How can a man return to his ex-wife after several years, whom he can't stand to be around?

Question

Recently, I found out that my ex (whom I was trying to get back together with) to me that he went back to his ex-wife. After 3 years, how could he go back to her when he left to be with me. He always said that he was never happy with her and that he hated her. They fought constantly and slept in seperate rooms for years. He said that the reason he worked so many hours was to be away from her, as much as he could. He always said that he didn't want to be alone. But, why would he do this? Is he that desperate to be with someone. I thought maybe he was paying me back for having a male friend. I told him that all me and the friend ever talked about was him. How could he do this?

Answer 1

he was probably lying.

Answer 2

He obviously had unresolved issues with his ex wife. Many couples who love each other most times find they fail due to not knowing how to reslove conflict in a positive re-inforceing way. Instead they tear each other down and become angry from the frustrations lack of communication brings. He tried taking the easy way out by being with you, but in time he found, like most of us, bring the same unresolved baggage he had from the prior relationship into the one he had with you. He had to think the relationship he had with his ex wife was worth re-building and so he decided to give it another try. With you still in the picture, I doubt if him and his wife will be able to over come and move forward. With you out of the picture, they might have a chance. You need to respect his decision on moving on with his ex wife and dignify yourself by not having an affair with any married men. I know it hurts and I wish you did not have to go through all of this. But the choices you made lead to consequenses like this. So sorry.  

Answer 3

It's a combination of two things:

1) The grass is always greener on the other side, I guess he thought he would be happy with you, and he wasn't and started missing her, ad figured out he'd lost too much.

2) Married guys say things all the time, they complain aout how terrible the wife is even if they're not so bad, they do that to get some booty call. Yeah, he left her, so things were clearly not ok with them, but in the end, he didn't get what he expected with you. It doesn't necesarily mean you failed, it means the conection was not the apropriate one, probably because you chose a married man in the first place.