How can i cope with my grief ?

Question

i lose someone in my family 2 weeks ago, and im grieving so much, i cant think of anything else apart from the person i have lost, and i dont know if il ever get over it cos i think and fee if i do i am abandoning them, please any advice,

Answer 1

they would not want you to shut down your life because of this. It is NEVER easy losing people. I lost one of the most important people in my life 11 years ago. I still miss her every day but I know that I dont have to be sad every day. Think about all the good things. I still talk to her in my head (no im not crazy! lol) but i think what she would tell me to do. When im really sad about something else i think of her in a sad way like if she was here, she could hug me and make me feel better and then i tear up at her thought but you will make it okay hun. People say it and its true - celebrate their life instead of mourning their death and you will be bale to see your loss in a whole new way.

Answer 2

There is no other feeling in the world like the feeling of losing someone you love. The fact that you will never speak with them, hug them, get to see them again is completely devastating.  You have only been without your loved one for two weeks, you need to give yourself time.  I have lost all of my immediate family - Father, mother, step father, grandparents, aunts and uncles as well as several life long friends.  They are no longer here, but their spirit and love lives still withing me.  It takes time to move on, and you never forget them.  But they are gone, and you can't bring them back.  You cannot abandon them, they are no longer here.  Hold the memories in your heart, and they will forever be with you.  Grieve, and move on.  It will get easier - it will never go away, but you will be okay.  Remember the good times, and cry when you need to.  Big hugs your way - you will be okay!

Answer 3

Think about all the good times you had with the person you have lost, and smile as you are doing so.  Celebrate their life & their achievements.

Talk about it to someone who is a good listener.

Grief takes time and we all deal with it in different ways.

Answer 4

Please don't feel insulted by this, but here's a nice poem that has helped me through my own personal grief.

Best wishes.

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there, I did not die.

Answer 5

Don't feel bad because you are trying to move on. Your relative wouldn't want you to be unhappy. I lost my grandad recently, but I'm okay about it, because he's still with me, like your relative will be with you.

You can't let this get in the way of everything you do, you just have to do what you normally do. Go shopping or meet up with some friends.

If you loved them then you'll never forget them anyway. Good luck and cheer up :)

Answer 6

You may never completely 'get over it', but over a period of time the pain/grief will ease and you will come to terms with it.  

Don't think that you are abandoning them it you do get over it/come to terms with losing them, because it is perfectly natural for the pain/grief to gradually ease in time.  Be glad that you were priviledged enough for them to be a part of your life, and think of all the great times you have with them.

When someone passes it tends to remind us that time is our most precious commodity, and therefore the greatest thing we can give anyone.

I lost my dad  nearly 14 years ago, but I still think of him often, and if I have a problem or am upset I wish that he was here, but it's nowhere nearly as painful or as upsetting as it was when he first passed all those years ago.  The other thing is that the years have gone incredibly quickly, it is hard to believe that it is nearly 14 years ago.

I've recently split with my partner (his choice not mine) and that also feels like a loss and in a way it is like grieving for someone who has passed, and although there are not many days I get through without tears at the moment I know that in time it will not feel so painful.

It's fine to feel the pain and grief but try not to let it completely overwhelm your life.  Try to keep yourself a bit busy and keep your mind occupied.  A few distractions would be good too.

Answer 7

Time does help.  I just kept talking to people about what had happened, and eventually found I didn't need to do this any more.  By all means seek counselling or contact with Cruise if you feel you need it, but quite often talking to people helps you move on.  Most of us have lost people and know what it feels like to have to move on from that.  I felt I was telling the same story over and over again to anyone who would listen, and eventually I didn't need to do that.

I didn't go to Cruise, because the times when they had their meetings just happened to be times when I felt I was coping and getting on with things, but I would have gone had I been in difficulty on those days.

Answer 8

you wont ever get over it but it will take time to get better. keep talking about it and the person , if you keep all yout thoughts and feelings bottled up you will spiral out of control. think of good times and the fact that the person would not want you to be like this.

Answer 9

First, I am sorry about your loss. Secondly it has only been 2 weeks! Grieve, mourn and cry until it you feel better no matter how long it takes. One day you will accept this person has passed and no matter how long it takes to move on, you will always miss this person and always grieve that person. My Grandfather died 18 years ago when I was 10, I missed him but I was young and did not think of it much, now I miss him terribly and have started my mourning when I got older. You will be fine dont worry and you are abandoning no one dont ever think that.

Answer 10

It just takes time.

Get some grief counselling - they will help you overcome your feeling that you're abandoning your loved one by getting on with your life. If you're in the UK, contact MIND: http://www.mind.org.uk

Make sure you eat well and regularly, and try to exercise a little, even if it's just going for walks. Share your grief with your family, help each other through this. Spend time with your friends. Try to get a normal amount of sleep.

Just take each day as it comes. Don't expect too much of yourself.

Slowly, you will heal.