How can I tell my husband?

Question

that I want a divorce without him blowing up? He has a temper and can be very mean. I want to seperate amicably, we have 2 kids.

Answer 1

if you are afraid he might hurt you, do it in a public place like a park,  still it is best to try to work things out.  Perhaps you already have, i don't know, but the longer you wait the worse it will be.

Answer 2

Stay together for the kids

Answer 3

Maybe you should have someone whom he respects present while you tell him.  Like his mother, just make sure that she knows that you need her help, that why he might control his anger problems with her around.  Good luck.  

Answer 4

First of all, this surely can't come as a surprise to him.  If things have gotten to the point of where you want a divorce, he has to know things haven't been going well.  This isn't something you just wake up one morning & decide you want a divorce.  You didn't mention if you've been fighting lately, but you certainly do  know he has a temper.  Therefore I would say you're definitely going to need some kind of protection & I mean in the rite way thru the law.  You can't expect to get a friend involved & take a chance of someone getting hurt.  This may sound cruel, but maybe it might just be best if you got a restraining order against him so he can't hurt you.  That at least would keep him away from you & you'd know you wouldn't get hurt.  You'd have to tell the police something in order to get one, &  you could just state you've been fighting lately & you're afraid of him & that he's going to hurt you.  You could then get the protection of the police being there when you give him the news.  He'd have to get his things out of your home, you could make arrangements with the police to notify him of a specific day & time for him to come to the home.  This would all have to be done thru the police, because once you get a restraining order, you CANNOT contact him in any way nor can he either, or you'd be going against the order & "breaking" it.  When he comes to get his things, that's when you're going to have to tell him.  You'll be fully protected, but this would be the only way it could be done if you honestly think you'd be putting yourself in jeoprody plus causing a scene in front of the children.   I can't think of any other way, if things are such as you've stated.  Please don't take a chance that he might hurt you, you have to also think of the kids.  That's about the only way you could do it.  Then you'd have to obtain an atty. & everything would be done thru their office.  If you cannot afford one, go to your local Family Court & tell them your story.  They w/advise you & help you.  In fact, you might just contact them prior to doing anything & asking them for their assistance as to what to do.  I've worked w/them, they are very helpful & willing to help you.  I do wish you the best, & please take care of yourself for your sake & the sake of your children...:)

Answer 5

Find you some alternate living arrangements for you and your kids(somewhere he doesn't know about if possible) If the opportunity presents itself allow him a long weekend and gather your things and go.If he has a temper the last thing you need is a confrontation.Please work out all the logistics prior to your escape so there will be no reason to return.Good luck

Answer 6

you know what.  F''ck his blowing up.  If you honestly want a divorce then tell him and seek one.  And let your want stop right there.  you want to tell someone that you are rejecting them and they are no longer satisfactory to you.  who wants to hear that and how would anyone react in such a case like that.  don't worry about the reaction...get the divorce if that's really your intent and make that your focus.  The courts will settle the rest.  Take the first step and be brave but be sure!

Answer 7

I just did this last december.  There is no good way.  You be calm, explain that you're not happy and you know he's probably not that happy either and divorcing will be best for everyone in the end.  Don't let him try to change your mind or convince you to go to counseling.  You will only be putting off the inevitable and prolonging your own misery.  BE BRAVE!!!  I'm so glad I got divorced.  Don't kid yourself though - being single again takes getting used to.  

Answer 8

If he's abusive you can get a restraining order...then serve him with divorce papers?

Answer 9

wow that can be bad better write a letter or text him. I am not sure you should tell him to his face but be sure and tell him all the reasons you want a D, like he's mean and ill tempered.

Answer 10

I'm not really sure if there is a good answer to this question. You could write a letter..but that is sorta lame. You could tell him on the phone, but I don't think that's right either.  I think anyway you choose is going to be hard on you both. Just make sure that you are safe and that your kids are not home. good luck to you.

Answer 11

Can you go to see a marriage counselor together, so that there is a neutral party there? I would suggest letting the marriage counselor know before hand that you know you want a divorce and are worried about your husband's anger ... if there is a 3rd party there it may help your husband to control himself ... however you will still have to deal with him later.

Best of luck.

Answer 12

Um...just be like we need to sit down and talk..

and if he starts to get mad and yell then go outside and get away from him!

once you tell him then you really really need to tell your kids!

no matter what...or or wait i got it!

you tell your kids first then all three of you tell your husband..that'd probably be the best bet!

well hope everything works out for you:)

Answer 13

this is simple my dear,

after a long hard day at work , you prepare a nice hot bubble bath for him .....while he is busy splashing around you "accidentally" drop your hair dryer and or toaster oven in the bath with him!

lets face it , you never really liked the home your in , and the insurance money will buy a better place for you and your children

Source(s):

disclaimer....the above answer is for entertainment purposes only ...I would never advocate harm to a innocent hair dryer and or toaster oven....~Dave

Answer 14

well first, ask him if hes aware of any problems in the marriage?

and if he says no, then ask him if he feels about certain issues that u feel are problematic in the marriage

and if he says yes there are problems and lists them, then you expand on them and say, well yes i also feel that (i.e. ur jealosy) is a problem and i have tried and tried bla bla bla and i just cant do it anymore

and since we both agree it is an issue, i suggest we separate n part ways

etc

gluck