How can i get my one year old to fall asleep in his cot by himself he can only fall asleep in our arms?

Question

when his dad comes in he say's he missed him when he workes so he let s him fall asllep in his arms

sometimes he will fall asleep in his buggy

but i have to hold his hand

i have tried to put him down in his cot

but he will not lie down

hes up straight away no matter how tired he is

ive tried saying nothing and keep putting him down it doesn't work he cries harder

i cant give him a bottle he will not drink it until he is asleep

i do not no what to do

i told my husband this would happen so its our own fault

is there anything that can be done or is it too late ?

Answer 1

It sounds like you may have to try controlled crying but prepare yourself its heartbreaking. Take him to bed say good night and walk out of the room. Leave him for 4 minutes then go back in and calm him down. When he is calm leave again and increase the time to 6 mins, calm him down again then leave for 8 mins. Keep going until he falls asleep ad he will eventually. We had to do this with our eldest, it took us 2 hrs the first night, half hour the second night and 10 mins the third night. It is really really upsetting but worth it in the end. With my next kids I made sure they all went to bed awake from the day they were born so I never had to do it again. Good luck and it will work.

Answer 2

I had the same problem with my son. It was TERRIBLE! We did spoil him and he was a hard one to get into his own bed. He would only fall asleep on daddy's shoulder. SO anywho, we have a ritual and have had a ritual for a couple years. HE gets his bath, gets his jammies on, daddy tells him great bed time stories and then rubs his forehead until he is asleep. You cant give up. He knows that he owns you and you will give in. They will be persistent for a while. You just have to find the ritual that works for your family. A nice bath is always good, songs, stories, something comforting.

Answer 3

Why worry? Enjoy that age while you can. Its idyllic. You can deal with it in 6 or 12 months time. They train within a week at that age. They also change their habits as they grow.

Answer 4

5 minute rule is amazing!!

Let them cry for 5 minutes.. even if its the worse cry ever.. and slowly they will lay down because they are tired and go to sleep

Answer 5

he misses your husband that's why he wants him to hold him. when he holds him until he sleeps don't put him down right away because he may not be fully asleep. or you can just let him cry because he is tired he will cry himself to sleep.

Answer 6

My baby was on oxygen for a long time, so we HAD to put her down asleep in order to attach the canula. She is two and still won't lie down in her bed, but she will go to sleep on the loveseat if I rub her face and sing to her. The thing I've realized is that most kids have a sleep ritual, some more time consuming than others. Don't believe the hype.

At 15months, I found a book that would knock her right out, so I would suggest trying different songs, books etc. And to be honest, I stopped trying to put her in her crib awake a long time ago and it has meant a quieter, more relaxed bedtime.

Answer 7

patience.  put a night light in the room and put him to bed.  no one falls asleep the minute the head hits the pillow, so allow him to self soothe by crying or playing.

Answer 8

No, I believe he's typical, he's used to going to sleep near you, (its because of the oneness of you and your son)at birth, you could try for you to lay down with him beside you on the cot, if he feels you beside him,and if he feel just a piece of you(like your hand), he'll get used to going to sleep in his cot; and after maybe(am not qiute sure how long)a week, he will get used to sleeping in his cot when he is tired, does he have a favorite stuffed animal? A musical toy? That you wind up and put beside him when he sleeps(besides you  "mom")? A musical toy like Night bright would possibly work!Hope this helps,just try this, noone is at fault, really, so take that  off both of your shoulders.

Answer 9

Sorry if this answer has been said but

try to put a night light light in his room and if that doesent work try get a song thing if you know what i mean

Answer 10

mayb u just hav to b a little stern. put him in his room and close the door. leave a light so he wont get scared and eventually he will go to sleep in his own room

Answer 11

I have just gone through the same thing with my 13 month old - I started a week ago Sunday, and by Friday night he was fine and sleeps through the night.

Prepare yourself for a tough week........

Its called 'controlled crying' and I thoroughly disagreed with it until I actually did it.

Make sure your son is totally worn out and put her in her cot (where you know he will immediately stand up and cry). Walk out of the room and occupy yourself for 3 to 5 minutes. Go back to him, pick him up, reassure him and calm him down then leave the room again for 5 to 8 minutes. Repeat the routine, always going back to reassure him but leaving it longer before going back each time. The idea is that he understands that mummy won't abandon him.

If you give in, he will persevere even longer the next time you try it because he knows you are likely to give up first. It may take all night the first time you do it.

You have to be mentally prepared for this, and its tough. A baby only knows what he has been 'taught' so in effect he knows no different.

I understand exactly how you feel, but with a little patience you will get there. You need determination and strength. Good luck!