that because they were tarty and he wasnt looking in any way that meant he thought they were attractive. Good luck.

Answer 6

Hon, it's a woman's nature to compare themselves to others. And yes, I know it sucks. But you know what it does by taking a toll on you? Tear your self esteem.

I used to do that so much that literally going out would make me feel bad about myself. I'd see a slim girl with jet black hair and dark green eyes and it made me feel like c**p, to put it blunt. What I didn't notice was that here I was, dark brown hair, big hazel eyes, and 6'0''. The thing about human nature is that we tend to look for the best in others...and pick out the "worst" in ourselves.

Think about it: Yeah, okay, you saw a tall blond woman with a big butt. Big deal. Do you think there's nothing about her own features that she hates? Maybe you didn't take the time to notice that you have the twinkle in your eye that makes you sparkle. Or a kickass personality. I kid you not, one of the two things above I can assure you she lacks.

Start by looking in front of a mirror. Distinguish ten things you physically love about yourself. And other ten about your character. Tell yourself you're worth it every single day. Turn a blind eye toward people that tell you that something about you isn't perfect.

Confidence is what will bring you to happiness with yourself, which means no comparison with other chicks, because you dig yourself (haha, that sounded corny ;-D). As for the thought about your boyfriend...well, lack of confidence can make us imagine things that don't exist :/

If you're worried about it, confront him.

Hon, you're not depressed. You're a normal woman, who just needs to recognize her self worth. Best!

Answer 7

its natural. guys do it to other guys, women amongst women, even animals do it. its normal but try not to let it get to you. chances are they are looking at you feel insecure from you being gorgeous

Answer 8

i think ,this is the mistake of your boyfriend ,because if he loved you really ,he should not look even a simple look to any other female whatever her beaty is ,,,so , u will satisfied by your level of beauty because it is enough to your own man ,........this my own idea,,if i find a girl that she is loving me only ,and not caring about the others ,also i will never look to any other female  

Answer 9

concerning your boyfriend- dont worry!!! everyone worries about this, even me and my boyfriend is like the least likely person to run off with someone else cos he knows how much it hurts! we all can find other people attractive, but like my boyfriend says, hes with me because its me he loves, not some random girl that just looks good!

i'm not much of a girly girl and sometimes wonder whether he wishes i was, but then i think, if he didwant a girly girl, he wouldnt have gone with me in the first place =) he also says the same to me though "oh you like that guy dont you. oh you deserve much better than me, blah blah blah" and i know full well that i dont look at other guys as potential partners, so maybe he doesnt look at other girls as potential partners, either =)

hope you can make sense of that haha

x

ps- i've just seem that Jardon wrote above me and i sadly disagree. Feeling pretty by making someone else look ugly is not the way to do it. everyones beautiful. dont put others down just to make yourself feel better, imagine being the other person that someone is slagging off to make themselves feel better... not nice? =)