How can i get my mom to stop smoking in the d**n bathroom?

Question

Cigarette smoke really bothers me, i hate it and my mom stopped smoking in the house and then she started to sneak smoking in the bathroom and i always smell it from upstairs in my room. it's like she doesn't fricken care. When she took me to the hospital cause i got pleurisy i told the doctor she keeps smoking in the bathroom and it bothers me my mom asked the doctor if it was okay and he of course said no it's not. But she does it anyway!

And i always catch her smoking and i get so angry afterwards and i get anxiety cause im so pissed at her. And all she says is "then stay out of my d**n bathroom" she just doesnm't get that the smoke still sits in the air.

Shes really starting to upset me. how can i get her to stop?

Next time i go to the doctors should i just have him convince her to stop.

Answer 1

your mom sounds like a *****, you should tell her to take her lazy *** outside to smoke, and if she doesnt have a talk with your doctor.

Answer 2

Just leave her alone. If you were my kid I'd tell you if you don't like it you can find your own place...oh wait, you can't, she pays all the bills. I'd put you in your place real fast. If I was her I'd fire up in your room!

Answer 3

She is the mom, you are the daughter. You respect her. If my sister and I didn't respect our parents we got the belt.

If I was your mom, I wouldn't hide in the bathroom. I would just smoke right out in the open. She's earned the right to. She pays the bills.

No need for you to exaggerate the whole thing. Like most kids who complain about smoking, you'll probably take it up yourself. So why should she stop because of you?

What is this you catch her? Pardon me, but you catch flies. You catch a cold. You don't catch your mother doing anything. She can catch you, but you don't catch her. That's the benefit of being an adult. Maybe one day you'll be one yourself. All you have to do is hit the right age, and grow up. Sounds simple, but for many it's hard.  

Answer 4

You can't get her to stop.  She can't stop.  She is an addict.

Addicts don't get better without a structured recovery program and many addicts will backslide over and over even then.

She isn't smoking in her bathroom to annoy you (or to make you feel sick) she is smoking in the bathroom DESPITE the fact that it bothers you and makes you feel sick.  Don't you think that makes her feel ashamed?  Don't you think she knows how badly she's failing you?

Ask your mom for a portable air filter (like the ones "The Sharper Image" used to sell...) I bet she'll oblige.

Try, then, to have some compassion.  

Answer 5

Her house her rules her bills that she pays. You probably stress her out leave her alone about it. Do you know how hard it is to raise a teengae daughter go to work, and pay the bills? Just say hey i really dont care if you smoke can you take it outside or hang out a window while you do it.  

Answer 6

your mom acts like a child, selfishly. it's sad that it came to this. she obviously isn't that ignorant, but she's addicted so it won't be easy.

try to tell her gently that she could for example smoke somewhere else (like her bedroom) with the windows open so it won't bother you.

the best thing is to try to make her stop. tell her that this isn't good for her either. there are many associations, and groups who are dedicated to help people like her, ask them what you should do (just google them or look in your area). i'm sure they have shrinks as well.

i think that when a mother doesen't understand that she's hurting her child, she really really needs help. it isn't normal to be this selfish with your own child. with other people maybe, but not your own child. try to ask them what you should do, and how to act around an addicted person.

if nothing can be done, open your own window. the key is to understand why she's doing it, that's how you can find an answer.

if nothing can be done, work on yourself. this stress you're having is making almost as much damage as the smoke itself. try to accept how things are, you don't have to like it, but accept the fact that for a few more years you'll have to deal with it. if you can't breath, just open you window and go out for a walk (or somewhere else in the house) just the time it takes for the smoke to clear.

but i'm sure that she feels bad about it, so maybe all you have to do is try another tactic to reach to her. maybe just be gentler. or less judgemental while talking to her. look for people who deal with addicts all the time to help you out.

good luck

one last thing, i can't believe the things people are saying here. it just isn't OK to treat your child this way. i'm all for compassion, but the fact that she's paying the bills does NOT make it ok for her to poison someone else even her own child. what are you thinking people?? maybe she's paying the bills and raising the child BUT she also made the decision to bring it to the world, didn't she. she has to act responsible.

so as i said before, try to be gentle while talking to her and seek help, or live around it. but never think that what she's doing is normal. i'm really sorry about this. the good thing is that i think she is too, and no mother would turn down the opportunity to make life better for her child if presented with it nicely. as in do not hurt her feelings and always be polite.

this goes with everybody too.