How can i get him to help me understand?

Question

My husband and I have been married for 7 months today, and we have been together for almost 4 years.

While we dated, whenever i was on my period he never had a problem making love to me, in fact he insisted most times even when I didnt feel up to it but after a bit i really got into it.

Well literaly over night, 2 months befor the wedding he decides we cant do that anymore. I pushed for an answere for so long and a couple months ago in a fight, he yelled that its disgusting and he only did it to keep me! I dont understand at all, since he is the one who insised on it to begin with! He claims that other "normal" couples dont do it! But i remind him "honey, since when are we normal?" when i reminded him of that he just got quiet and said he just doesnt have an answere.

Now when i am on my period, he insist i pleasure him to "get him by" till im off, yet i dont get anything anymore when throughout our dating relationship, i basically was conditioned for it now im getting cut off. What can i do to either help him return to how he was, or get him to help me understand why he is doing this? I feel disgusting, unwanted, unsexy, and like there is something horribly wrong with me

Im 19, going ot be 20 in October and he is 20. We dont have kids and for awhile i thought that was the reason, a period is a reminder of pregnancy failure, but he insist its not the reason...help me

Answer 1

grab him and rape him...that'll work....

Answer 2

LMAO, now you know how we feel! Welcome to the woderful mystery we call marriage.

Besides...  it is gross, you should respect him for being able to control himself and not enter that bloody mess. He's a man not a pig.

Answer 3

Well something similar happened to me. We have s*x whenever including periods too. One day he got totally grossed out by it and i was naturally shocked my his response as all of a sudden he didn't want me then. I spoke to him about it and he said it was just that 1 time and now we ok but when it's my period i warn him just in case he flips out again. Don't really know how u gonna make him confess what's on his mind.

Answer 4

Your husband already told you why, "he did it because he was trying to win you". Although he was not being totally honest with you, by leaving out that he did it because passion was at its peak back then. People change, and he probably cannot find it in him to do it anymore. It is not healthy and good hygiene anyway.  

Answer 5

wow you must be on your period for long periods of times. What about when your not on your period.

Answer 6

I dont like going there during that time period either. Its kind of gross to me & I'm no kid.

Answer 7

I'm not sure what is normal or not but I do know that we don't have s*x when I'm on my period. We never have. Personally, I think it's disgusting because I don't feel like myself and he knows that. Of course, there's also the mess.

To each their own though.

Hope all works out!

Answer 8

you are nasty it is that simple. You are lucky he wants to have s*x with you at all. gross. get over it. he does'nt want to have s*x with you when  U are on the rag cuz it is GROSS! Most people DO NOT have s*x on the rag so move on!.

Answer 9

When first together, all day, everyday.. over time, I agree, in my opinion it is disgusting  . He doesn`t love you less, some men just get grossed out by it. As to you servicing him while you wait to finish, that is a personal choice you have to make. If you don`t, then.... who might? I don`t agree with his statement, but it is something to think about.

Answer 10

Well, I'm not sure if what I'm about to say is going to resolve anything for you but maybe it will give some insight.

I'm an Orthodox Jew and in my religion the man and woman do not touch while a woman is menstruating. It is considered unclean. A woman's body is releasing the blood and unfertilized egg, and is essentially cleaning the system out. It's a bit disgusting. After the period is over, we wait for 4 days and make sure that we are clean and then we go to a ritual bath, after which we resume husband/wife relations. Now, here's the catcher... men and women don't touch sexually during this time.. so if you don't get any he doesn't get any.. lol

Your husband may have put the idea of having s*x during your period behind him for the time being because he really did want to keep you interested even if he didn't like it. He values you and wanted to make a life with you because of your personality and it went beyond the physical. Now, he wants to do the right thing, wait until the cycle is over because it's in his mind that during this time it is not right.

Maybe you could let him know when it begins, heavy bleeding, and then right when it ends, so he will know it is okay again and you can resume the relations faster. :)

Answer 11

well i guess me and my husband aren't normal, lol. anyway maybe his friends said something to him like it was gross or something like that and made him embarrassed to do it. and tell him to use a condom when it is that time.  

Answer 12

First, you're too young to be married.  Secondly the two of you are too young to form an adult bond.  And thirdly, don't have any children.... it will be the final wedge.

If you two can't get thru this little  one, how would you ever get thru a shrieking kid, demanding more of both of you and neither of you have any more to give....??????????????

Nope, do some growing up.  And if your marriage survives past each of you being 26 and each with a college degree, I'd truly be shocked.

Answer 13

Is this seriously all you two can find to argue about?

lmao

Answer 14

we don't make love when I have my period either. I personally find it kind of gross and I don't particularly feel too s**y during those days; however I have no problem making sure my husband is satisfied in another way if need be.  

Answer 15

from time to time my husband and i will have s*x during either the beginning or ending stages of my period when my flow is lighter and not as messy, but we do it in the shower. if your husband can't go 5 days without s*x, then he has some intimacy issues. It's probably not even your period that is causing the problems, right around my husbands and my first year anniversary, he started having "oh ****, this is the only women i'll ever have s*x with again" issues. We got over that, of course. My recommendation, pleasure yourself during your period if your conditioned to it, and when he "insists" that you pleasure him, recommend he go and get himself off. You should never feel pressured in to satisfying him sexually. and you're not gross and disgusting and unsexy ... ALL women are on their periods at sometime, you're no different. Give him his space, don't talk about it, i'm sure this will pass. most things do ...