How can i ask family to help me and my fiancee with the wedding with out sounding to damanding?

Question

Help with my wedding!

Answer 1

Start by considering what kind of help you want, and what kind of relationship you have with your family. Are they traditional, or modern? And are you traditional or modern?

If your parents are traditional and if you are the bride -- hard to tell because your avatar looks feminine but you speak of your "fiancee" which is the feminine form -- then they may be quite willing to host the reception for you, if you are willing to let them. But, that would mean relinquishing control over the style, cost and guest-list and letting them *act* as hosts, as well as just paying. And it would require the humility of coming to them as a daughter willing to rely on their judgment, and that you have a good enough relationship with them already that they would trust you to relinquish control.

If that is what you want, and you do have such a relationship, you can simply ask your mother "Do you want to host the reception, Mum? Joe and I would certainly trust your judgment if that was something you wanted to do; but we're perfectly willing to do it ourselves."

If you don't want to relinquish control, then you will simply have to wait until they offer to give you money for the purpose -- if they do. And, if you don't have an intimate trusting relationship with them, then you may well have burned your bridges. In these cases, start budgetting a wedding celebration that you can pay for out of your own resources.

Answer 2

Just say something like:

"We are starting to plan our wedding and would like to know how involved you want to be"

Answer 3

I've always thought it should be the man's responsibility to provide and pay for the wedding. If you can't afford the wedding maybe you shouldn't have one till you can afford it or cut down on the guest list. In my family this was used as a test as to whether he can provide for you.

Answer 4

Sit down with your family and just come out and ask.  Tell them that you need some financial help with your wedding and ask if they would be willing to help you out.  But, once they start helping with finances, be prepared for them to want to steer things their way and arguments will definitely ensue.  

Answer 5

Financially or just General help?

Answer 6

If it is with ideas for the wedding just ask for suggestions for what ever topic you may need help in. And if it is about deciding between items ask them what they would choose if it was there wedding  what ever you are asking just try not to ask in a"you have to tell me or else" tone and you shouldn't sound demanding

Congradulations and good luck on your wedding:D

Answer 7

Congratulations and best of luck to you both, first of all.

Asking someone something when you are expecting a certain answer is often uncomfortable.  Just remember that when you ask for something, the person/people you are asking have the option to say no.  And you have to accept their decision.

If I were in your position (which I was a few years ago), I would talk to the person who would be most responsive.  In other words, the one that you think will help you and get the ball rolling.  Just make sure that you do not get demanding, as you are asking for a favor from them.  

Here's another thought: if you cannot afford the wedding that you have planned, why don't you try doing some things a little differently.  For example, do a catered buffet instead of the sit down chicken, fish or beef.  Or instead of having the reception at a wedding factory, look at wineries, or really nice club halls.  I had my wedding at a mansion that was owned by the town. The ceremony was performed in the japanese garden next to the huge house, and the reception was in the house and on the veranda.  It was awesome.

It's going to be as beautiful as you make it.  Just make it your own.  Good luck.

Answer 8

Use the word 'if', when you ask them.  As in, you were wondering if they could help out with your wedding.  After all, weddings are expensive and complicated, and you guys don't have either the money or experience to pull this off alone.  

Be sure to let them know that helping you out would involve more than just money.  You could use their help with ideas and organizing everything too.  If you make them feel important, which they are, they will be more willing to pitch in.