How can I trust my boyfriend? Pleasee help :(?

Question

I'm only 16 and i've been dating my boyfriend for quite awhile now but I just can't over come to learn to trust. My previous relationships were very hard... I was either cheated on or used. So that doesn't help. My boyfriend hasn't done anything that would make me believe he would pursue being a cheater, but awhile ago he was chatting to a couple girls and being very flirtatious, whom he previously almost dated. I had found out and discussed it with him and we agreed he wouldn't talk to them anymore. That done and said, I still cannot trust him, not just for the girls but for anything. I came to him about this also awhile ago and all he had to say was, "How would you feel being talked to about this if you're a perfectly loyal boyfriend?" He remains to get very frustrated and angry with me whenever I ask him questions about where he is going or anything and tells me i'm controlling. I take things so seriously, along with our relationship, but I cannot build it without trust. I don't want to have to break up with him, because of my issue, of not knowing how to trust.

Answer 1

Young guys don't want to be in a serious relationship. If your getting mad about him talking to other girls, there is nothing you can do about it because it is his life. Guys hate it when a girl is controlling. He already has a mother. Learn that in a relationship there is a risk of getting hurt, and there will be many more heart-brake to your journey of finding "the one". Don't take this relationship so seriously, play the game the guys play. ;)

Good luck.  

Answer 2

your boyfriends right...you are being too controlling...you are not his parents..principal or prison guard..for God sakes you're only 16 and should be out having fun....not being so serious wasting your time on this....this is your trust thing not his but it is his problem now too because he has to deal with your crapola....so ok you had a few dogs at an early age....next time go slower and take the time to see if they are worthy and good enough for you....but if i had someone up my butt all the time accusing me of doing something i didn't do YET then I'd be so mad I"d break up with you..I"d be like "i don't need this stuff..I want to have fun not act like I'm married to a ball and chain....besides there are plenty of other people to fall in love with out there:  its called resentment and once that happens you'll be at each others throat..that no real relationship....so learn to deal with this problem and realize that not everyone is alike and that if you are controlling they'll all want to leave you....and you know what..he has 16 BOY hormones...all boys talk to girls..and you're going to forbid him...you sound more like a mother than a girlfriend...everyone should be able to flirt as long as that's as far as it goes and it's understood...you just hope he's not a do and if he is....well it wasn't meant to be...why don't you spend more time with your friends and have fun

Answer 3

ask bighair426 about trusting.

AIM (instant message him)

Answer 4

OHMGOSHH i was the exact same way as you! all i can say is if he isnt giving you any reason to think that hes cheating on you then stop trying to control who he talks to. he got upset because you kept getting on his nerves. i was in the same type of situation my ex boyfriend had a lot of girl friends and a lot of girls wanted to date him..he was a big flirt and would hug his girl friends and stuff and i felt awkward but then i realized if he really wanted any other girl he could get them..but he didnt he chose me. we're not dating anymore because of my parents..but we are best friends now and its still the same way we have a very trusting relationship....you need to be the same way with your boyfriend.you have to trust him..if you dont give him even the chance to mess up and be around another girl then when hes alone with a girl he will cheat..dont have too many rules..i understand your protecting yourself but your just going to push him away..and make him think hes "whipped" anyways hope i helped..and sorry it was so long lol

Answer 5

Sounds like you have insecurity issues and I don't mean that in a bad way at all. When a girl or a guy gets burned enough times it is hard to trust again,.You should talk to someone about it and maybe a counselor can help you work through theses issues, if not you will never be able to have a sincere, lasting relationship.