How can i be a nicer person?

Question

This is for my ex. We broke it off because we argue so much. We are ro0m mates which makes for a complicated relationship. We tried not talking to each other but it just gets bottled up. I want to be nice to him but my pride gets in the way. I am way to defensive and i snap at him constantly. I want to make peace but he is not ready and often has bipolar outbursts. This is not healthy for my kind nature. How can i bite my tongue when he says something hurtful and belligerent?

Answer 1

To be a kinder person you should treat him in the manner that you would like to be treated. Now saying that is easier said then done. I have dealt with people with bipolar outbursts it is hard not to snap some times and let him have it back. You should try to stay very calm, keep your voice at a regular volume and tone. This could get him to calm down. Also I sometimes just get out and go for a walk, until the bipolar person calms down. Dealing with someone with mental health issues can be very difficult. You really need to move out as soon as possible. It doesn't sound like you are the one who has the problem. You said you have a kind nature, he's just pushing all your buttons. He probably puts you down and tells you that you are the one with the attitude problem. It sounds like an abusive relationship, just try to put him in your past.

Answer 2

Oh no. You need to move out ASAP. This situation is toxic!!

Until you can get out, when he says something hurtful, just say "I am very sorry that you feel that way," and move on.

Answer 3

This would not be a healthy way to live for most anyone.  You should start looking for your own place asap. Good luck

Answer 4

I thought adults had s*x to solve arguments. Wouldn't that work I know that would make me think of my roommate as a nicer person. Otherwise theres always talk shows or just dont talk for a long time and just give him a smile everyday and let him talk to you first so if any arguments start its him of course so h**l be always the bad one.

By the way for the one below. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar 4 moths ago and I dont snap lol. Ive been normal for the last two months but then again im young mines still developing I think or he has a different form because Ive never snapped into a rage Ill just feel as if ive sunk into complete sadness I can actually feel it almost. My advice for when a person is down is just leave them alone thats how I feel I want to be but then again nothing helps. Let him speak to you first. Maybe your ex has a split personality