How can i ask my dads friend to stop flirting with me and not make it a awkward?

Question

he just got divorced and is about 35 and ive know him for years, im 17

it kind of started as a joke that he was flirting with me but now i feel uncomfortable around him and he takes it too far even when its just us two so its wierder

i dont want to make it a big deal because my dad just thinks its a joke and he is his best friend

but like he asked me go for a ride in his new car the other day and i tried to laugh and say no but he insisted and it was just scary

how can i get him to stop without it being mean?

Answer 1

Don't tell the guy.  Tell your dad that you understand it started out as a joke, but the guy looks at you in ways and sometimes your dad just doesn't see.  Make sure you tell your dad that you are not just making something out of nothing, and that he is truly making you uncomfortable.

If your dad has any sense at all, he will not bring the guy around you anymore.

Answer 2

Thats sexual harrasment. Why wouldn't you mention it straight away? Just tell him that its unacceptable.

Answer 3

Just tell him flat out that the jokes are starting to go too far and that you don't want to make it a big deal. If he  doesn't stop than tell your dad or another family member that is older and might be able to talk to him about it.

Answer 4

1st things 1st u need 2 tell ur dad or mom

Answer 5

If I were you I'd get my Dad to do it for me! Just tell your Dad that your uncomfortable by it and Im sure he'll inderstand!

Answer 6

I had almost the same thing happen to me when I was 17.  My parents used to go boating at the shore on week-ends.  One of their friends down there (Bob, about 37) got divorced and started hitting on me.  He would make comments and it would creep me out.  My parents didn't believe me; they thought he was being nice to me.  I pretty much quit going down to the shore with them for a year, until they saw him for the perv he really was!

I'm scared for you, because your dad should be threatening this man to punch him in the nose for disrespecting his daughter.  I hope it all works out for you and your dad does right by you, because you deserve it!

--->First of all, you deserve to feel safe and respected, especially in your own home.  So no matter what anyone else says or does, you are RIGHT to expect this 100% of the time.  If this guy is making you feel uncomfortable DO trust your feelings!  I am sure he's up to no good, or you wouldn't be feeling scared.  

Please stand up for yourself, loudly and clearly.  If it hurts his feelings, if he pretends like you hurt his feelings, too d**n bad.  He is already forcing you to do things you don't want (car ride); he doesn't give a d**n about YOUR feelings, wants or needs.  Better to speak up than ending up being molested, raped, or at the very least being creeped out by him.  Don't let him manipulate you into feeling guilty; he's the adult, and he's doing something wrong!!!!!!!!

If this man is ever around you and drinking alcohol, get FAR FAR FAR away from him.  Many sexual assaults happen after someone drinks alcohol.  And I don't have to tell you...you should never drink or do drugs yourself, but especially NEVER around this jerk.  You don't want to let your guard down.

1.  Talk to your dad.  Tell him you don't think the flirting is funny.  Ask him to please tell his friend he needs to stop right now.  "Dad, please stand up for me."  Remind dad that you are a minor and you aren't flattered by a grown man the same age as your own dad flirting with you.  This flirting from someone so much older is scaring you and creeping you out.  Tell him this guy is hitting on you even more when your dad is out of the room.  

2.  If dad acts like you are too sensitive and over-reacting, then find a friend (your age or adult) who is outspoken, if you can.  Do you know such a person?  That way you'll have someone to back you up about speaking out.  Is your mom around or is there another adult in your life who will back you up?

3.  If I was you, the next time the guy was there, everytime he said or did something creepy I'd tell him.  "I don't think this is funny.  I don't like it.  STOP."  Then leave the room or get away from him.  Would you ever continue to say things to another person to scare him/her and make the person so uncomfortable?  I know you want to be nice, but if he still does these things after you indicate that you want him to stop, then you need to be nice to YOURSELF, not him.  And that means standing up for yourself (like refusing to be near him at all).

