How can i get a foster family for a new born baby because i'm not ready to take care of the baby?

Question

I'm 18 year-old female. I'm 7 months pregnant. My parents don't know about it. So does my boyfriend's family. Because we're too young and still studying in college, we don't think that we're capable of taking care of the baby but we do care about the child's future. We're also trying to hide this problem from our parents as best as we can. This is because we know that it would be very very unsettling for them. We both have already

unsettled them for quite few times as both of us do drugs. We want the baby to have a good life and a good family. Please help us. Thank You

Answer 1

ou need to involve your parents...put the baby up for adoption and move on if you aren't ready to be a Mother...hiding a situation like this is not good...they will find out sooner or later, so you are better to tell the truth right away.

Answer 2

First what state are you in? have you been to the dr?

If you go to the local health and human servives you can get assistance. If you have an extra dependant, it eill help you get federal financial aid for school and you can even get free babysitting to go to school and many times gas money and fod stamps. You're not without option. For all you know you parents may not be able to see their grandbaby go and will be there for you. A new baby changes EVERYTHING. Look at all of your options. There are womens centers who will gve you carseats, crib, stroller and baby clothes.

Good luck.

Answer 3

definitely talk to your parents. and make it very soon. You can always find an adoptive family.

Answer 4

When I was pregnant with my son, at 17, a very close friend was pregnant as well. She didn't tell a soul and placed her son in an open adoption. Now, 13 years later, she has had to confess what she did to her family. Her Mother was mortified. No matter how badly you think you have behaved or how angry you think your parents will be please remember this... They are your parents, they love you, they want what is best for you and NOTHING will change that. Not drugs, booze, a police record and certainly not a baby. This is their grandchild, they may very well want to welcome the new addition with open arms.

How broken would you feel if you found out ten years from now that your parents not only would have helped you but would have been happy to do so?

Answer 5

well, i would suggest telling your friends [if they want a baby, theyd have the perfect chance since you want to give her/him away] or, tell people around your neighborhood. i do suggest that you tell your parents though, because they ought to know. they probably won't be mad, but they have the right to hear whats happening. maybe they could help find a better family for the baby!

Answer 6

Andraya is so right with her advice. My bdaughter was a secret from all but 6 people, so when I found her (she was 29) I had to confess. It was hard, they said we would have helped you. So think about the long term affects on your baby and the lie you will have to live and not just about you.

Answer 7

Are you getting the proper care for your child, meaning doing pre-natal visits to the doctors? Also I really encourage you to tell your parents, I know you are afraid but, your parents may want to step in and help you with the child.

Answer 8

You either need to decide if you want to parent this child - or not.

It's too late to put things on hold until your life is in the right 'space'.

Stand up for this child - and take action.

Tell your parents (they will be mortified if they find out down the track if you did not tell them) - and take responsibility for your actions.

How do you think this child will feel down the track when you didn't fight to keep him/her???

I'm an adoptee - and I can tell you it hurts like h**l.

You can put college on hold & you can find people to help you.

This is your child.

Stand up for your child - and do the right thing - and fight to keep him/her within the family it belongs in - your own.

Answer 9

You can talk to someone at an agency or try to find a home for the baby. I know that we were asked by the birth mom of our daughter to adopt her. So, if you know someone that would like to adopt the baby or go through an agency.  Just make sure this is what you both want. Dont jump the gun if you can take care of her. Talk to your parents and see what they tell you. You might be suprised and they might say they will help you guys out. BUT you do need to tell them and talk to them,

If you would like to talk more you can email me.

[e-mail]

Answer 10

I would say to tell your parents because they may be willing to help you.  Even if you have had problems in the past having a baby does change EVERYTHING!  If you go to the doctor they can't tell anyone, even your parents.  HIPAA laws protect your privacy but if could help the child.  At this point you could learn the gender of your baby and make sure it is healthy.  Social Services are free and can also help you.  You have a lot of choices and you can get free counseling to help you know if adoption is right for you.  If you and the father are not ready then you are not.  It is better to let the baby live and have a chance at having a wonderful life.  Either way you should tell your parents.

Answer 11

You can contact a private adoption agency listed in the phone book under "Adoption".  If you need a good referral, and are not able to find one, you can email me for a contact in your area.

Answer 12

Tell your parents. Yes, it'll unsettle them but it will make things easier in the future. My birth parents didn't tell their families about me until after I was adopted, which made it harder for them to eventually admit it.

If you do go ahead with adoption, get counselling beforehand and try to make sure its not biased. Some will try to pressure you into adoption or keeping the child.

There's a lot to think about with adoption, but remember its rare for someone to give up their child and move on easily.

Good luck

Answer 13

The longer you wait to tell them, the worse it will be. Tell them quickly, so that they can help you.

If you're hoping to put the child in foster care and then come get him/her later, I would advise you to rethink that. Yes, you will be the child's mother, but imagine how confusing that will be to the child, to live in one place for 12 or 18 months (your whole life) and then have to be moved? And there is no guarantee that the foster family will provide quality care (no slam against foster families, but not all are great).

If you're really not ready, put your baby up for adpotion. There are literally thousands of couples who pray every night that God will send a child their way. You could give an incredible gift to your child in the form of a loving family who can't wait to give him the best of everything.

Good luck