How can i get my mom to stop gossiping about our new neighbors?

Question

Hi, my family and i just got some new neighbors and my mom doesn't seem to like them. Ever since they moved here, my mom has been extremely mean towards them and gossiping about them. Yesterday, our neighbor's mail got placed in our box and mom withheld them. The problem is that i think they are cool, nice people who haven't disrespected her (yet) and i would like to get to know them better. How can i get her to stop acting so strangely?

Answer 1

sounds like her "grudge" is w/ the HOUSE, no matter who lives there ! Or maybe she enjoys making trouble - many people "love to hate" - (like the many trolls here) TELL HER IT'S RUDE !! And ask what her problem is (what does she say about them) R they g*y or of another race or religion ?

Answer 2

be straight with your mom and tell her exactly what you just told us.

Answer 3

Lead by example.  Bake them some cookies and bring them over.  Tell them you want to make them feel welcome and are glad to help water plants or feed pets while they're away, or baby sit kids if they ever need you.  Your mom doesn't even know these people.  Nothing's sadder than feeling unwelcome in a new home you were so excited about moving into.  Your mom could be missing out on some wonderful friends and you can show her that w/ the outcome of your own more grown up actions.

Answer 4

It is virtually impossible to change the behaviour of other people, especially our parents. However, what we can do is change our own behaviours instead. When your mother starts gossiping about your neighbours, rather than listen to her or engage her by disagreeing, either change the subject or leave the room. There is no need to subject yourself to her disparaging comments. Gossip is like fire, it will die without adequate fuel - don't give her what she needs.

Best Regards,

Holly

Answer 5

Gee your mom sounds like a trouble maker... By chance is the new lady younger,prettier,  have better cars , nicer things  than your mom? The husband make more money than your dad or have a great career. Is the house bigger ? Were the previous residents Younger,prettier , richer???

Not to sound mean but your mom sounds a little envious. However she has had one great success.. That's you !!! You seem like a bright , kind , and decent young lady... Please continue to be nice and decent to people.

As for your mom and her holding their mail.. That's a crime! Just put the mail back in your box and the carrier will take it to your neighbor.

Answer 6

go over to their house tell them all of the things she has sayed about them and maby the will get mad at her and maby she will

stop being mean  

Answer 7

Just keep telling her that she is being mean.

Also remind your mother that withholding someone else's mail is illegal.

Answer 8

Does your mom realize that tampering with someones mail is a federal offense? It sounds like she is being really immature, tell her that she isn't being a really good role model for you.  

Answer 9

Your mom could be holding a grudge, against the previous neighbors. But, I would just either give the gossip no thought, or change the subject when she starts to talk about them. If it really annoys you that you can't bring yourself to do that, then tell her that you don't want to hear her speaking meanly of others. Most parents don't want their kids gossiping, but kids learn from what they see their parents do--and it's nice too see someone who disregards gossip (most don't).

The simplest way to really stop gossip is to not encourage it. Instead of listening, talk about something else (change the subject). If she brings it back up leave the room or change the subject again. If she's gossiping to other people, the simplest thing you can do to stop it is, just let it in one ear and out the other and question where she got her own information. It may make her mad, but gossip is ruder, than doing that could ever be.

Oh and take the mail back to your neighbors. It's a criminal offense to withhold someone else's mail or open it. It could save your mother from a trip to court, and also would show your neighbors that you like them, as well as give you an opportunity to talk to them some more (hand deliver it to them, and return it with a pleasant hello and some conversation).

Answer 10

Your mother should give them a chance and get to know them before judging them.. and she is not allow to withhold mail that is not for her. If the postman by mistake put it in her mailbox it is a criminal act to not either put it in the main postbox again but how much easier to go over.. ring the bell.. introduce oneself to the new neighbours.. say.. this was mistakenly put in my mailbox, it got your name on it.. You just moved in I see, I hope you will like it here. Welcome to the neighbourhood. I am Mrs X... that would be a good way of dealing with the situation. how can one not like someone until one has actually talked to the people.. that is prejudice...you can't change your mom but you can act differently and you can take that mail to the new neighbours.. Your mom has no right to withhold it.. that's criminal. It is not their fault that it ended up in your mom's mailbox...