How can i explain to my 4 year old daughter that im depressed?

Question

my husband quit his job and we are having some money problems, which has made me depressed. I cant concentrate on anything and I have been living worried for a week now. we are both looking for jobs but my question is... my daughter wants to know why I don't feel like playing with her. it makes me feel really bad but i just cant bring myself to do it.

no crule answers please, i am a good mom. I am just going through a really hard time right now. How can i explain to her im having trouble copeing right now?

Answer 1

Wow... that's a tough situation you're in. Since your daughter is asking what's wrong, you could talk to her and explain that you're going through a tough time and so is Daddy but that doesn't change how much I love you.

Have you thought about seeing a counselor? Maybe some playgroups to help you cope and allow your daughter some interaction while you're going through a rough period?

She will ask why- just reassure her that you're going to be okay. If you can find the strength to have some one on one time with her, she'll feel better about the situation. At that age they may think its them when its really not.

Good luck and I hope you feel better.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, I don't think many 4 year olds will understand depression.  And depending on what you say, they may try to "fix it," and while it's sweet, it might make you feel worse.  My Mom suffers from depression, has for many years now, and still don't know how to act or what to say when it's bad.

Perhaps just a simple, "Mommy's very sad right now, but she loves you very much."  Arrange for a neighbor, family member or friend to take her out to play at the park.  You can go along, get some fresh air and a change of scenery.  You don't have to play or do anything.  Tell her that being outside helps you not be so sad and that you like to see her play with Aunty or friend or whomever.

When things turn for the better, you can play with her.  I feel for you, really, I do.

Answer 3

well good mom

for sure your toddler is not going to understand  and playing with her for a few hrs is not going to cause a huge loss to you also

everybody has their ups and downs but the best are those

who endure :)

as mom during your 9 months of pregnancy you would have endured a lot more difficulty than the present scenario

think on that and then  draw strength from it and make your daughter happy , play with her as usual

its hard but then the best things dont come hard

a toddler needs your support , suppose if you were to create a bad impression now , then the amt of hurt in the childs heart will be too much and you know it

Answer 4

I totally understand what you are going through.  I have suffered from depression for years with ups and downs.  With a child, it makes it very difficult, but it is possible to make it. .  She won't understand depression, so don't put that on her.  If she finds you crying, just tell her that you are sad, but that a hug from her will help...   The problem is that children think everything is their fault.  If you don't find a way to play with her, she will internalize it and feel horrible about it.  I know, it's hard, but find a way to play just a little.  Do activities that don't take a lot out of you...laying on the floor playing dolls, playing with play-doh or coloring.  Set the timer for 20 minutes and tell her that after this, you need some quiet time.  Do this every hour.  I know it's alot, but it's sooooo important.  Also, call someone to help you during this time...a minister is a good place to start.  Call some relatives or friends to see if they can help.  Whatever you do, don't distance yourself from them, because you really need them now.  Depression is hard for people to understand, and I know if feels like you can't do anything right now, but you have to for your daughter.  Reach out for help.  Good Luck.

Answer 5

eek hard to answer.

i hope you feel better.

Mommy is tired, or sad because daddy needs a new job? Nothing really sounds good. i hope u find an answer.

Answer 6

Just tell her you don't feel well right now and that you will be better soon, that way she will understand (in a way) and will not worry.

Answer 7

I think if I were in your position, I'd try to sugar coat it as much as possible for the sake of your daughter.  She's only four and would have no way of understanding what you're going through and it may do more harm than good by being so honest about what you're going through with her.  Just tell her you're not feeling well but as soon as you get better, you guys will play alot.  I realize how hard it is trying to make ends meet these days, especially considering your husband has quit his job but try to remember that money problems are a temporary thing but your relationship with your daughter will last forever.  Try to keep your head up and keep things in perspective.  Just know that no matter how hard times can be that things will always work out in the end and that along the way you've got a precious little girl who's looking up to you for guidance.  Try playing with her and keeping things just like normal, it may make you feel better in the end.  Good luck and hope I things work out.

Answer 8

Just explain that Mommy doesn't feel well right now, that should be enough for a four year old  :)

Answer 9

Just tell her that Mommy doesn't feel well, but not to worry because Mommy's going to be okay and will get better (even if you don't feel that way right now, you probably will once things pick up for you and your family)

I wish you and your family the best and hope things get better for you very quickly.