How can I tell my mother not to do something with my daughter?

Question

So whenever I go see my mother like for lunch, or just at her house.. or whatever. she always does things and gives things to my daughter that I don't approve of. For expample last time we had lunch.. she was giving my daughter KEY LIME PIE! (my daughter is only 6.5 months old) I asked her to stop like 5 times.. and she never did.. then she also gave her a pepercini.. told her not to.. and even held my daughters mouth then the 2nd i turned around she gave it to her.. she gives her soda and thinks its funny... last time. i was done breastfeeding her and she grabbed her by the ankles and hung her upside down.. i asked her to stop.. and she just laughed. When i talked to her about it last time.. she is like i did all this with you kids, and you are fine.. Thats fine that she did that with us, but I don't want to do that with my daughter.. and I have a way of raising her that I want to.. not her way.. how can I get her to stop?

Answer 1

could you get your husband involved? I would take some time off from your mom, or at least let her know that you are concerned. Let her know that if she cannot support the way you want your daughter raised, then you will have to keep your daughter away from her for a while.

Answer 2

What My Cuzin Did Was That She Told My Aunt That See Wouldnt Let Her See Her Anymore (She Was Lying) But My Aunt Didnt Know That. If U Constantly Tell Her To Stop And She Doesnt Threaten Her With Sumthin Small

Answer 3

d**n hard cuz i kno my mom would take it aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalll wroong .. but atleast she doesnt give him soda..that mekes me angry..is not good 4 them

Answer 4

How rude!! She obviously does not respect you or your child. I would definitely put my foot down and show her how serious you are by telling her until she can respect you and not do things you ask of her then you wont bring your daughter around her. Mom or not, thats exactly what I would do. I might slap my Mom if she hung my baby upside down by her ankles, that is just ludicrous. Good luck to you!

(My oldests name is Jazmyn =) )

Answer 5

It's your baby and as her mother it is your job to protect her. If that means keeping her away from your mother until she knows how to act around her, then so be it. Your daughters safety is at risk. For goodness sake, she was holding your baby upside down from the ankles. You said it yourself on your profile that you know everything about babies and pregnancies, is holding a baby upside down by the ankles safe? I think that's pretty simple to answer. You need to go with her, without your daughter and explain to her that you are Jasmine's mother and that what she does to your child isn't your way of parenting and until she can respect your wishes, she isn't to see your daughter. This is your special gift, stand up for it.

Answer 6

I was having a similar problem with my son and his grandmother.  She would give him things that she thought he needed (like apple juice when he was only 2 months old and not very diluted) and completely go against his normal routine.  The only thing to really do is to keep your daughter away.  When your mother calls asking why you don't go visit anymore, then explain to her that if she can't follow the way you are deciding to raise your child then she can't see her.  You are the mother, you have to protect your child.  Besides, I am not one to agree with the whole 'spoiling at grandma's' bit.  I don't think that you should spoil a kid just so they will like coming to your house.  Personally, they need structure.  And if by going to your mom's house means that your child's routine is getting thrown off balance then it needs to stop.  Have a phone conversation with her about this, if she decides that she's going to grow up and respect you as a parent then she can continue to see her grandchild.

Answer 7

Stop visiting and when she asks why tell her and hopefully she will stop!

Answer 8

KEY LIME PIE? at 6 months...that is crazy, tell her your doc said its hurting her...that should make her feel bad and quit.

Answer 9

Inform your mom that until she is willing to abide by your rules you will not be bringing your daughter to see her any more. If she has a problem with that simply say that you are her mother not her. If she does it anyway do not bring your daughter to visit your mom.

Yes this sounds cruel but sometimes it is the only way to get the message across.

It is what my wife and I had to do to stop my mother from doing the same kind of things...my mom said I was being selfish and mean but I told her she was being disrespectful of my wife and I, and our desire to raise our daughter in a way that was different than hers.

It took about 2 months of no visits before she agreed and then a couple of more months when she tried to cheat by doing it when we were not looking. All in all it took about 6 months for her to finally get the message and stop being disrespectful and become a grandmother that we enjoyed spending time with.

Answer 10

Why do you keep going back ?  If she asks,  tell her why you aren't visiting.

Answer 11

dont take you rchild dow to see her she'll soon get the message she shouldn't do things like that, it's you rchild not hers

Answer 12

Perhaps it is time to lay down the law.  Tell your mom that you would appreciate her respect for how you see fit to raise your child.  She obviously raised you to be a responsible adult because you made it so far, now it is time for her to trust your maternal instincts.  If she can't respect your wishes than you can let your mom know that visits with the baby may be eliminated.

Answer 13

Don't let her just walk all over you!

Next time she does this say this: "Mom, I know you are her grandma but I told you not to! I am her mother, and I will raise her the way I want her to be brought up. Please respect that." Be very serious about it. And if she doesn't stop take the baby away.