How can a mother get sole custody of a newborn baby in Michigan?

Question

I am having a baby with my ex-boyfriend who chose to leave me shortly after I became pregnant. He is currently on felony probation for drinking and driving and lives at home with his parents. Although I do want him to pay child support, I do not feel he should have visitation with the baby. How hard will this be to accomplish?

Answer 1

My sister did the same thing you want to do and her child payed the price.  The ONLY time she saw her father was at his funeral.  He died from cancer and she was only 11yrs old.  Had she allowed him the chance to get to know his daughter, their daughter would have benefited greatly.  Now all she knows is what other people remember about him.  By, the way, he was a drunk and what we felt was a loser but he was still her father.  He may have been a better person knowing he could be a role model for his own child.  If you want his money, he should at least get to visit his child.

Answer 2

A good attorney could get child support for you and probably have visiting denied unless/until he successfully finished rehab.  Under NO circumstances should he be permitted to drive with child in car.

Answer 3

I live in Michigan and can speak to some experiences that my nephews and nieces have had.  I have 5 great-nieces and nephews that have all been born to unmarried nieces and nephews.  In only 1 case were both parents actually still a couple when the baby was born.  Quite sad for the babies, but it happens.  Each of the babies I am aware of remained in the full care and custody of the mothers (ADDED:  I mean that they initially were in full custody of the moms until legal proceedings began).  Unless you and the father are on good speaking terms and are mature enough to put aside your differences to ensure what is best for your child, you will end up dealing with all of this through the court system.  Your ex will not likely offer up a fair child support amount and you will have to file for it.  At this point, he may accept paternity of the baby, but his lawyer is likely going to suggest he deny paternity requiring a court mandated paternity test.  Depending on your ex's desires, he may just pay the court mandated child support and not file for custody, but he may also feel (especially if he is living with his parents and they want time with their grandchild) that if he is paying for his child that he deserves at least visitation rights, which he will likely get unless he is found potentially harmful to the baby.  Regardless of your feelings for this man at this point in time, you did care enough for him at one time to have s*x with him which created a baby.  Your child is an innocent player in this drama and deserves to have a relationship with both mom and dad as well as relatives on both sides of her family regardless if they aren't on speaking terms.  At all costs, your child should not become a pawn in a game you and his/her father play.  It breaks my heart to think of the darling babies being brought daily into the world already a product of a broken home before they even take their first breaths.  Every one of my sweet great-nieces and nephews (all under the age of 6) are sadly shuffled around from mom to dad to other family members with no real consistency or even a set place they can call "home".  I hope that you can get past your own personal feelings for this man that you must have at least liked at one point in time and do what is fair for your baby.  Even though you feel he should not have visitation, the court is not likely going to agree with you without some compelling facts as to his incompetence.  You'll need a lawyer so you might want to find one now who can help you with your situation.  Remember, do what's best for your baby, he/she has not asked to be brought into this situation and deserves what is fair to give him/her the best possible life.  ADDED:  Based on the experiences of my nieces and nephews, whether you drive the baby to be dropped off or picked up are going to be up to the court to decide.  In the cases I am aware of, one of my nephews has to do all the picking up and dropping off (more than an hour there and back) because mom doesn't have a car.  In most of the other situations, it is shared.  One drops off and one picks up.

Answer 4

Louie is right. You really have to have things happening like abuse of the child or total neglect of the child for a long period of time to be able to pursue cutting him totally out of the child's life. You are nowhere near any of that, seeing as how the child is still unborn.

You can hire a lawyer about the custody and visitation arrangements now though - it is best to get it all ironed out and official ASAP. You may be able to do supervised visitation in the beginning, based on his obvious issues with drinking and driving, and/or no overnight visitation for a while if you are going to be breastfeeding exclusively.

But it's doubtful you can cut him off altogether, unless he agrees to it in an agreed court order.

Answer 5

I think your child still needs to know the father. If you are worried about the care he will give then you can request some kind of supervision during the visitation. You can have it where Grandma (his mom) is responsible for supervising. Make sure he is not driving your child around, I can see that.

You are now attached to this guy forever that is what having a kid with someone is. You need to really consider what you want, to try to get sole custody may put stress on your relationship with this man. The two of you have a relationship as parents and that may be a bad way to start it off. Is he that bad? Really???  Or are you just bitter about him leaving you? Be honest with your self..

He is the child's father and you owe it to the CHILD to help foster a relationship between father and child.  As long as the man is not going to neglect or abuse your child.

In my experience with a friend (we live in MI) newborn visits usually only consist of a couple of hours a couple of days a week, especially if you are breastfeeding.  

Answer 6

If he pays child support, he gets visitation, period.  That's awful of you to want him to pay child support, but not want him to visit the child.  After all, you shouldn't punish your child by not letting him/her have a father.  You were the one who chose to be with this guy in the first place.  You can ask for supervised visitation if you don't trust him alone.  Custody battles are extremely costly.  Better start saving your money.

EDIT: As far as you having to drive the child to and from, that's something you work out in the custody/visitation agreement.  Seriously, it sounds like this guy is a loser and doesn't deserve joint custody, but this is something you have to do through court and it's very expensive to try and get sole custody if he wants to fight it.  You can ask for supervised visitation and with his history, the judge would most likely agree with you.  Good luck.

Answer 7

i think that is extreemly selfish of you not to want  your child seeing his/her father. Drinking and driving isnt something that would determine him to be an unfit parent so sole custody based on that and the fact you dont like him, isnt gonna work with the courts. My BF lost his licence for drinking and driving, but he is one of the best dads i know to our child.

Take him to court and get a custody/maintenance order in place, but he will get visitation.