How can i get someone to stop drinking?

Question

How do I get a close family member to stop drinking. i found out this week that he knows he drinks too much...he almost looked proud. it sickens me thinking of all the times he's drank and how much. he does it so easily. i was pissed at him for it...i made sure he knew. he seemed a little like disappointed. but he still went and drank more! he doesnt walk around the house with beer in his hand...but he partys a lot and thats probably worse. i want him to stop...my grandpa was an alchoholic. and he's got a good life...i don't want him throwing it away because he can't control himself while he can. how do i tell him. and even get him to stop...at least cut down!? he already knows im upset about his drinking...but he really will quickly lose it all if he keeps this up.

Answer 1

Nothing you can do will change someone else's behaviour.  Sorry, not what you wanted to hear, but that is the truth.  He needs to want to stop for himself.

You can be supportive if he tries to stop.  Also, make sure you do nothing to enable his drinking: don't lend him money to buy booze, don't clean up his vomit, don't lend him money to pay debts, buy food, pay rent etc.  Do not "fix" any mistakes he makes due to drinking.

You can help yourself understand him and what you can do  by attending Al Anon sessions.  It is a support group for friends and family of alcoholics.

Answer 2

The person has to do it by him/herself. It is a will power.  

Answer 3

All you can do is tell him how concerned you are. No one can force him to stop drinking or cut back, only he can do that.

Check your phone book for Al anon. Check them out.  

Answer 4

First off its really up 2 them

u cant force them

Let him know his options

he can keep drinking and die

or he can stop and enjoy his life with the people that matter

Death is not just something the 1 person faces. Everyone around them suffer. ask him if he wants to put the family through that

keep trying 2 get through 2 him

he could decide to change

Answer 5

you can't really force anyone to your opinion, you can only give it and hope it has merit.

All you can do is make your feelings known and if it is getting you down, cut yourself off from that person until they come to you for help.

Answer 6

replace all his liquor with soap.

if that doesnt work, try an intervention

Answer 7

ive had the same problem with a friend of mine... with stubborn people you cant do much, if you care about them enough, follow him to a party and call the cops if he is under 21..... otherwise they just wont take it seriously. you could tape him too and show him how stupid he looks when he is drunk though. that might make him think twice

Answer 8

I lived with an alcoholic and honestly I tried everything. The only way he finally quit was because he wanted to. He actually wanted to live better and do better and so he decided to quit. So you can't make him quit but you can keep encouraging him and giving him good reasons to quit. Offer to go to AA meetings with him.

Answer 9

I'm sorry to say this, but unless this person wants to be helped, there really isn't anything you can do.

I have two alcoholic memebers in my family, one of them was at death's door, she needs a liver transplant, but she still drinks. We have tried interventions, rehab...but some people are too far in to be helped.

I wish you nothing but luck!

Answer 10

they have to want to stop or it will not stick, trust me on this one, been there with an ex and after 18 years of knowing him, he still drinks heavily and will bot stop. You cannot make someone do something if they do not want to, he has to want to stop drinking, you can be there as a friend and remind them of the dangers to their bodies over time of drinking, and the dangers to themselves and others.Good luck, be a friend!

Answer 11

You can't. That person has to want to themselves. You can't make anyone do anything they aren't willing to do. All you can do is tell them the right thing. they have the option of choosing the right or wrong path.

Answer 12

You can't!  Go to Al Anon and learn about it.

Answer 13

Sadly, you can't. They have to want to stop drinking. You could tell him how it hurts you, and how you feel about it, but you can't force him to stop.

Answer 14

You can have an intervention.

An intervention is an attempt to compel a subject to "get help" for an addiction or other problem.

You can also try to send him to a rehab center.

But I suggest you have an intervention first, then send him to a rehab center.

There is a TV show called Intervention on A&E, the link is below.

http://www.aetv.com/intervention/

Do your research, and get help for this fellow.

I hope I have helped in any way.

Good luck and all.

-Bows. [:

Answer 15

Is it affecting his life negatively (lost his job, friends, family or dropped out of school etc.)? How often is he drinking? How much when he drinks? Has he done anything harmful to himself or others while drunk?

You need to give more details, it may not even be something you need to interfere with. You could be a straight edge who is overreacting.

Answer 16

You can't

you can't MAKE anyone do anything they don't want to

He will only stop when HE finally feels the need to stop..til then, the most you can to is go to Alanon Anonymous and learn how to cope and learn how NOT to become an enabler...

sigh...........good luck!

Answer 17

You may need to do an intervention. (Much like the show). Some people cannot help themselves. He will HATE it but appreciate it in the end....someday. Make sure the case is severe enough to warrant an intervention though before you go that far. Good luck to him and you as well. Sounds like you care about this person.

Answer 18

You cant "GET" him to quite but you can find help for him and locate places in the area that can help (most churches) offer AA programs, but this is NOT your choice but theirs.Sorry

Answer 19

You can't, alcoholism is an illness. Any doc will tell you, it is their decision, you cant make them stop until they are ready themselves. You could do an intervention with his famil and close friends.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interventio...

Answer 20

The alcoholic has to make the choice to stop for himself.

You could follow him around making sure he doesn't crash his car,etc.  That is all that you can do for him.

Answer 21

www.interventiontv.com

Answer 22

It's great you care about your family member so much, but the bitter truth is, you can't get someone else to stop drinking (or stop smoking, or lose weight, or...).

Recommended reading: "Codependent No More" and "Beyond Codependency" by Melody Beatty.

You may also want to try Al-Anon, which is a support group for those who care about those who drink too much.

Best wishes.

Answer 23

tell him to stop drinkin or else ur gonna break up with him its juz that easy

Answer 24

Basically you just sit down and tell him that your worried about his drinking... but in the end its something that he has to come to terms with not you. Its not your life and your not in charge of what he does. I know that when i had serious problems drinking several people told me and i kept on going, i still do rink and party alot, every week in fact, but i control how much i drink cause i realized what i was doing...

Good luck, but don't push him to much.  

Answer 25

i know what you mean....i have the same situation with my wife.  i am sorry to say this but you are just going to have to wait.  wait till they hit rock bottom.  just make sure not to help out or contribute to his drinking. don't give money or babysit his kids so he can go out.  (if he has any). if you have any get together keep make a it not drinking party.  i feel for you.  good luck