How can i deal with my annoying boss?

Question

I have a work-study job. I've been there for about a year and I really like it, but my boss is starting to really get on my nerves. Sometimes, I hate being at work (it's an office environment by the way) and it started to show in my face and attitude a little, but I did correct it. The only thing is that my boss told our co-worker, the assistant secretary, when i was out of the room. She is a very two-faced person, that is notorious on campus, and in our department for being difficult. She often gets in arguments with the faculty, and is kind of unpleasant to be around unless you suck up to her. She is fakely religious..with 25 crosses hanging on her office wall, but will gossip for days behind people's backs. I get annoyed by her constant negativity to the point that i hate being at work sometimes, but the job is easy and I like the real boss, the dean of the department. I have tried to hide my dislike for her, but it doesn't always work...she's an attention craver and immature for a 60-something year old. what else can i do, or keep in mind while i am at work? Quitting is not an option (at least for this semester) Thank you! Just looking for words of encouragement.

Answer 1

It might help to remind yourself that everyone else feels the same way about her, so you shouldn't feel too guilty about your feelings.

Perhaps you could be direct with her, the next time she is blatantly negative - maybe something like 'when you say negative things like XYZ, I feel depressed & unhappy at work'.

I note you said its hard to hide your dislike ... so I think its important to confront the matter head on, as leaving it might have you both ending up in a 'she said .... but she did it first ... ' etc., argument, which the Dean will have to counsel you both.  So refrain from making it personal or too general, as in 'you're always negative about everything' or 'you're making me depressed'.  It will only give her points to argue with - eg: 'I'm not ALWAYS negative', or 'I don't MAKE you anything'.  The 'when you do/say yadayada, I feel blabla' is a classic conflict resolution statement, taught as common practice in counselling, etc.  At least if you use something like this, & she makes a complaint, or a scene, you can talk to the Dean & explain that you tried to resolve it professionally & in a non-threatening way.  If the Dean is across good personnel management practice (or just has any common sense), you'll not be seen as the one with the problem.

If she is immature, then being seen to rise above the pettiness, & attempting to resolve things like an adult, will give you the upper hand on her.  

After 20 years in the workforce, I am still learning how to deal with people that drive me nuts.  We all have a type that annoys us ... my particular bugbear is what I call the 'strutters', you know, the type that have to tell everyone what they know all the time about everything, & of course they always know more than you ever could, or the boss, or the CEO ... they've got all the answers & everyone else is doing it wrong, etcetc.  They can make life at work a really miserable existence.  But for everyone of those people I come across, I come across 5 good others & it helps me remember to self-check & ensure that my behaviour at work doesn't make things miserable for others.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Smile often!

Answer 3

You sound fine. Its horrible to have to deal with that negativity every day. Some people are just so unhappy in their own lives that the only way they can see to feel better is to make other people feel bad. they are too stupid to realise that they have to change their lives and build their self esteem and that slagging other people off is just a temporary high.

And they go their whole lives like that. Imagine that. Uck.

My supervisor is like that. The only thing you can do it practise not letting her get to you. Make sure you are really busy outside work doing fun cool things so you do not blow it out of proportion. And don't forget to stand up for yourself if it comes down to it. Just do it in a polite professional way. Lets face it its not like you want her to chat with you anyway so you have nothing to lose. Anyone who sides with her is a loser too so you know to watch out for them. I guess its what we feel we can put up with.

Eventually you may find she is bringing you down to the point that you don't want to work in that kind of atmosphere. Good luck. She won't leave. Trust me on that. This job is probably her whole life.

Answer 4

She sounds old fashioned and trust me, nothing will change her - just close your eyes take deep breaths and hope that you don't age like she did LOL

Answer 5

you should prolly go to the boss you like and ask for advice

ask for a meeting with him, tell him that you are uncomfortable with the way she is acting and you would like advice on how to best approach her... you are saying that she is acting immature so you need to act very professionally when doing this.. go in with a list of things that are bothering you and state them as diplomatically as possible... this might also open his eyes to what is going on and he could back you up if this turns into a problem... if you are still uncomfortable approaching her directly, ask him to set up a meeting with all of you...but if the company does not have an open door policy, you need to watch what you say... good luck

Answer 6

well..i normally use life experience to ansewer these situational problem questions....but i only ever had one boss that i didn't like... he was an old friend of mine, and well, i lost my Patience and punched him in the throat..... you could try that?...no?..ok, probably a good idea.

Answer 7

start playing pranks on her, you'll feel better and if everyone else feels the way you do they will too, just make sure not to get caught

Answer 8

Yes - ma'am....  No - ma'am....  Yes - thank you.  

That's how you deal with these people.  Do what your job is and do it well.  Don't contribute to her gossip or repeat it.  Listen to what she is telling you to do, not how she is telling you.

Listen - you are going to have these people at every work.  In fact, you may be working for many of them for many years.  This is a perfect opportunity to get used to these negative people....

The fact is, you can't change this person.  The fact is, you can't tell your boss to punish her and still come out ahead.  You are not her equal.  Unless she is breaking the law or office rules in very obvious way, there is no way to escape it other than changing jobs.  Even then, you will run into another face just like this.

Good luck - you will get used to this and learn to ignore all the garbage.  That is one of the office skills that your classes never teach you.

Answer 9

you know, I hear what you're saying. but at her age (60something) she's likely bored at home or lacks the attention she needs from her hubby. her gossiping at work is more than likely a way to feel important.

just ignore it. hard I know, trust me I worked as a ccktail waitress in a casino for 9 yrs, boy oh boy do I know how annoying gossip can be! but you just gotta learn to let it roll off your back.

Answer 10

How long has this 60-something woman worked at this university?  Has she always been in this department, or does she get moved around every few years?

Oh...and is this a state-funded university or is it a private college?

If you work at a state-funded university and this woman is therefore a state employee, she's going to be next to impossible to fire.  And she knows it.  I can promise you that the dean already knows that she's an immature gossip who spews negativity with every breath, so your telling him isn't bringing anything new to his attention.

If she's been at the university a long time, chances are nobody really likes her and she gets shuffled off to a new department every few years, when one department gets tired of dealing with her.  She'll have personnel reports out the wazoo that let each new dean know what she's like and why the previous department couldn't wait to get rid of her.

Or she could have been in that department forever.  She truly does have a lot more information in her head than most others realize.  She doesn't SHARE that information, because it's her job security.

Anyway, the best you can do is ignore her.  If she makes a big deal out of getting your attention, just say you were really focused on what you were working on.  If she wants your attention because she wants to gossip, excuse yourself and go to the restroom.  Go get a soda.  Walk away for a minute or two.  That will break her chain of thought and maybe by the time you come back, someone else will have asked her to do something.

And when she starts with the negativity, the best thing you can do is tell her, "I am so sorry that makes you unhappy.  I am so sorry that so-and-so's behaviour distresses you.  I am so sorry that such-and-such policy seems unreasonable/silly/outrageous.  Have you discussed any of this with the dean or with Human Resources (or with whoever is available to talk to disgruntled employees)?"  Then go back to your job and let her words slide off your back.  You won't be there much longer.

Answer 11

Get some raw chicken cutlets and leave them in her desk drawers on a Friday morning... by Monday she'll be in stink heaven --- ewe.