How can I teach celestial mechanics to people who have the minds of chimpanzees?

Question

I'm beginning to suspect that there are people who just can't learn anything even slightly complicated. There's a fraction of the population that can't seem to dispense with the idea that, to get to that planet over there, all you have to do is point the nose of the spaceship toward it and blast the rockets until all the fuel is gone. Their attitude reminds me of those commercials where a company is being run by chimpanzees in business suits, while some low-ranking human tries (and fails) to talk some sense into them. The more I explain celestial mechanics to these folks, the less they seem to believe me.

Answer 1

take them out to shoot skeet....

Answer 2

The average bear drinking, American Idol viewing, Wal-mart shopping individual is so ignorant and uncreative, it's a miracle they can get dressed without asphyxiating themselves.  

Trying to explain the difference between Irishman and a Scotsman confuses these people.  Explaining Black-holes, gravity, white dwarfs, gamma-rays, and other celestial activities would be a waste of breath.  Here I can already predict their "clever" responses!

-Dude, are you high?

-Ohhhh-kaaaay

-Whatever

-You need to lighten up

  

Answer 3

**oook**

use the "stick and carrot" approach

**ooook**  

Answer 4

Well, if they act like chimpanzees, I guess you could bribe them with food. But the fact that I know nothing about celestial mechanics means I can't offer any practical teaching suggestions, except one: make sure they understand that everything moves in space, and whatever you're trying to reach is moving in one direction or another really fast. Plus everything is bigger than it looks. But if they don't know those two things already, they're beyond saving.

Answer 5

You don't.

It may not be a popular idea, but while people may have equal rights, not everyone has the same level of intelligence.

Answer 6

A wise man once said, "start where the learner is." I know that's hard when you have a curriculum to get through. Nonetheless, wherever their misconceptions end, that is where you must pick up.  

Answer 7

give them bananas and train them to push colored buttons.  

Answer 8

Hehe well ifs ya wants ta lern em sumpin jus do want mah dad does an cuts a switch from a tree an beats its inta dem.

Answer 9

I find a kick to the throat usually gets my meaning across.

Answer 10

Well, in fact, you would need to point the nose of the spaceship to a point forward in the planet's orbit to reach them actually.

But start from zero, and i mean ZERO, teach them from classical mechanics, they need to understand  the uniform circular motion first, then teach them something about kepler, then newton...

or do a rap about it >_>

Answer 11

What is there to teach them?  They know this stuff;  it is intuitive in their everyday experience.  They just haven't made the connection between the practical world that they know and the theoretical model that expresses the same ideas.  

Try a simple experiment, video tape them, and show them that they are already making the adjustments that you are trying to model for them.  

Answer 12

I don't understand your question. can you be more specific please.  

Answer 13

Learn to speak the language of a chimpanzee.  The sign of a good teacher is being able to relate to those you wish to teach in a language they can understand.  Try changing your approach?

Answer 14

Chimpanzees have very short attention spans.  You need to break down the material in very small chunks, and give them time to digest it.  For example, i have an 11 lesson program for teaching addition.  Each lesson takes approximately 7 seconds. I teach one lesson a week.  So after 3 months, any two numbers can be added reliably.  11 more lessons are added for subtraction. I'm still working on extending this program to include calculus.

This takes care of chimpanzees.  I have not yet found a way to teach anything to a fundamentalist.