How can I stop letting people get to me?

Question

I lived a very bad life style for a long time. At 13, I started using drugs, drinking, having s*x and partying non-stop. This lifestyle went on up until I was 20. At 20, I lost everything, I lost my car, my job, my Uncle that died from his drug addiction, I had no money, I was being sued and almost all of my "friends" stopped talking to me. I decided to turn my life around by not using drugs, not partying all of the time and not hooking up with random guys and praying to god for his help. I'm now 23 and while I'm still struggling money wise my life is A LOT different now. My brother and I decided to start running our own business and I hangout with only a couple of people that are on the same path as me. The thing that bothers me, is whenever I run into someone I used to hangout with or someone that I haven't seen in awhile I feel like they still judge me on the old me and it hurts. A perfect example is, when I went to this club last weekend my friends ex boyfriend came right up to me and asked me if I was still a "hoe" because he knows some guys that would pay me to have s*x with them. I didn't even respond and I ended up leaving the club and crying. Everyone always tells me don't let it get to me but how can I not? When someone says something so hurtful I don't know what else to do.

Answer 1

Of course something like that will hurt, but just think, you're not that person any more.  You did the right thing not to respond.  Perhaps that person is jealous that you have changed.  It sounds as if it is him who has the problem.  

Sit down and write down all the positive things that you have done.  Think about them and make yourself feel good.  Then think about people who you used to hang out with.  If they haven't changed like you, they are probably losers.  Instead of feeling bad about yourself when they come up to you, think about the problems that they must have and feel sorry for them.  Practise walking away and thinking about this instead of feeling bad about yourself.  If they do come up, ignore them, but whatever you do, hold your head up and look confident.  It's hard to taunt a confident person and they'll get sick of it.

Answer 2

It's understandable that you feel hurt because you've spent all this time trying to make yourself better and it feels as if no one is recognizing your efforts, am I right?? All I can say is, when someone tells you something like that, tell yourself that THEY don't know the person you are now, and if they don't see it, why should you even socialize with them? They are the ones that are missing out on the new person you've become. They don't know you like you know yourself, and all you have to work on right now is telling yourself that you are worth this change that you made for yourself. Bring up your confidence and avoid hanging out at the clubs for a while. They have nothing to talk about if they don't even see you there. :) Once you go back, after a while, they'll see how you don't need all those things you used to have. It is hurtful, but, you have to deal with it for a while. I think it's still too soon to expect them to think of you any differently. Hang around with people that will make you feel better so you won't even have to hear those things. :)

Answer 3

Jesus will take your hand and help you through all difficult times.

Our old lives will return until we fully realize we are God's children, not the ego's.

Well done your changes so far!!

Answer 4

Just grow a think skin and learn how to ignore or to avoid such annoying....

Answer 5

its sounds simple but it is true you have to let go of the past understand you are not that person anymore the comments of other are of no concern they are the ones living in the past you must move forward or you will always be a slave to your past.  

Answer 6

Because it just doesn't mater what people say or think. When you finally realize that there are so many more things in life that are much more important you will be able to bypass such trivial situations.

I became disabled 22 years ago and my life changed considerably and was able to look at life from a new perspective. Such things as what people think, say and feel weren't as important as being alive and thankful for what I have. It's more important how you feel, your loved ones and how they feel. Basically what I am saying that is I saw what truly should matter in my life and its no different for you.

You sound like you have done so much to straighten your life out but it seems like you need a little confidence at the same time still. Our learning never stops and we should welcome new ideas and ways of thinking when possible. Laughing at idiots whose lives are so sad that they need to insult us isn't that hard. " Hey, thanks for the compliment and nope, I am a reformed Ho now." . Either that or just ignore it and tell yourself that it doesn't matter and remind yourself what does. It does work but you need confidence in yourself. There is no reason why you can't find this confidence inside you.

So glad that you have worked so hard to better yourself in character. Sounds like your pretty smart by making better choices towards your future.

I wish you luck.