How can i be comfortable with myself and quit trying to be "outgoing" and "straight"??

Question

I think i have self esteem issues. Like when people tell me im not open or im not outgoing, i get depressed and search for ways to change it. Im g*y and i like females BUT, i cant accept that either. I'm currently "trying" to be st8. Whats wrong with me and how do i change this?? IM NOT truly happy inside... Help me plz.

Answer 1

dude...do whatever your heart says...if everyone know  that you are g*y..then u should not be shy any way in being your true self...but if people are unaware about you sexual orientation...try, act or be that much in which you are comfortable..but plz dont ruin you actual self..be diplomatic,be cool n be comfertable

Answer 2

You have grown up thinking that what someone else says or thinks controls how you feel. This is not true.

It is always the way we see things that make the way it is. You need to change the way you look at things.

For example - If someone lost their job, they can think "it is the end of the world for me". Or they can look at it another way. They can think "what a wonderful opportunity I now have to find a better job, one that I love and more money".

If someone doesn't "like you", you can think "woe is me, I'm very unpopular without any friends". Or you can think "thank you my friend for showing me that I need to love myself more, so that you can love me".

If you want anything, you have to give it away first.

If you want to be loved or liked by others, - you have to like or love others.

If you want friends - you have to give friendship to others.

if you want happiness - you have to give happiness to others.

Do all the above and more for others, and then watch the friendships grow. As this grows, your self confidence will grow, as you see just how clever and nice you are.

Once you can see you are a really nice person, (and you are) others will see that you are also. That's what will interest them about you, not whether you are straight or g*y.

The power is in your hands.

peacefromken.

Answer 3

Stop letting people define you and tell you what you are would be the first step. Be who you feel comfortable being. I suggest you find a counselor to discuss this and the other issue with if you are not happy.

Answer 4

if you are g*y, then no amount of trying to be straight is going to work; being openly g*y is so common now that they have counselors specializing in this issue; i'm sure a reputable doctor can refer you to one of these

Answer 5

You will only be comfortable with yourself when you accept yourself for who you are!

Stop trying too be someone your not or trying to be what you think people want you to be.

If your not outgoing or straight than your not going to make yourself some thing your not! what so good about being outgoing or straight???

I would much prefer to know that i I'm who I'm because it's me not what others want me too be!!  

Just be you!!  

Answer 6

Hey,

Considering you brought up the g*y issue I'm guessing that's one of the big things on your mind, and the fact you're willing to think and talk about it is a good sign that you're ready to work through your feelings. I agree that's not an easy thing to do, and the stress will probably last for a while, but the end result will be worth it.

Nothing is wrong with you for being g*y, and you shouldn't feel that you have to change because that's completely wrong. For one, you should be proud of who you are, and secondly you can't change your sexuality anyway, no matter how hard you try or how convincing anybody who tries to tell you otherwise might sound. Sexuality is an ingrained part of everybody's identity which we all need to learn to be comfortable with and understand, but the exploration of yourself can be a really rewarding and liberating experience.

You probably don't feel happy because you're maybe confused, stressed and worried. And it's no surprise that you feel your self esteem has taken a hit by the pressure of an uncertain identity.

I'm speaking from direct experience and although no plan works for everyone, I'd recommend focussing on coming to terms with being g*y and accepting that side of yourself rather than trying to change or hate it. Learn to be proud of yourself - you're working through something very stressful and I'm sure you can hold it all together and do yourself proud, coming out (excuse the pun ;)) the other side a very strong and much wiser person for it.

I'd expect your confidence, self esteem and contentment with yourself will improve vastly if you can learn to accept being g*y. Perhaps it would be useful for you to speak to somebody about your feelings? Talking is excellent therapy, keeping stress bottled up will only let it grow! If you don't have any close friends or family who you feel you can approach just yet then perhaps someone like your doctor (who will be very knowledgeable with anything to do with depression, sexuality and even confidence issues), or a teacher if you're in school (forgive me if you aren't, I don't know your age!). Alternatives that might be of interest to you are:

http://www.bgiok.org.uk/

http://www.galha.org/dir/lgb/support.htm...

http://www.samaritans.org/

Have a look for some local LGBT groups or meetings if you're feeling confident enough. Otherwise start with browsing the web for some support communities and information pages, there's a massive community out there and perhaps exploring it will help you see that being g*y isn't a problem.

Remember that there isn't anything wrong with you, we all need support at some time or another and it sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment. Try to be happy and proud of your identity, and go at your own pace.

Good luck!

Answer 7

I think you're in the process of breaking free, and you'll be okay. But, you probably should see a therapist. Or call a g*y hotline to get some advice. You may have self-esteem issues or maybe you're struggling with issues related to your upbringing, local community, job, or school. You certainly need to find a more supportive environment, and that might require that you move, get a different job, get involved in something that's g*y friendly (whether it's the arts, politics, or a g*y-friendly gym), etc. You will be truly happy inside once you get this sorted out. But, give yourself time and don't be afraid of who you are.