How can i get my husband to help me CLEAN!?!?

Question

also, i am currently on a cleaning strike. there is about 4 days worth of dishes in the sink...of wish 3 cups may be mine. i'm not touching them.

Answer 1

Yeah the paper plates is what we do a lot around here to cut down on dishes because of the lack of help I get. I work full time as a RN, am going to school and have two kids. My husband doesn't help either, I have to directly ask him to do something and then he'll get around to it the next day maybe and I have to keep reminding him. I think men just don't think keeping a clean house is that important as we women do. I told him we are going to end up hiring a maid ( that he'll pay for) if he doesn't start to be more helpful. Good luck.  

Answer 2

s*x for chores is the basic principle of behavior modification. It's all about rewarding desired behavior and making the undesired behavior unpleasant. Take what you're doing up a notch.  For example, do you buy the shampoo, toothpaste, toilet paper, etc?  What if when he goes to take a shower there is no shampoo? What if there isn't anything for dinner except pb&j sandwiches because you didn't have time to go to the grocery store. Your idea of clean and his are not the same. If he need one clean glass and there's a dirty one, he's fine with cleaning the one glass that he needs. Once his basic needs are not being met, he'll break. The secret is though when he does not to get angry and yell. Take his "what's the big deal?" approach. Yeah I know it sucks! That's what I've been complaining about for the past month.  I meant to buy toilet paper but I've been so busy. I asked you to get some the other day on your way home from work and you said you would. Didn't you?

When he does do something, even if it's changing the toilet paper roll become very affectionate/appreciative.

Answer 3

remind him that it is his home too and he's a big boy and it is his responsibility to clean up after himself.  remind him that you are his wife and NOT his mother and it's not your job to pick up after him like a small child.

if that doesn't work then hire someone to come in a clean.  Tell him since he's not doing his fair share of the housework that you have to bring in outside help.

Answer 4

Tell him to clean or he won't get what he wants. We all know what that is.

lt's a desperate move by desperate housewives.

Answer 5

Tell him the next time you have to pick up after him, you're going to start throwing his **** away. Then do it. If he values it, he'll dig it out from the trash can.  

Answer 6

Men are pathetic..

goodluck..

Answer 7

Well nagging is the answer or maybe you should just let things run like they have been and let everything be diasater.  He will soon realize that things are not growing hands and feet and they will not clean themselves.  I would do your own laundry etc and let him fend for himself.  he will need clean clothes etc. sometime and then he will get off his lazy butt and do it himself.  Or maybe he will hire a maid?  Would'nt that be nice.

Answer 8

After reading all you have tried, it's safe to say the guy isn't going to change.

Answer 9

Get to the bottom of the problem. Why he doesn't want to help? Nobody likes to live in filth. Does he think it's a woman's job to clean? He has a low threshold of what he considers 'dirty'. Is he just immature and in need of wife-cleaning lady-mommy or he doesn't think cleaning is a man's job? Is he just lazy?

Answer 10

stop cleaning completely. don't do dishes, don't do laundry and don't pick up after him

Then call his mother and invite her to visit.  When she gets there ask her why she raised such a lazy slob and then request she teach her son to clean

Answer 11

No help you clean, no s*x.  

Answer 12

I can't help you with anything here..my girlfriend won't let me clean,it's very strange.I cook EVERYTHING,she doesn't cook.she cleans EVERYTHING and doesn't let me,it's weird cause I like cleaning up instantly after a mess like that.

I think this problem  goes beyond cleaning.

Answer 13

Am a man but i must say your man is selfish,he doest want to help him knowing you going to school,work in he know you gotta study?you dont have to remind him  that you not his mother he knows that by the way wat kind of mess is that clothes in the hallway for a month...first i must say am not a messy guy or neat guy but i do just fine when my wife complains about all my work clothes being everywhere i just clean it up cause i made the mess just like if am home all day in she at work i cook i dont except her to come from work in cook for me your man need to grow up by the way  disposable plates in cup are the best...regarding the s*x thing only your know what best for your relationship but all am saying is as a man i would not put up with it just like i dont except my wife to put up with certains thing....remember relationship is about compromisingin respect by the way i gotta go cook...best of luck GET ON YOU KNEES IN PRAY FOR GUIDANCE IN DIRECTION......GOD BLESS

Answer 14

if his mama never ask him to clean then you are not going to get him to do any thing so yes use paper & plastic and don't get mad one day he will learn and please do enjoy s*x because when you stop giving it up then your problem will be bigger then just not cleaning the house .  

Answer 15

You can't. Hind site is always 20/20, but did he ever clean his place up

before you married him? Chances are no he did not.

I finally had to leave my husband as I was working full time while he had a ball doing what he wanted to do. Same thing w/ex bf, extremely filthy, and I was not going to do the work there.  

I say you have one shot left before you walk, or he is made to walk. Tell him he has to pay for a maid service to come in 2-3 times a week.

If he's not willing to do the work, or pay to have it done you know what you have to do.

My ex husband did get maid service after I left just you know where YOU stand.

Answer 16

First of all.....it's not helping you.

He lives there too so he should be doing his part to keep the home he lives in livable.

Explain to him the meaning of a responsible man vs a carefree little boy.

If he still doesn't get it.....never have children with him because you'll be more overwhelmed than you are now.

I would suggest going to a marriage counselor with or without him.

Answer 17

It's a women's job!

Answer 18

You can't make him do anything, just like he can't make you do anything.  The only thing you can do is ask him to help you.  Tell him if he doesn't help that you will hire a maid and he will have to pay for it!!  

Answer 19

use reverse phycology

for example don't do his laundry dont clean up after him

only clean up after yourself soon he will realize that something is up and he will start cleaning

men can be like dogs

once you train then there good

Answer 20

He's not supposed to help you. Cleaning is a woman's job so stop nagging him

Answer 21

stop. do your own laundry. wash a dish when you need it. tell him when he gets annoyed that you are more than happy to do his laundry too and clean dishes for him as long as he will also help you.  boycott cleaning for a little while!

Answer 22

Honestly ... BJs my wife does this on me and I can assure you it works .... and if you are already giving him them .... cut him off until he starts helping out more

Edit:

Wow you are a lucky woman if he doesn't like them lol ... maybe just break down and cry ... I think that would work on me too

Answer 23

With my husband, I thought that if he saw the mess himself, he would realize he needs to clean it!  But my husband can be lazy at times.

What works best for me, is to tell him exactly what I need him to do, to help me clean the house.

He loves that, because then he won't have to try and read my mind (we don't have the same tolerance level for uncleanliness), and he just makes sure he gets it out of the way so he can get onto doing what he wants in his free time.  That way I'm happy, he's happy, and we have a clean house.

It can be annoying to have to tell him to do things, but it isn't a big deal, and it gets things done.

Edit: Doesn't sound like just telling him will help... but maybe designate a day?  Like every Saturday afternoon, or Sunday, whatever works for you guys, make that chore day (to get the main stuff done).  That way he can't just do a couple things and wander off, but actually FINISH his part (even have him compromise with you on what chores he wants to do).  If he's not willing to help, or compromise, or do any sort of help... I don't know... he must be a horrible person to live with, let alone be married too...