How can I stop my 9 yr old from having a complete hysterical meltdown every day when I drop him off at school?

Question

Pretty much every day for the last 6 months when I take my son to school he starts crying. I have trouble getting him out of the car. I have tried everything, from being mean and telling him to "go" (which makes me feel like the worst mom ever) to walking him to class. Nothing makes it any better. Alot of school mornings he even wakes up crying. This is starting to really wear me down and dread mornings. I am the only one home in the morning to get him up and out, so switching parents isn't an option. I'm at the end of my rope!!! HELP!!!

Answer 1

Have you taken the time to walk to the Principal's office and try to find out what is happening with your child?....Bullying? Any "inappropriateness" at all?...Something had to have  happened and it is YOUR DUTY to find out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are the only one in a position to get to the bottom of it.....do something!

Take the time to speak to your child, please! Something changed!   What was it?????

Answer 2

have you tried talking to him to find out why he feels this way,i would hate to think he is being bullied.he may be frightened of going to school because of that,as he has only been that why for the last six months,was he ok before that??sound to me like theres more to it.speak to him,tell him its ok and that he can tell you,theres always a reason as to why a child would do that and u need to find out why.hope you work it out for his sake.im suprised your didnt think of this sooner.talk to him and speak with his teacher.i feel for him.

Answer 3

ask him why he doesn't want to go, we had this problem with my nephew, we told one of the teachers and he felt better that the teacher would meet him outside. Since then he goes alone and has no problems

Answer 4

Have you actually DONE anything about the situation?

Have you talked to his teacher?  His principal?  Is he being bullied?

There is a BIG problem when your child wakes up crying on school days.  Your responsibility as a parent goes a lot farther than "getting him out of the car".

If there is actually nobody bothering him, then maybe he has social anxiety.  Either way, it sounds like you need to spend a little time at the school figuring things out and he needs a trip to see his doctor.

Answer 5

I suggest that you take a day off work and/or get a babysitter for the other children and take him to school, walk him to his classroom and visit the room for one day.  Then walk him to his class for a few days and speak with his teacher each morning in a pleasant and genial manner [not necessarily about this problem].

Ask HIM why prior to getting in the car.

Is he having difficulty with any of the subjects?

What has he been watching on TV [limit it]?

Read to him every night [possibly ONE chapter {no more, no less} of a classic, such as Dickens or Mark Twain each night.]

Answer 6

Have you spoken with the teacher as to why your son is acting like this? He maybe having problems with the teacher or another student. Have you talked to your son as to why he doesn't want to go to school? At that age it means there is a problem maybe someone is hurting him.

Answer 7

try the bus

Answer 8

He is being picked on at school, that is why kids don't want to go, either he has a mean teacher or some kid on the playground is really harassing him bad.  Your home in the mornings? good..

get into the office ask for a tag, walk your kid to the classroom and tell the teacher your sitting in this morning to find out why your son is so traumatized about going to this school.

You have every right to this .. unannounced!

Answer 9

hmm this is a tough one.  I think that something must be happening somewhere.  The dog thing sounds like something he is just saying...like to distract you from the real issue.  I would ask to talk to the principal.  Let her know that this is a serious problem and want to get to the bottom of it.  They should be more than willing to help.  If you get the run around go above their heads to the school board or superintendent and so on.  Someone will help you.  Maybe he could talk to the school psychologist. In the meantime, bribe him.  Tell him if he goes to school all week without crying he can get something.  He is old enough that I would sit him down and say look we are trying to help you here.  It will take longer to get to the problem if you don't just tell me what is so bad that you cry in front of everyone at school?  I did something like this every Friday in junior high because our gym teacher was brutal in making us run.  Good luck!

Answer 10

Yeah. I have that problem with my daughter when I had to get her up for school. I made her go to bed earlier and then I wake her up one hour earlier and let her watch cartoons. Then I get her ready while she is watching cartoons. When it comes time to go to school, I would put her in the car seat and talk about all the fun things she did the day before. When I got to school she would just run into the place.

If you dread getting up and taking your kid to school, he picks up on that and he dreads it too. Some people just can't function in the mornings without their coffee or morning paper. Don't expect your kid to be any different. Wake him up one to two hours early so he can play and use the bathroom. Don't rush him. If you force a child they will throw a tantrum which according to experts is caused by stress that they just can't handle. What I am describing is called transitional psychology. It means you have to basically get they mind ready for the change in location or task.It helps a lot. Don't force him. Use the con man's creed. The best way to get someone to do what you want, is to make them think its their own idea. You are the parent. Remember you're supposed to be smarter than them. Every time you show frustration, you demonstrate to your child how effective his tantrums are. You have to remain cool and pretty much unemotional or unresponsive to his tantrums. Kids eventually stop throwing them when they prove ineffectual.

Answer 11

get him a doggie.

Answer 12

is it like that for everything you drop him off for, or just school? if it's for everything and he's just the kind of kid who has some separation anxiety (and assuming after he gets through the unhappiness of the drop-off he's fine at school), i'd see if a friend could drop him off at school for a week or so.  

if it's just school, i'd talk to him, talk to the teacher, and talk to the school counselor (who may be able to "spy" on him during the school day without his realizing that's what she's doing, and let you know if it seems like something traumatic is going on at school).

does he have friends in his class? is he happy when he comes home? is it academics that are stressing him out? is there a problem with the teacher? could he be being bullied? lots of things to look into.

Answer 13

Poor little guy.  My daughter had the exact same thing in grade school--ugh, the meltdowns!--as did my nephew.  It's so heartwrenching for you, but you're not the worst mom ever.  Try to stay calm.  I know that doesn't help, because it's easy to let yourself be pulled into the emotional turmoil of it.  But try your best to be the positive, encouraging rock that he needs.  It's just school anxiety, that's all.  It's very real for him, and I think a lot of kids go through it.  He will outgrow it.  My daughter did!  My nephew did, too.  Clear through 5th grade that kid would get himself so upset, there were mornings when he'd actually throw up in the school parking lot.  His parents just dealt with it matter-of-factly and sent him into the school anyway.  What else could they do?  And according to the teacher, he was actually one of the popular kids in his class!  Go figure!  So say a little prayer for yourself and for your son, stay upbeat, and, really, he will be okay.