How can I support pregnant friends while I am tryin TTC with no luck?

Question

My sister in law may be pregnant and while I am happy for her, it is hard for me. I have been trying for a while for a second child and am not having any luck. I want to be supportive of her, but it is so heart breaking for me to think about her being pregnant and me still trying. Any advice on how to deal with this.

Answer 1

its amazing to see that their are woman in the same shoes i am in. some days its like every 2nd person i look at is pregnant. i have 6 close friends pregnant which is pretty depressing but i agree to the women that say fake it untill you make it and give pretty cool presents for when it is your time i bet you will be returned the favor. good luck and lots and lots of babby dust to you and each woman that reads this.

Answer 2

It's very hard I can tell you that. Does she know that you are ttc? Perhaps you can talk to her about it if she doesn't just let her know how you feel so she knows to be considerate of your feelings. It's a 2 way street. I had to support a young friend who didn't even want to be pregnant while I was trying to concieve that was so hard, because it frustrated me to think that here she was pregnant and didn't even want to be yet I was trying my guts out and had nothing to show for it. She knew that I was trying though and was always careful about how much she talked about it when with me and often asked if I was okay with the topic when it came up. It really is tough. You just need to be fair on yourself as well as honest about how your feeling. Somedays it will be easier than others.  

Answer 3

I know how u feel. My hubby and I have been trying to get pregnant for a little over a year now.

My sister told me she was pregnant a few months ago.  And they weren't even trying!  I felt so mad at the world and at God!  It just felt so unfair.  

I cried my eyes out.  I just tried to be happy for my sister.  After all, she had my nephew/niece growing inside her.

I know it's not easy.  Just try to think of the good side -- like how you will have another baby in the family.  Maybe the good karma and the happiness for her will make you forget your pains.

Good luck and Baby dust!

Answer 4

I totally feel your pain....I'm in the same boat! And what makes it worse is that you always tend to run into pregnant women everywhere and find people close to you are getting preggo.  My aunt, who has 2 children, unexpectedly got pregnant and I just am having a horrible time with it!  I am happy for them but SOOOO sad, mad, etc. that I haven't gotten pregnant yet.  

The best way to deal with this is to realize that it is all in God's plan and we will all get what He feels is right and at the right time.  Patience and Trust in Him.

Good Luck and Baby Dust to both of us (and everyone else ttc!)

Answer 5

I know how you feel!  When my sister in law told me she was pregnant I was ecstatic, she had been trying for 5 years and Finally it worked! But, when my best friend became pregnant without even trying I was extremely jealous.  It was hard at first to be happy for her (which I really was, but sad for me I guess) But I sucked it up and had to at least be a little happy to have a new baby around.  Unfortunately, she had a miscarriage and I feel really guilty for ever feeling envious or jealous.  I guess the best answer I could give you is fake it till you make it!  I think it will take no time for you to be supportive!  Good Luck on TTC #2!

TTC#1 33 months

Answer 6

Oh, I so know how you feel. I had a cousin pregnant, a friend pregnant and 3 sisters-in-law pregnant (and literally 10 women at church) pregnant before I got pregnant.  It took me 10 months.  It can be hard to be supportive, but what I did was just know that my time was coming. :)  I helped with gifts and showers and just focused on my friends' and family members' happiness.  That helped me to not feel so bad about myself not being pregnant.  I do admit though, I cried literally every time my period came.  Then I went out and ate out with my husband. haha

Answer 7

With great difficulty, when we started TTC this round for #3, we conceived and so did friends of ours who were TTC well I had a chemical pregnancy and she is now 5 months along, that should be me with her, it's really really hard but you just need to suck up some inner strength and get on with things and try not to let it get you down, easier said then done yes, but it's all you can do instead of losing the plot.

(Hugs)

Answer 8

Your time will come!  For the time being, you can offer support to pregnant friends because you have been lucky enough to have one child.  You can share your experience with your pregnant friends.  It's always hard when someone has what you want.  Keep your head up though!  Your time will come!

Answer 9

I know how you feel. we have been trying for years with 3 misscarraiges and now on IVF.  In this time I have had 5 friends have healthy babies, 2 are pregnant again and I have a room full of everything you would need for a baby, just no healthy baby for us.  I cry when I am alone and try to think positive.  One day it will happen and when it does what a special baby that will be.

I wish you well, but unfortunately I dont think there is anything you can do appart from staying positive and remember, good things come to those who wait.... well that's what my ma used to tell me growing up.

Best wishes and good luck to you