NEVER be alone with him.  If your dad leaves the room, you leave, too.  Don't give him the extra chance to be creepy.  You are right to not go for a car ride with him.  YECH.

4.   Did you know it's against the law for someone to touch you or sexually harrass you?  I just want you to know that you have a legal right to be left alone! I once was on a date where some guy was scaring me, and I told him I would definitely call the police if he did anything out of line, even "just" touching.  It's either harrassment or sexual harrassment. I got someone fined $300 for sexual harrassment, because he groped me and I was too scared to stop him (over 6 ft. tall and weird).  I found out later he had done the same thing to many other women and been in trouble with the law in the past for the same thing.  But hardly anyone ever turned him in.  They were too ashamed.  If you end up in a very bad spot with this man, let him know that you will definitely contact the police if he doesn't stop that second.

I BELIEVE IN YOU.

You can email me if you need a friend.  [e-mail]

Answer 7

that is wierd especially if u aren't even an adult yet

well i think u should tell ur father

tell his friend that he needs to stop

never do anything if u feel uncomfortable around him

and i think u mighgt be able to report it to somebody

good luck 8)

Answer 8

Who cares if your mean? This guy has gotta stop. Tell him outright that enough is enough. Its your personal space, and he crossed the line. As for your dad, if any mate of my partners ever cracked on to our daughter when she was 17, joke or no joke, he would certainly pout him in his place and never be allowed around again!!

35 flirting with a 17 year old girl is wrong!!

Answer 9

tell him  to lay off tell him you dont think hes a perve but tell him flirting with you is making you uncomfiterble.

Answer 10

Forget not being mean. He is creating a dangerous situation for you and you are afraid of being mean????

You need to have a serious talk with your Father, he needs to know that his "Best friend" is making moves on you and it's making you very uncomfortable.

Does this guy have to kiss you, grab your b*****s or even rape you before your Father thinks it's not OK?

Talk to your dad if he won't listen then take it to your minister or your school guidance counselor.

Be careful and just stay away from this pervert.

Answer 11

That's creepy.

I think you should tell him that it makes you uncomfortable.  Tell your dad how it makes you feel too!

Answer 12

There are some things that you just don't joke about and I'd say that's one.  I'm surprised that your dad allows this.  

I had a family member that used to invade my personal space.  Pat me on the bottom or rub my back when I was little and sat with him.  I got the point where even that was pretty uncomfortable so then he stopped.  Unfortunately he moved on to my sis (I hadn't said anything about my discomfort to my mom)  Later we found out that she was being molested.  You need to tell...there is no such thing as innocent flirting or advances between adult and child.  

You need to let your dad know that you are very uncomfortable... it's not fun and he needs to stop his friend.  It should not be a big deal if this friend is doing it all in "fun".  It will be a big deal if this friend goes on the defense but then you know something's up and your dad should consider his friendship with this man.  He needs to step up and protect his daughter.  Secondly, there is NO REASON for you to be alone with him.  Your dad should know better.

IF your dad does not take you seriously I agree with the above poster you need to take it to a pastor, or teacher.  They will listen.  

I had a friend that told me that she passed out in the hot tub at her parent's boss's home.  When she came to he was raping her!  She was so scared to tell and so she told me.  Well I was raised that even if it's a secret if it involves harm to someone it has to be told.  I let my dad know who was friends with her parents.  At first she hated me and the parents were in denial but later on she was thankful and then the guy was turned in for messing with other girls.

If she had kept quiet it most likely would have continued.      

IF you are ever in a situation with someone that makes you feel strange or uncomfortable no matter what... leave.  You don't have to go along for the ride.  I know it's embarrassing sometimes but you have to be strong and put your foot down. Say "No" no matter how hard they push.  It's not mean trust me... it's mean to put you in that position in the first place.  

Best of luck and blessings :)

Answer 13

You might start calling him "Mr. (last-name-here)".