How can i be social?

Question

I am not a very social person. I would like to be but I am not good at speaking to others. I am good at talking to my friends but not that good at speaking to new people. I am also terrible at smiling. I can only smile when something funny happens. I always have a poker face when i talk to people. What are some good questions to ask people or things to say to people? I am also not very good at talking to girls. I am a 16 year old male and I am really shy. I am one of those unique people. Geek, nerd, jock. my friends call me a gnock. i have those qualities yet i am not good at speaking. can anyone help me out. I want to be able to talk to semi-friends, new people, and girls better than i can now.

Answer 1

It might be easier if you meet people with one of your friends, therefore you'd feel more comfortable talking to the new person because it's a 3-way conversation.

Use props if you have to..."nice shirt", "what do you do?", "nice necklace", etc.  As for the smiling, well it's something you have to start doing more often.  You don't want to look intimidating or else no one would wanna talk to you.

Answer 2

Try practicing by talking to complete strangers who you'll probably never see again. I was pretty shy and that helped me a great deal.

Answer 3

It sounds as though you have a split-personality.  It is a plus  that you are aware of what you do when the circumstances arises.  The best thing to do is to accept who you are.  Don't think too much.  Try to look in people's eyes when they talk to you, and you will forget about the other stuff.

Answer 4

You sound like me when i was younger because i was brought up in a very controlled life with study being the main aim. You get better by taking chances at speeches, debates, public speaking, running for prefect/school captain.

Just always feel reassured on the outside, even though you may be nervous on the inside. You want to feel warm and happy when you socialise with someone, so that it's not forced.

Do you play team sports? Participate in mixed team sports such as mixed footy or basketball. Meet new people by joining up for different groups that you can participate in school.

After gaining new levels you will find yourself being able to socialise freely with anyone and you'll find yourself smiling when you're interacting with someone else.

Answer 5

i'm the same way, i don't smile much either.  Luckily though were all different, maybe if u practice talking to people and do what the politicians do, practice smiling in the mirror maybe you'll get better at it.  Like some of the other people say in their answers, they were shy once, but got over it by putting themselves out their and forcing themselves to meet new people.  Also maybe deep down inside you don't like some the people you don't smile at.  There are books and websites out there about overcoming shyness.  The website below might have a book that can help.

Answer 6

I remember feeling this way also. I was too nervous or too shy to speak up. You'll learn how to carry a conversation much better as you get older. You lack confidence. Realize that these kids are under the same pressure that you're under. Observe them and learn. Learn how to hide your social anxiety and seem interested in what's being talked about. Have a quick mind and forget about what others may be thinking of you. Stop placing people on a pedastal. You'll waste your youth on being shy. When you become an adult you'll realize everyone else has a dirty crack just like you so whats to be shy about? Start with small talk. I remember the first two words that got me by back in those days: "Oh yeah?"

Answer 7

As you meet new people you get to be more social and it's easier. Just try meeting a lot of new people and talking to them. And you become more confident as you get older.. And for girls, just talk to them like your friends.

Answer 8

well, i know it sounds corny and overused, but be yourself. this is primarily because you owe it to yourself to be yourself. you'd be surprised how people will like you for whatever you are.

also, find your good/cool attributes and let those shine.

good luck my friend!

Answer 9

When I was younger I was shy to the point where I missed out on opportunities that may have changed my life. The only way I started to break away from it was to force myself to speak whenever I walked into a room. After a while you become use to talking that you never give it a second thought. Remember looks do not make or break you, you have to be comfortable yourself and keep an open mind when trying to make friends.Good Luck...