How can a mother walk away from her three children ages 7, 6 and 3 with no contact at all?

Question

She was not happy with our relationship. I was partly to blame as that I was always at work trying to provide for the family. we were living the American dream.... A house, two cars, good job, she didn't have to work....... Well she left and left the kids with me. During the custody hearings she said she wanted nothing to do with the kids or myself. I pushed for her to have visitations and she unwillingly agreed to one visit a month. well the first visit came and she didn't show up. She hasn't showed up for any of them. we have been seperated for about two years now. i now hear thru the grapevine that she is pregnant with another child. I can understand her "falling out of love" with me, but how does a Mother walk away from her Children ?

Answer 1

well, she certainly is not my definition of a mother!!!!!

sorry to say, looks like the kids are better off.....

and by the way dad, when are you going to be getting that divorce. you do know she is pregnant and you are her legal husband, don't be surprised if the new baby winds up with your name!!!

Answer 2

It is always hard to understand what another is feeling, or going through during divorce or separation. Sometimes a person just needs to get away from all of it including kids. Its called rediscovering your true identity and the importance of it.  Its better to give her the space she needs, later she will regret her mistake, and live with the consequences of rejection when she wants the love from the children.

Just remember not to talk in vain about her, just let them know you are there and always will be..

Answer 3

This same thing happened to my family.  The circumstances aren't exactly identical, but close enough.

Several years after my parents divorced my Dad remarried a woman named "Jan" and they had my half-sister "Amber".  Jan left the marriage, and my sister, when Amber was only one and a half.  She walked away because she was having an affair, but she made sure to take the new car.  How nice is that?  Take the car, but leave the baby.  Sadly, she became pregnant with the new man.  Eventually, she would leave him and that child as well.  Jan was in and out of my sister's life for several years.  She'd mostly just come around on the holidays, taking my sister to visit grandparents, acting like everything was normal.  Well, it's not normal.  There were great spans of time when Jan did't see Amber at all.  She wouldn't call or write.  Nothing.  Dad eventually remarried ("Marcy") when Amber was 6 or so.  After years of back and forth with Jan my sister requested to have Marcy adopt her.  All Jan would have had to do was show up in court and state that she was unwilling to forgo her rights as a parent.  She was well aware of the court date (certified letter), but never bothered to show up.  Marcy is probably the most wonderful mother somebody could ask for, but my sister still suffers Jans loss.  She has a lot of issues regarding abandonment, failure to see things through, etc.  She's been through counseling, which has been beneficial, but she still struggles with her relationship with Jan, who is now divorcing her fourth husband.

All this to say, you're NOT alone.  There are mothers who have no problem walking away from their children.  As a mother I don't understand how it's possible, but it does happen.  Make sure to continue to let your children know that it wasn't their fault.  Don't say disparaging things about their mother in front of them, no matter how much you want to, or how much it may be true.  Know that there may be long lasting effects from this event, and be open to measures like counseling to help them sort through their feelings.  When you start dating again, don't bring around every woman you go out with.  Because of the lack of a mother figure, your children are more likely to become attached to somebody that you bring home.  If the relationship doesn't work out you don't want your children to feel abandoned again.

Your children are lucky to have you.  It really sounds like you are making decisions with their interests at heart.  Best of luck.

Answer 4

this is gonna be hard to hear.

she is heartless.

she is a disapointment to all women.

and she gives them a bad name

you should be happy shes left, shes obviously a horrible person.

just be everything to your kids and explain that their mum DID NOT LEAVE BECAUSE OF THEM.

Answer 5

WOW!  Your ex is one rude lady!  Are your kids socially unstable?  What a b**chy mom!  Let her do her thing? Make sure your kids have a woman to look up too. Especially if you have a girl.  Boys still need a mother because they need to learn sensitivity and caring also, not that you don't, but from a womanly role model.  Don't ever say you're partly to blame.  You were the victim in the devious scandal of hers.  Just because you worked has nothing to do with her going away.  She abviously had no love in her heart for them. Hope this helps!

You know you love me!

XOXO,

Prettypurpleprincess

Answer 6

she sounds like one crazy woman you married there. I feel a lot of sympathy for you it must be very tough caring for your own children without their mother! Have you tried to get in touch or has she tried to contact you since?

maybe you needed to realise that you need to be there for her when she needed you but you were busy at work, put family before work. unlucky mate but id hate to be in your position! ciaoo

Answer 7

I have no idea.. but the fact that she has another kid on the way is ****** up

Answer 8

Man, that happened a lot.  My ex wife walked off when my daughter was 7 months old and after only less than 2.5 yrs of marriage and never saw her again for 19 years.  Only after my daugher went to West Point and completed the Airborne training and the publication of a newspaper article about my daughter that we had contact with her.  I was the daddy and the Mr. Mom all the time. My ex apologized to my daughter. My daughter never forgives her mom.   So, be tough and be a Mr. Mom.  You can do it.  Your children understand and love you, and that counts.  It hurted my professional career alot as I must spent more time with my daughter.  YOU can't abandon your children.  Your children will grow up better without the bad influence of their mom.  Good luck and all the best wishes to your children.

Answer 9

I don't understand women like that. I would fight like h**l for my kids.  The only thing I could guess is that she may have wanted to start a new life with someone else. Which is sad and pathetic. Love your kids as much as possible because their mother doesn't sound like she's going to be much of a factor in their life.

Answer 10

that is one heartless b****! how can she do that to her kids and you. it seems like you gave her everything.

Answer 11

i guess shes a heartless *****. i cant understand NE1 doing that!

Answer 12

I'm sorry to hear that she walked away from her children. Some women are not mother material and it's sad that your children have to suffer due to your ex-wife immaturity. It appears to me she doesn't want to have to deal with anything or in you case anyone that reminds her of you. My hats off to you for stepping up and taking care of your children. By your children being young, when the time is right, go find someone that like children and start fresh. There's lots of women who will love to have children and a hard working husband, but please be careful as to not bring anyone that's scandelous around your precious gifts. Wishing You The Best!

Answer 13

I wouldn't want a woman like that anywhere near my children. F that b. Don't be heartbroken- you're blessed that you get to keep the kids and don't have a psychopath wife who could leave behind a family of five. If you're up to it- find a woman who is gonna care for those kids, they deserve it. And if you just need time to recover, then do that too, the kids will understand if you try your hardest to do what you can.

Answer 14

shes heartless

Answer 15

Fathers do it all the time and no one is shocked. So why is it so different for women? The children belong to the mother and father equally.

Answer 16

She is selfish.