How can I tell my brother-in-law and sister-in-law their kids are mean and disrespectful?

Question

Okay, so last night my hubbie's brother and sister-in-law came over to our house to meet our baby. They bought over an apple pie, which may I say was pretty bad, my brother-in-law, George is 46, while my husband is 32, and George's wife's name is Kathy and their three rude kids, (Ages 13, 9, and 5). We're not close in any way, but my hubbie pursuaded me to invite them. They pocked my baby all night (5 PM- 7: 30 PM), and when I told the 5 year-old he couldn't hold him, he threw a temper tantrum right as my baby was sleeping!!! Oh, did I also mention George is perverted?? As I was breast feeding my baby, He was looking at my breast, Bill confronted him, but that didn't do any good. They kept pocking him and the baby started to cry. All they did was laugh. I told them to stop, and they wouldn't!! Finally when they left I told Bill I was never seeing them again, and that was final, but how do should I tell them?? Thanks in advance! ♥

Answer 1

I don't think there really is a need to tell them , unless they at some point *ask* why they are never invited anymore  ,then be upfront and honest about why you have chosen to not invite them back ie;   " your kids are rude and disrespectfurl , and YOU are a pervert for staring at me while I was nursing my baby "    

Answer 2

They brought an apple pie.

All you had to do was lay down the law immediately by holding the baby yourself, and limiting their physical contact with baby. Some people are jerks, but you can get them to behave how you want in your own home.  They may be different from you, but they're your husband's "kin," and he may not appreciate being told he can't see them in his house.

Answer 3

You DON'T really have to TELL them anything,JUST AVOID THEM ,if you really feel that they are rude and disrespectful.Saying something to them isn't  going to change who they are or how they act, .the only thing you will probably accomplish ,if  you say anything to them is to cause a bigger rift between your husband and his brother.Sometimes you can make a bigger statement,by NOT making one at all.

Answer 4

You're something of a major pushover, no offence.

I hope you weren't being polite to them.

I can't really imagine being in your situation, because I wouldn't have let it developed that far.

Why didn't YOU confront him for staring at your t*t?

Or after they wouldn't stop poking your baby, ask them to get out?

In the end, you're in a situation where you've been the victim, and you're never going to see them again anyway if you get your way.

Answer 5

What you actually should've done was throw the kids out the house til they behave.

I must say, there is something seriously wrong with those kids. Tell their parents, if they do not think as you do just don't let them near you again.

Answer 6

Yes they are rude, dont invite them over any more. To be honest you really dont have to say anything, leave it up to your husband. They are his bother/sister in law.

Just a bit of advice, stop breast feeding infront of people... specifically men. It's a bad idea all around.  

Answer 7

they sound really rude! just be straight and say what you have just told us... it migh shame them into teaching thier children how to be behave!

them bringing a pie was a nice gesture, and i hope you thanked them for it... sometimes, the best way to get people to use manners is to use manners towards them first. they might be the "if they respect me, i will respect them" sort, as opposed to the people who are less selfish and show respect to everone...i take it you are one of them :)

Next, my sister has had two babies, and i was there the whole time whilst they were in their "baby years" (my nephews are 2 & 3). When they are little they are a PAIN to get back to sleep sometimes! which is why i think you should of held the baby when they started poking at him, and when they came near you should of said "you can look but dont touch because Baby is sleeping" in a nice voice. if they went against this, you should get the parents involved by saying something like "no, the baby is sleeping and doesnt want to be disturbed. its not very nice poking him, IS IT MUMMY/DADDY?" and then they would of had to step in and tell thier kids to stop.

now with George. trust me, LOADS of guys are really funny about breast feeding; not because they are perverts, some just find it facsinating or disgusting (us women understand it is natural, but men are a bit weird about it). he may not of been looking at it in a sexual way.

if he WAS then you should tell your husband that it is really bothering and upsetting you, and should talk to him.

if george continues after that, suggest (in a FIRM voice) that he steps outside untill the baby is finished feeding.

when he cried and the kids laughed, thats when you should of got MUCH MUCH firmer. told them that they would have to got outside of the room untill Baby was asleep again. if the parents objected you should point out that it is YOUR house and YOUR baby, and that if they wernt happy with your rules, they could leave.

maybe dont tell your partner that they are not allowed around ever again, as it is his family (i know how it feels, i have issues with my partners family too).

maybe suggest having them around for a adults only night? or meet out for a cup of coffe during the day, so you can leave when ever you like?

hope i helped, if all else fails, just tell them straight!

x

P.S

please ignore Terri J's comment on excusing yourself from the room to breastfeed. it is YOUR house, and it is completely natural.

its THEM that have the problem, so ask THEM to leave.

Answer 8

Frankly, I'd love to see an account of this evening by the visitors. It's clear that you had a chip on your shoulder from the moment the door opened. You even had to say something nasty about the pie they brought. So, it makes it really hard to tell just how obnoxious these people are. When your 5-year-old throws a temper tantrum in front of people (which he most surely will do at some point), I'm sure you'll look at that differently.

It's possible that these people really are this bad, but it's hard to say, because you won't give them a chance. I suggest you do some soul-searching here, and then discuss the situation calmly with your husband. They are his family, after all.

By the way, if you need to breast feed and there are males present, it would be better to excuse yourself and go into the bedroom.

Answer 9

you dont need to tell them. If it made you uncomfortable and I can see why, just dont bother.  

Answer 10

no need to tell them just tortue the kids and dont care if their parents scolds u, bcoz its about ur baby getting hurt by naughty, pain in the *** kids(even though im an 11yr. old kid too :D ). and NEVER EVER LET UR IN LAWS VISIT AGAIN unless those kids has brains and manners already. and by the way that George guy was really a pervert, u should have slapped him! and be a supermom to ur baby next time! hihi..hOpe dat helps..

Answer 11

Well you certainly have a good reason to tell those people off! Tell it to them straight. but keep your tone of voice calm and polite. tell them that that maybe their kids could visit when the baby is a bit older because he/she is too fragile or just too young to play with the older kids. If you tell it to them like that then they will maybe get the clue that their kids are too rough with your baby. and for the george thing... the best thing to do was your husband to confront him but thats the only thing i can think of. I hope i helped you out a little :)