How can I tell if it's love?

Question

I'm 25, and there is this really hott guy I've been dating since August 6th. When we first met, him and I were immediately attracted to one another. Also, we have some common interests and have been on several dates. But, he is traveling for work related purposes, and he even gave me his schedule, so I know where he will be at. Aside from his schedule, he comes down to see me, and I see him when I can. I know he has a history of cheating. His second marriage broke up, because he had an affair. And, I've never cheated on someone before. I want to date him, and he wants to date me, but he won't commit and deep down I'm afraid he will cheat on me, because of the affair he had, but I didn't tell him that. He will go out to social events with me and we will hang out, and we already slept together. He just calls us "good friends...with benefits" and I don't really like that, I'm in love with him, but is he in love with me, but afraid to admit it? I don't really want to loose him.

Answer 1

Maybe he is not the type to "fall in love" quickly and this is why he is sticking to the "friends with benefits" label.  If you don't like that label, tell him.  Honesty is always the best policy.  How else will he know?  If he is giving you his schedule so that you will know where he is and how to reach him, he is obviously putting forth an effort.  Maybe he is scared he will s***w it up so he is taking it slow.  He knows what he did to his marriage and maybe he just wants to make sure he won't hurt you as well.  It could all be a good thing so don't think only about the negative.  Good Luck!

Answer 2

your heart beat unusually.

Answer 3

Sorry to tell you, sounds to me like he's not looking for a relationship. I think he definitely has an interest in you or else he probably wouldn't have given you his work schedule. It sounds to me like he's trying to keep you as his back up. I really don't think he's looking for a relationship, atleast not with you or not right now.

Answer 4

You can't tell, thats the fun of dating.

Answer 5

I hate to have to say this, but he is just getting what he wants from you.  He is a player.

  

Answer 6

It is not love it is lust.  Love is something that is shown over a longer period of time when the attaction isnt as strong.  You have to get to know the person he reallly is with all of his faults.  If he failed in two marriages he has some deep issues.  You can do better.  Don't sell you self short.  You have to go through some adverity to find out if he really cares.  You are still in the fairy stage.  I would say slow it down.

Answer 7

Have you heard of this saying: Cheat is always a cheat.

I think, he is not worth it.

Think 10x and decide wisely.

Good luck.

Answer 8

You seem like a sweetheart so I am going to be honest with !you!

You answered your own question! He called your relationship "Good friends with benefits" so that means it is the efforts and benefits of a relationship without one!

You also said he wants to date you yet won't commit. You don't date somebody without commitment!

On top of that he has been married twice and cheated so he has a history of not committing

I think he is taking you for a rebound romp and a proper jump off! You don't need that kind of label or him in your life!

If you want love, dump his *** and date other people and stick to what you want for yourself and never settle for anyone one's standards but your own.

But if you want to stay with him, don't expect anything then what you have now, which can all lead to one tragic heartbreak!

I hope you make the right decision!

Answer 9

good friends with benefits? i think u just answered ur own question. no serious relationship orrrr one that would turn into something meaningful would be one sided like that. u think ur in love he thinks of u as a person he has fun with and has s*x with. sounds like nothng more then a fling to me. if u dont want to lose him ur going to have to accept the relationship for what it is. FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS!!!!

good luck sweetie!

Answer 10

First of all, I hate to say this but less than a month is a very short period of time to fall in love with someone - especially a someone you're not officially dating. I think you're infatuated with this guy, more so because he's somewhat of a challenge to you, with his traveling and unwillingness to commit.

But girl, you're 25! Don't you know by now that "friends with benefits" NEVER works when one of you has strong feelings for the other? If he never decides to commit, what have you gained from this relationship? He's a convicted cheater, he's been divorced twice now...why do you need (or WANT?!) this baggage? Don't you think once this "love" of yours gets more comfortable that you'll be terrified every time he leaves the state for work? Come on now. Use your head.

Answer 11

get away from this guy he is a player thru and thru, your looking for heart break

Answer 12

Do you really feel like you love him after 1 month? I'm not saying it's not possible but the doubts you have for the "relationship" point towards infatuation. If he's been married 2 times then it's highly unlikely he isn't in love after 1 month either..

Sorry but if I were you I wouldn't want to be with someone who has 2 failed marriages. Marriage is forever.  

Answer 13

Ok, so he already told you he doesn't want to commit and calls u a friend with benefits, so what else do u wanna know? The guy's been clear about his intentions, and you are the one who's reading too much into the situation coz in ur mind u want it to be something more deeper and long lasting. Wake up and face it!

Too many times we give ourselves heartache not because of someone else, but coz we live in denial and r not ready to face the truth.

Do not pursue it as "love", but if u want more out of him and do not want him to treat u like this, then walk out.......or compromise with the situation if u can be fine with the way it is.