How can i get my man to be aggressive and dominate me in the bedroom?

Question

For some reason i feel the need to be aggressively dominated!

I've been with the same man for 10 years now and it's not getting anywhere.. He is very feminine and soft and old fashion, still gives me them sad puppy virgin eyes when we are engaging s*x. totally puts me off the mood. Actually to be honest its sending my s*x drive down the toilet!! Any tips on how or stories i can get him to read on how to become very aggressive and dominate?

Answer 1

get on bottom or bend over a table or something and say "**** me as hard you can"  if that doesnt work, just say "when we have s*x can you treat me less respectful? we could experience something new" dont be mean about it tho because it may turn HIM off.

PLEASE answer my most recent!?

Answer 2

Better to get something on the side. Then you wont have to work for it, it will just be that way naturally.  

Answer 3

Watch some domination p**n with him and tell him what you like.

Answer 4

Rent some p**n DVD's and tell him the parts you like.

Answer 5

Maybe you should try some foreplay? like "ooh i've been a bad girl, i need a spanking" or something like that... just improvise, use your imagination

Answer 6

I am that type of guy, like your husband.  I felt like I was degrading my wife when being rough with her. You really need to tell him when you like it rough (and that it doesn't offend you), if he is very catering to you, he probably will respond better.  Maybe have a code word, like talking really dirty, then he will kick in.  

Women are tricky because if he was "always" rough you would hate that too.  Lots of women expect guys to read their minds, and honestly that is impossible for 99% of guys.  Sometimes I think the "mind reading game" is just an excuse to have more drama in a relationship to make it interesting in a sadomasochistic way...

I think alot of guys are scared to be rough because women are really hung up on being offended very easily, and if he is rough, you might call him at best a male chauvinist or at worst a rapist.

Answer 7

wile you are having s*x tell him to spank you hard and see what happens from there  

Answer 8

m********e someplace where he'll see you (like in the living room before he gets there) and dont stop when he sees you.

Look out, it'll drive him nuts.

Answer 9

Have you talked to him about this? If not then maybe he thinks you like it soft, etc.  

Answer 10

Talk to him about it and tell him what you want. He will respond.

Answer 11

tell him that is what you want

Answer 12

You have to tell him.

Tell him you want him to playact as a p**n star in bed. And that you want him to do everything your "direct" him to do.

And speak incredibly dirty to him.

Answer 13

Why don't you write a story with the 2 of you starring in it and send it to him?  If you aren't comfortable with that then start off sending little notes (I can't wait to get you nekkid tonight!!!) and gradually get more explicit if he seems receptive.

Answer 14

you can be sure if he started off aggressive and dominate I don't think that you would have liked it too much either.  It is hard for a guy to understand what women want at different times you will need to tell him that it is okay to be a little aggressive and dominate.   He probably does not want you to feel disrespected.  if just takes you in the room without words and pulls down his pants and pushes you to your knees and tell you to give him a bj now.......he is probably worried that you might feel used or disrespected.    talk to him about it.  he sound like he is really into you and you should appreciate that....let him know.

Answer 15

TELL HIM

EXPLAIN to him what you want him to do

if he has hangups and issues with it....well suggest counseling....or make him wear an eye mask

if that doesnt work - ask him if you can demonstrate on HIM what you want done to you.....maybe that could turn him on....

also, start reading savage love by dan savage, advice column - google it -  

Answer 16

Buy a toy or such that you would like. Something like one of those leather paddles. Get naked, hand the paddle to him and tell him to use it. He may just spank the cr*p out of you. My guess is you will have to tell him "HARDER"

Answer 17

what derrick said is entirely true

Answer 18

You have to tell him what you want, what turns you on.  Be direct with him.  Be nice about it and understanding.  He needs to know it is okay with you, and that you will let him know gently if he goes overboard.  What turns him on?  Maybe you need to engage in some play with another woman, and you be the dominant one to show him what you want, how you want it.

Also talking dirty to him while fingering yourself in front of him or while using a toy will help bring him out of his shell.

Answer 19

tell him  

Answer 20

Get him to play Tarzan and Jane but explain that he is Tarzan. If he doesn't get the message give me a bell.

Answer 21

search the stories on literotica.com for things that turn you on. share them with your hubby. but the best thing you can do is talk to him and tell him what you want. if youve been married 10 years and cant communicate with him then why are you married to him?

Answer 22

Communication is the key to any good relationship. Talk to your husband. Who knows, he might think that you enjoy it the way it is while you suffer from it. Mind reading should be avoided in a relationship. Your man may surprise you after you talk to him. Look honest, sincere and blunt and you may discover a changed man.

Answer 23

tell him about it, tell him to be more domineering, show him some dominance p**n to give him some ideas of what you're wanting.

Answer 24

You have to initiate him, and let him know thats what you want. Hinting isn't going to work because s*x is something very special. If you don't let him know what you want he'll never get the hint.

A good tip, when you get the chance just throw him down, take off everything he has and go all out and just use him as your s*x toy.

Answer 25

You need to talk about role play in bed . Tell him you want to be taken by force and that you do not want him to ask permission ,also come to an agreement on a safety word. If either one uses the word during rough s*x all action stops. Then if you use the word activity resumes. Write a scenario where he comes in and takes you by force and does so and so and so that you know you'll like the action going on. Then you can have him write a scenario of something that he wants you to do . If you do this right and pre-approve each role, you two should have fun for a year until all positions are exhausted.