Perhaps we should make conditions difficult and uncomfortable for all foreign teams.
They could be housed in an Olympic Village located in a council sink estate 150 miles from the stadia. They could be fed only junk food and kept awake at night with traditional British riots. Swimmers could practice in a disused quarry.
Team GB, on the other hand, would enjoy the finest facilities. They would be based at the Ritz Hotel or similar and have access to the newest training grounds. Local volunteers would provide "personal services" and victory would be rewarded with large cash prizes. Failure would be punishable by death.
Any other ideas welcome, please.
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