How can i get my hubby to listen?

Question

he an di have been together for 5 yrs we have 2 kids with another on the way. for 4 of the 5 yrs we been together we had taken in a mentally unstable person (his friend) and dealing with this guys issues has caused major stress on my hubby and i. it had caused him so much stress that he he stopped taking care of himself and eating unhealthy and that has caused him to get angina (heart conditon also it runs in his family). well i am really scared for him he could at any time have a heart attakc or even a fatal heart attack. he was diagnosed withthis about 2 years ago and has not changed his daily routine. he sleeps any wheres between 9 -14 hours straight wakes up eats junk sits on his computer and "works" then leaves to go "work" some more at the club comes home and repeats. i tell him that he needs to start eating something besides cereal and mac n cheese and he needs to start exercising some. he wont listen to me and i dotn even talk to him about this maybe once in a blue moon. i tell him i am scared and that he wont be here to see our kids grow up to have kids. is that just too much to askof him. how can get him to relize that this disease is serious and he shouldn be taking better care of himself?

Answer 1

I would cut down on buying junk food, substituting all white products with brown products, introduce tuna, salads, vegies, plenty of fresh fruit [apples in particular if he has a sweet tooth], take-away once a week [his choice]. It will be a detoxification process and he will exhibit mood swings as sugar, emulsifiers, preservatives and fatty things are taken out of his diet suddenly.

Put your foot down and state you are all going out for a walk each evening or 3 times per week; if he wont join you, go yourselves.

Ask him to change jobs as I believe it is the club hours causing the problem; meals available that are fatty/high in cholesterol perhaps. As he is obviously computer savvy there would be many alternative jobs/positions during the day to suit him and in all probability; more family suitable and better pay.

If he refuses to change his habits risking his health, I would start working part-time in order for you to have stability in the event something happens health-wise for the worse.

Ensure his super is paid in the event of a massive heart attack and his "Will" done also. It sounds cold and heartless, however, realistic in view of the fact you both have three children to support through their lives.

Buying a mountain bike is excellent and he cld ride that while you are all walking; bike riding is addictive during the warmer months too after getting on them for the first few weeks.

Answer 2

Make an appointment with him.  Set a time and place for the two of you, that is convenient for both.   Do this in a comfortable place, without distractions or interference.  Let him know ahead of time, that you want to have an open and honest communication about the two of you, your children and your relationship.  Set the ground rules, let him know this is not a contest about who is right or wrong, it's about sharing.  Each of you must be willing and able, to express your individual thoughts, feelings and perceptions without recrimination.

If you can accomplish this, you may have a chance at resolving some issues.  Seeking the help of a third party, such as a Professional counselor or Clergy person can help, but only if both of you are willing.  If you wait to long to start the process, the situation could become to toxic and to broken to repair.  You owe it to Yourselves and Your Children, to do something now.  

Good Luck and God's Speed    

Answer 3

Hey he will learn from example and if you stop nagging and just get out there and doing your own thing he will eventually think hey I have to get healthy to just be able to keep up to her...Try to not be around when he is being dysfunctional or leave the room....go do something healthy....get Men's Fitness mags and read them yourself...if he initiates anything sexual that is when you can explain you aren't turned on or are worried he might have a heart attack.....unfortunately we can only change ourselves.....

Answer 4

Is he doing drugs?  If he is working in a club he has a drug or alcohol issue. I worked in nightclubs in my past and quit because my health was failing. I entered treatment and today I am healthier and although life is not always perfect it is better.

Answer 5

Look deep into his eyes,( lovingly of course) and say " I'm really going to miss you when you're gone". If he asked what you are talking about then let him know that he is killing himself.