How can i cope with my sons behavior?

Question

He is really wearing me down,he laughs if hes shouted at so i have resorted to smacking his legs,he also thinks this is hilarious. I am at the end of my tether with him,i also have a 6month old,my eldest is constantly hurting him,taking his dummys off him etc he is also destroying my house slowly,pouring things on the carpets,spitting everywhere,destroying anything thats not his! I just dont seem to be getting anywhere with him.and i feel like just giving him up because i am far from coping with his behaviour! (I would not give him up,but i feel like i could at this moment) any advice would be appreciated more than you know

Answer 1

I think he needs a good talking to from a dominant male - his dad. He should be respecting you and the rest of the family.

Answer 2

he seems to be craving for attention, even if it's negative. spend extra time with him alone without the 6 month old. Shower him with hugs and kisses when he does well and use a very stern voice when he is naughty

Answer 3

It sounds like your son is trying to get attention, whether it be positive or negative.  With the new baby, he feels like you are not paying attention to him anymore.  Even if you think that you are giving more than enough attention, he does not perceive it that way.  He sees that a lot of your time is spent with your 6 month old, not him.  

First, stop the hitting (believe me, I know what it is like to think that you have to resort to the occasional spank.  I tried it with my daughter when I was at my wits end, and all it did was make her more aggressive).  You need to calmly ask your son to behave.  If that doesn't work, try time out.  Place him in a spot in the house where he is isolated (no toys, books, tv...) but safe.  Tell him that he will have to sit there until you decide he is ready to get up.  A general rule of thumb is to have the child sit one minute for every year of life (ex. 3 mins for a 3 year old).  He should sit and be quiet.  You may need to place him back a few times, but be sure to follow through and make him sit.  Once his time is up, he has sat and is calm, go to him, tell him that what he did was wrong.  Ask him to apologize to you, and then be sure to tell him that you love him.  Try to reinforce that you want to have a good day with him and that you can have lots of fun together if he just behaves.

Also, try to spend some quality time with him when the 6 month old is sleeping.  Play games, color, paint.  Make him feel like there is some time in the day that is designated just for Mommy and me time.  

I hope this helps!  Good luck.  It takes a while to get it all to work smoothly, but it will happen.  Just try to stay patient and be consistent.  Talk to your husband and be sure that the 2 of you are on the same page with discipline.  It needs to be consistent across the board!!  

Answer 4

First you need to have a good talk with your hubby, marriage needs lots of give and take, and by the sounds of it you need more help than you're getting. If smacking and shouting isn't working, try another way. Do you have a small safe room, with nothing fun or dangerous in? when he does something bad say calmly (you are going to spend (however many minuites is fair) In this room because that was bad, then put him in and hold the door shut. When you let him out, ask him if he understands why you did, and keep explaining to him. You can always renforce this with star charts and treats for good behavior, 2p's for a rewad and a trip to the sweet shop once a week is a good incentive if you keep reminding him.

If you need a friend or just someone to talk to, email me =)