How can I stop myself from searching for a dad in all the wrong places?

Question

I'm 18 years old and I live with my dad. We've never been close and it's never bothered me. But I've noticed that I've been attaching myself to older guys, (44-50), and convincing myself that I loved them or had a crush on them. But I know that it's because I'm trying to find a father in all of them.

It's like I'm 'fabricating' them to be a father that I don't have. How can I deal with this void and convince myself to stop looking for a dad in all the wrong spots?

My dad is really difficult to get a long with.

Answer 1

You say that it's never bothered you that you and dad are not close - yet you are looking for a relationship with a substitute.  Maybe you need to let it bother you, deal with dad, and, forgive the harshness of this, grow up and accept your father for the man that he is.  Find your life.

Answer 2

I don't think you will be able to stop until you find SOMETHING in life to fill that gap you are missing. me, I filled my gaps temporarily by joining theatre. it's a close family, and adults are there too so that could deffinatley help you.

but you need to find what fills your gap. if it's a father you need, and nothing else can fill that, then you will feel that way until it's filled or you do somehow find a different way of completing yourself

Answer 3

Just get on with life and cut off the emotional baggage

Answer 4

I say "move on." It seems like the only way to get on with life and not feel so hurt. Sometimes building more relationships with others seems like your only solution, but it isn't. The emotional ties are only hurting you, and trying your hardest to connect with someone that will NEVER try, too, is wasted attempts. Just.. forget everything about having a dad. Many kids have to deal with it from a young age... maybe this helps you understand their emotions and bitterness.