How can i get out of being a bridesmaid?

Question

my friend asked me to be a bridesmaid, and i accepted. She is one of those friends who doesn't really have girl friends, and is just using several girls to be in her wedding...after that, we probably will never hear from her again, because from past experiences, she just calls when she needs a favor. I said i would be in her wedding just to be nice and because i felt sorry for her. Now i found out that my cousin (who is like a sister to me) is having an engagement party the same day and time as my friend's wedding. I would much rather attend my cousin's engagement party, because she is family. ...But it is one week before my friend's wedding. How can I back out from being a bridesmaid, especially since my cousin is a true friend and sister who will be around for life, not just there for when she needs a favor?

Answer 1

Please don't do that to your friend. You are going to put her under more stress- which she doesn't need. Send your cousin a nice gift and a nice card explains that you would love to be there, but you already committed to something else.

Answer 2

Sorry, but I can't condone skipping out on the wedding at this point!  She has probably already done the walking and standing arrangements.  She may also have done a seating chart that includes you.  

But, most of all, you made a commitment!  End of story!

Chalk this up to experience and a good deed on your part!

Answer 3

The only way to get out of it at the last min is to fake a health problem and tell her that you aren't sure if you can make it now or not. She will be understanding about the health issue and move ahead with or without you.

Now, if you don't care about doing it classy or keeping this girl's friendship....just do something to betray her friendship (kiss her fiance or something...try to make a pass at him..whatever). It will get you labled a w***e by her and her family but if you could care less about her and her friendship...then go for it. It's up to you. You can do the semi-honorable thing and fake an illness, or you can be labled a w***e when you make a move on her fiance (or better yet...make a move on her).

I hope this helps...because it's the only way with only a week to go that I can see you getting out of being a bridesmaid at this point. You can honor your commitment to a friend (or semi-friend), or you can do as I suggested and go to your cousin's engagement party instead.  

Answer 4

The right answer is... you don't.  If you had issues with this girl from the beginning, that was your time to back out.  Not now.  Everything you wrote tried to justify backing out and going to an engagement party instead.  You know the right answer to this.  It's not as if you're missing your cousin's wedding for this.  Honor your commitment, and tough it out.

Answer 5

One week is too soon to back out.  If it was a few months than they would have time to make different arrangements, but it will cause so much stress and problems for you to back out.

It's unfortunate that the two events coincide, but you need to stick to your word, even if you regret it.

Answer 6

I told you this yesterday, go to the wedding. If you back out now, you will loose this girl as a friend for sure and any other friends in the wedding...

Answer 7

1 week?  Sorry, but you are committed.  There is no way to honourably back out.  

Answer 8

Just stop answering her phone calls.

Answer 9

It would be TERRIBLY rude to back out one week before the wedding. It is only an engagement party. Its not a big deal if you miss it. If you really must, leave the wedding on the early side and meet up with everyone at the engagement party

Answer 10

If the wedding is one week away I don't think that there is anything that you can do. You could speak with the bride about maybe leaving the reception a little early because your cousin is having an engagement party - but you cannot back out completely.

I wish I had a better answer for you, but unfortunately it looks like you are commited. It would be wrong at this point to back out.