How can I teach my mom to be more ladylike and less...disgusting?

Question

It sounds horrible, but really. She's gross sometimes.

She wears (around the house) super short, really thin cloth shorts that show her underwear out the bottom. (My mom is about 100-120 lbs overweight, too). Also, when we're out in public, she's raised her arms before and shown her stomach, and I'll tell her, and she'll just say she doesn't care. She smacks when she eats, always has her elbows on the table, and doesn't take care of herself in the general manner (she bathes, but she hardly puts on any makeup and her hair is always a mess). She does NOT know how to close her legs. Her legs are ALWAYS spread wide open, and it's disgusting and trashy.

I love my mom, but she's really embarrassing to take out anywhere...it's not because of her personality or anything, she just isn't aware. But, even at our house, she grosses me out a lot. What can I do?? Any time I mention one of these things to her (nicely, of course) she either cries or gets pissed and yells at me!

I need to help her! Please give me advice!

Answer 1

Well sounds like you did all you could n she doesnt want to hear it. Just have to accept her. My mom had habits that grossed me out n sometimes i thought she looked sloppy, but you know what, that doesnt matter...i lost her when i was 20 n I wish i had just accepted her. I would have her back with her gross habits anyday! Just be grateful you have a momma to go out with! Not everyone does!

Maybe get her some mom jeans...lol...watch this from snl.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/10333/saturday...

Answer 2

Bless your heart.

Your mom has no self-esteem and sorely needs an intervention.

Ever seen a TV show on BBC America called "You Are What You Eat"? Yeah... like that.

She is carrying around the equivalent of two grown people on that one set of bones! She needs a trip to a doctor and she needs to be put on notice about her health... high blood pressure, destruction of joints, diabetes, heart attack and stroke are all staring her in the grille if she doesn't change her ways fast. See if you can find the number for her doctors (at least an OB-Gyn)... talk to them and get them to call her in for a routine physical with fasting blood test. She needs information and you need ammunition.

I would suggest that you take over the chore of grocery shopping and preparing meals. The easiest diet would be along the lines of Suzanne Somers (you can pick up the books used on Amazon.com). Build a lot of elaborate savory salads for meals. Dessert can be an "ice-cream" made from bananas and frozen fruit in your food processor.

You can help cut her cravings for sweets and carbs by adding some supplements... chromium picolinate and borage oil. Another helper would be cod liver oil in gelcaps (or salba/chia seed oil if her digestion won't permit it).

Get into the habit of getting your mom out for a leisurely walk every evening. The more she moves, the better she will feel.

Answer 3

sign her up for that show on tlc i think called "what not to wear"

or take her shopping and pick out some decent clothes for her

Answer 4

hard to imagine having to try to be a mother to your mother. sounds to me like no one taught her much. I think the only thing you can do is just and i mean just... tell her you love her. If she cries when you point something out to her than what are you suppose to do...? pray for her to get her head together... My heart goes out to you...

Answer 5

Not to be mean or anything but when you ask her to change her reaction is a little childish. I would sit her down and tell her where you're coming from and give examples and peoples' reactions. tell her you don't expect her to be perfect and that these are small changes she has to make that will lead to her not appearing disgusting to you and or other people.

Answer 6

Wow... you have your work cut out.

My mom use to embarrass me quite a bit, too. She would pick her nose at the stop lights; she had armpit hair; she would f**t (and it stunk like the dickens) when we had guests, etc.  But overtime it has gotten better.

Part of it was just my brothers and I saying to her, "you know people find it rude/offensive that you pick your nose at stop lights" or we would yell "EVACUATE, EVACUATE ... f**t Alert" and she got the message.  

One don't take her out in public as much with you.  I know it may be hard but your sanity is at sake here.

I am glad you took the opposite road and realized her mannerisms are quite disgusting and not ladylike.

Good luck with it all!

Answer 7

Take her on springer

Answer 8

accept her for who she is.

Answer 9

What you need to do for yourself is to start focusing on the positive things she does for you. Start with the fact she gave you birth and fed you and loved you and made sure you were safe. From there go to all the big and little things she has done for you and the sacrifices she made so you could have things. It is easy to be critical of others but it is not so easy to look at the good they do for us. Someday she will be gone and you wont have another mother waiting in line to take her place. I hope I helped a little bit.

The reason she gets upset when you point out her faults is because you have made yourself her judge and jury and are condemning her. I doubt you would want anyone doing that to you.

Answer 10

well it seems like she's not THAT gross. it seems like you're kind of a neat freak. she doesnt have to put on a lot of makeup or things like that. she can wear short shorts around HER own house. and the smacking and legs opened wide, and messy hair is not that great i must admit. and she cries because it lowers her self confidence when u say these things whether its true or not. just tell her wat u told us.