How can i cope with the distance and time away through a deployment?

Question

My fiancee just left today to train to go to afghanistan. He is getting mobilized for 45 days and then leaves for afghanistan for a year. How can we best cope and get through this. I know he is scared and worried. (add. info, He is a combat MP for the National Guard)

Answer 1

1, he should only be gone for 9 months, but who knows with the Military.  The advice I give to you is always try to answer the phone when he calls and if you don't, please have a good reason as to why you didn't.  You should also avoid intimate relationships with other men, for the loneliness can sometimes take over you and you will end up doing something you will regret.  Send him lots of letters and pictures and care packages of his favorite things.  Let him know and feel that you love him and that you are waiting for him.  Alot of people will probably try to put it in his mind that you are being unfaithful and with the stress of combat, being away and them on his back, he might snap at you sometimes if you don't answer the phone or be a little harsh with you.  Take it all with a grain of salt.  if you plan on marrying this man you are about to have one of the hardest jobs in America, being the spouse of an Army Soldier.  Just make sure he feels your love and fidelity.

Answer 2

Letters, care packages, pictures. Its gonna be hard but you have to support him in every way possible. Don't add any stress to him during this and visa versa. My soldier is leaving for Iraq in a few days but he's been away training for 2 months. Just find a good friend to lean on during all of this, there are a lot of good deployment songs too that'll probably make you cry when you listen to them but in a weird way they really help. Basically just support him everyday and be proud, talk to him as much as possible. Anytime you're feeling down or bored, write him a letter, draw a picture, etc etc. Good luck.  

Answer 3

my wife went through the same thing when i was deployed...first then is to ensure wills power of attorney all paperwork is straight...the distance kills me and my wife would argue on the phone but when we were back together you wouldve never known that we argued that whole 15 month deployment...you need to keep yourself busy back home and not make his safety your everday thought im not saying don't worry just keep it in the back of your mind...send him packages,letters,etc...i missed my daughters birth last deployment and the first year of her life...now shes pregnant again and i will be deployed again begining of 09 so looks like im gonna miss the birth again...its hard i tell you...but if we made it through all we have i know you can to just have faith...  

Answer 4

First thing you want to do is put your big girl panties on and think of how proud and lucky you must be to be engaged to a Hero. Second, go to these sites and network with all the other proud and lucky women. Who knows, you might be able to help someone else get though her deployment.

And since close counts in horseshoes and dancing, in this case it'll count for being a fiancée.

The Military Wife

The good Lord was creating a model for military

wives and was into his sixth day of overtime when an

angel appeared. She said, "Lord, you seem to be

having a lot of trouble with this one. What's the

matter with the standard model?"

The Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this

order? She has to be completely independent, possess

the qualities of both father and mother, be a perfect

hostess to four or fourty with an hour's notice, run on

black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable

without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully,

even if she's pregnant and has the flu, and she must

be willing to move 10 times in 17 years. And oh, yes,

she must have six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head. "Six pairs of hands? No way."

The Lord continued, "Don't worry, we will make

other military wives to help her. And we will give her

an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride

in her husbands achievements, sustain the pain of

separations, beat soundly when its over-worked and

tired, and be large enough to say, 'I understand,'

when she doesn't, and to say 'I love you,' regardless."

The angel circled the model of the military wife,

looked at it closely and sighed, "It looks fine, but it's

too soft."

"She might look soft," replied the Lord, "but she has

the strength of a lion. You would not beleive what

she can endure."

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across

the cheek of the Lord's creation. "There's a leak," she

announced. "Something is wrong with the

construction. I am not surprised that it has cracked.

You are trying to put too much into this model."

The Lord appeared offended at the angel's lack of

confidence. "What you see is not a leak," he said.

"It's a tear."

"A tear? What is it there for?" asked the angel.

The Lord replied, "It's for joy, sadness, pain,

disappointment, loneliness, pride, and a dedication to

all the values that she and her husband hold dear."

"You are a genius!" exclaimed the angel.

The Lord looked puzzled and replied, "I didn't put it

there."

Author Unknown