How can i get my son to help me around the house?

Question

he always plays his video games

i ask him and he says a little bit longer

i really don't want to force him because me and my husband are divorced (recently) and i don't want to have him be depressed

Answer 1

My brothers are the same way. My dad died 2 years ago in a truck accident and my mom and her 2nd husband are going through a separation.

Some good ways that get my brothers to start helping around the house are to make deals with them or to give him rewards if he does do some work.

Answer 2

Life goes on for both you and your son.  He needs to get off the games or he will get depressed anyway.  Does he get an allowance? Maybe you can mark on the calenar on the days that he gets his work done.  If he gets maybe 5 complete marks then he gets his allowance.  Reward the behavior he does that you want him to do.

Answer 3

i agree with the 5 marks a month = allowance

if he wants money he'll have to earn it

i'm glad my parents make me do chores, i think it makes me a better person.

Answer 4

start taking away his games he will not die if he has to do a few chores so don`t worry

Answer 5

so Instead of "raising "  your kid,  coddle him and make sure when he is older he turns out to be another  totaly  useless member of society with NO work ethic Lazy and only gonna do what He decides to do...



Think about it, YOU are afraid to tell him to get  off his rear end,  I bet If You tell him diner will be  "Just a bit longer"   or his clothes Drawer is empty , because  You wanted to do what You wanted to do or worse his own chores,  rather then laundry, or  with no food in the house ,  stop at  the diner and  eat on your way home from work... when he asks about dinner just tell him, You'll go shopping   in Just a little while  when You feel like it .. Its called tough love, and You  had best get your head out of your rear end before  he  is old enough to get his license...

If he has chores and homework, and school and activities   he wouldnt have time to be depressed over  your inability  to keep your marrage together ... The chores arent done?   then the Vid games go away My  Parents  would have  given them to some "needy family"  that would have been it ..  get a clue  My dear .. Honestly You have to instill something in this kid....  Its your job as a parent    

Answer 6

if he is going to be depressed he will be with or without the video games. I catch him before he starts playing the video games... call him over to you bcause you want to tell him something then before he walks away say hey can you take the trash out before ou go to your toom.. thanks!  

Answer 7

you do not know how to hand your child!

dont worry give him -his some nice,tasty food.

Answer 8

mom you are making excuses for him already . what does your divorce have to do with him helping you ? You  take his game away so he wont have an excuse  not to help . If you want to use your marriage as an excuse go ahead however think of his future marriage . What girl is going to put up with him being lazy?  not one.  

Answer 9

Ugh...... THAT'S THE PROBLEM THESE DAYS! Parents are being too soft these days. Well, in that case. Just shut the video game off and say firmly help me clean up. If i watch televison, and my mom says to be what she says, ill do it before i get a butt whopping!

Answer 10

You're still the parent. One thing that works is if you used a "linked" system of privileges (including allowances) and responsibilities. One of my aunts has seven kids, aged 17, 14, 11, 8, 4, 2, and 3 months. The eight-year-old, Emma, was arguing with her parents one day and was complaining about how they give her too many chores and not enough privileges. For the record, her privileges include a $20 per month allowance, watching most PG13 movies, going around the block by herself, and having a 9:00 bedtime; her chores include doing the dishes and her own laundry, cleaning her room, and dusting. My uncle explained that while the 17-year-old can stay up as late as she wants, can watch whatever movie she wants, and gets a $50 per month allowance, she also goes grocery shopping and cleans the toilets and babysits the younger siblings for no extra charge. The four-year-old, on the other hand, hardly has to do anything but feed the dog and pick up her toys, but has a 7:30 bedtime, a $10/mo allowance, and can only watch G and PG. He told her that she could have a later bedtime when she started cleaning the toilets and that he wouldn't have to dust if she was fine with only $10 per month. That settled the issue pretty well. Try this with your kid: with every chore he refuses to do, lower his allowance a little or take away or limit some privilege (such as video game time). If he starts doing a lot of extra work, you can reward his responsibility with a later bedtime or more mature movies (depending on his age.)

Answer 11

Divorced or not, you are the parent! You set the rules. Do not let guilt of a divorce keep you from parenting this boy! he will take advantage very quickly, and it sounds like that's what's he's up to.

Tell him before he can watch tv this chore(s) need to be done. Limit the tv. Let him know that YOU make the rules and he will follow them. If he choose to not follow them, he will lose video game time. Be strong and hold your ground. Don't raise a spoiled disrespectful child, which is where he is headed.

Answer 12

Tell him he just has to do things, period. Give him a time limit on video games, computer, and tv.

Time for you to step up as a parent - he NEEDS the guidelines, he's been through enough with what you put him through with the divorce, now is not the time to let things slide.

He should have established chores in addition to keeping his room clean. And don't tie it to allowance, that is separate.

Explain that he has to pitch in, just because that's what families do.

In the end, mom, you will be MUCH better off if you are giving him responsibility, structure and guidelines.

Answer 13

homework, dinner, chores then video games. or if its no school chores first. keep a routine, let him know you and your ex still love him and it is a big change for everyone, BUT that doesnt mean he can get away with being lazy. if you dont step up now he will run all over you. you can let him know you need his help being its just you know. i know where you are coming from wanting to be nice, but you can be nice but firm  

Answer 14

Lisa! A little tough love would not hurt. You can tell him that he has to wait untill after he helps you out. If you don't do it now it will not get any better as time goes on. You need to make it a rule!

JIm B.

Answer 15

Why should he help you around the house?  Do you need a maid?  Hire a maid service.  If you simply want him off the video games unplug the system.  If he gets "depressed" too bad.   By not setting limits YOU are enabling his behavior.

Answer 16

Maybe i've been blessed with an angel because i don't believe in tough love at all?! My boy is 10 and he's wonderful. He is a game addict too! internet, xbox, ps2, etc. I've never delegated him any chores (except for one, taking the rubbish out lol) and over the last 2 years he just helps me out himself! he'll vacuum one room when i do the house, he'll wash the mugs when i do the dishes and he actually enjoys dusting! he even brings me a cup of tea in bed! Divorce is terrible but it's possible it will strengthen the bond between you and your son. My son lost his dad when he was just a baby, a terrible terrible thing to happen but my son and i are so close, it's just him and me and we know it and we love making each other happy.  

Answer 17

I believe that the best way to get a child's attention is to reward him for doing good, and punish him for doing bad.  I know that you and him have been through something rough, but your parenting skills shouldn't be affected by it.  Try giving him an allowence for doing a selected list of chours.  Make a check list for him to check as he completes them.  If he fails to keep it up, than make it a rule that the chours must be done by a certain time, or no video games.  If you keep up a strong routine both rewarding and punishing, than your child won't get depressed, but rather cheer up and help out.  Make sure you don't let him slack off.  One more thing to do is make sure your giving him a lot of special attention.  Perhaps cuddling with him at night and playing games with him.  Those will both cheer him up.  Good luck and I hope I helped.