How can Stacy deal with her mom?

Question

How can Stacy deal with her mom.

Today Stacy (in her 50’s) and her mom (in her 80’s) were going to spend the day together. Her mother was driving today instead of Stacy.

Stacy: "Mom on the way to the places we are going let's stop at the 99 cent store. Yesterday the guy who works there said new things are coming in"

Mom: “Ok” then changed her mind and said. “No I am not going. I am not taking the side roads I am going on the highway. . No, I don’t have to do what you want”

Stacy: “It will be just for five minutes and I will be right out. You can sit in the car”

Mom: “I am not sitting in the car while you run it. Don’t ruin my day. .”

Stacy: “Then I will go later when we come home from spending the day”

Mom: “No you are not going later, you don’t have to go you are getting obsessive with it. You are getting obsessive with the 99 cent store. It isn’t that you have nothing to wear. I am not making dinner for you”

Stacy: “Mom do you realize you are acting like a child”

Mom: “May be I am a child but I am not taking you. And I am not making you dinner, Buy your own”

Stacy: “Take me home. I don’t need this. It would have taken five minutes and then we would have had a great day but instead you have to pick a fight. You are very controlling”

Stacy’s mom did take her home. Stacy went her way and her mom went on her own as well.

Answer 1

The story has a few unplugged holes: Are Stacy and her mother living together? Does each one of them have her own car? Control cannot be so absolute simply based on who's driving at the time. Does Stacy have a husband and children or even grandchildren? If her mother is as independent as the story suggests, why are a mid-lifer and a senior crowding each other's lives in the name of a mother/daughter relationship? With so many unknowns it's difficult to suggest a any solution to a relational dynamic that's probably been going on all their lives. Perhaps they're prevented from getting along by being too much together. It's ridiculous, considering their ages. I'm suggesting they grow somewhat away from each other by each developing stronger relationships with other people, something that should have happened many, many years ago....

Bottom line is , this relationship is somewhat abnormal.

Answer 2

Love your Mom But don't let her drive you !

There's no reason for you to let her make all the decisions. Tell her , you are driving today,what you are going to be doing and where you are going, if she agrees and wants to go, then let her. For the most part, stick to your guns. Age gives no permit to run over other people !!!  There's something wrong with that picture.

Just don't allow it to happen. It's not good for her nor you...Don't permit her to put you in that same position time after time...

There is a personalized book you would enjoy you can get online at the source and site below. You can fill out the first page then see the book and what it is like. It is a powerful book and very encouraging book.  YOU do matter !

Answer 3

First, she should not be driving!  Eighty is too old and it is obvious from her behavior that she is easily distracted and does not follow an effective logic chain.  Her behavior is caused by the fact that sometimes age exaggerates characteristics that were already there.  You might have her checked for Alzheimers.  But as a 50-year-old, you should realize that these fits are not directed at you but are a result of her waning brain function.  Don't take them personally.  If she says, "No, I won' take you!", just answer "OK" and drop it and go by yourself later.  

Answer 4

First, Stacy should have been the one driving.

Does Stacys mom live with her?

Or does Stacy live with her mom?

Stacys mom needs a husband.

Shes anal.