How can i become more sympathetic towards other people?

Question

i listen when people talk to me about their problems and try to help, but if they're still going on about it after half an hour i start to get really annoyed and think either ''get over yourself, things could be so much worse'' or ''just get on with it already, it's your problem not mine''

Answer 1

I noticed alot of people have suggested placing yourself in their shoes, seeing it from another point of view, etc. I am of the same nature. This is the issue with that suggestion. If you ( we ) were in the other person's shoes, we would not react the same, it is our way of life and an engrained part of our personality and who we are. Thus, we cannot feel sympathy for others as some would as we wouldn't even allow ourselves sympathy. No worries, we are all different and what we are due to outside circumstances generally beyond our control. Embrace yourself, it takes all kinds :)

Answer 2

There is a fine line between being sympathetic and being a complete patsy. I don't think it's so bad getting bored with what someone is saying, or even annoyed, especially if they've been droning on a long while. After all, we are all imperfect, and we all have problems.  Sometimes people, espeically when they haven't had a sympathetic "ear" for a while, tend to go on and on and it can become really irritating. A polite person would never say so, but that doesn't mean you can't feel it!

However, that said, if you really are concerned that you might be a little cold-hearted when you listen, really try to imagine what the other person is going through. Are they in pain? Are they lonely? Are they really seriously troubled? Have YOU ever been in that position and wanted a person to unload on? Does the person have anyone else they can talk to? Sometimes just trying on their lifestyle for a few minutes will drum up enough sympathy in your soul too.

Also--you have to ask yourself, did you ASK the person how they are? You know, if you did, then you have a social obligation to listen to the answer! Really--it's just good manners to stay and hear them out if you're going to ask about them. You would expect the same, I'm sure.

And that brings up the final and most useful rule of all: the Golden Rule. Treat other people the way you would want to be treated. If you think that it's okay for you to turn away, or turn a deaf ear to others' problems, then you should not expect anyone to listen to yours at another time.

It's a simple rule for good social behavior and a clear conscience: Just treat everyone you meet as you would like them to treat you.

Answer 3

I would say that you need more patience, and FEEL more what the person is feeling, rather than THINKING of what the person is saying. Try to subconsciously connect with the other person.

Answer 4

Listening to people is a good thing.  I know people get annoying sometimes droning on and on, but try to be patient.  People talk about their problems for a reason.  They need support and guidance and the best people to get that from is their friends and family.  It's really hard when neither of those people will take the time to "be there" for you.  Trust me.  I know from personal experience.  It's lonely, and that's why people tend to "whine" about their problems to someone else.  They get tired of talking to themselves about it.  Ask questions about what they're saying and truly listen to the answer.  Put yourself in their shoes.  How would you feel if the tables were turned?  Just think about it that way and it'll help you be more patient and sympathetic.

Answer 5

you should be less sympathetic

theres nothing wrong with how u r now

Answer 6

By just listening you're a great friend already and maybe you could be more sympathetic if you wanted to there is nothing wrong if you are a little rude like you said it's not your problem

Answer 7

Sympathy is nothing more than a concept used to describe the compassionate behaviour we exhibit to one another.

Therefore, you should practice compassion and patience, as that will get you what you desire.

Answer 8

U r a cold blooded self centred person who only cares about yourself.

There u go.

Answer 9

First, congratulations on being such a great person, a true friend with the talent of truly listening.  You will clearly go far in life.  

However.....there comes a point where people latch on to your listening at them and may even subconsciously take advantage of your great deed of having to listen to them.  You can walk away from that conversation absolutely drained.

Learn to listen more effectively,  try to guide the conversation (that is, try to jump in at opportune moments) and finally.....when you feel you have had enough information,.....then.....cut the conversation and say..."ok, now it is time to work on a plan of action!".  Discuss the options.  At this point, if the person goes along with you....he/she is a true fighter.   If not, he/she is a leach of a loser and is using you to solve every crisese coming their way.

Good luck!

Answer 10

I'm exactly the same. X

Answer 11

This is not a problem with you becoming more sympathetic, perhaps more patience.

It is more of a problem with the other person talking too long about it.  Often people feel the anxiety will leave them if they talk about it enough, sort of "talk it out."

Maybe rather then just sitting there listening, you can take command. First by active listening.  "So you don't think your mother understands you, or she would let you go... " THEN, instead of letting her go on and on, you take charge, like this: "Let's see if we can come up with some ways you can decided whether she understood you."

Also, sometimes giving advise will turn off the flow of mulling over the fears endlessly (specially when she doesn't really want to do something about it, just talk about it).