My friend is 14 yrs old and has an abusive father. Her parents have been maried for 18 yrs but her mum doesnt want to let him go coz she loves him. Wen she came to australia 3 yrs ago she started sticking up for herself and kinda messed up at school. Her dad smokes dope and gets stonned sometimes and bcomes very aggressive and violent and her parents get into fights so she sticks up for her mum coz her mum isnt allowed to go out alone, be with friends and do like normal stuff so then since the daughter (my friend) jumps in the fight the fight gets more intense and he hits her, kicking, punching, slapping, throwing things at her and breaking personal things etc.. One day she had enough of the fights and the hitting so she went to walk out and he grabbed her by the hair and dragged her bak inside and threw her on the dinner table where she fell. Her mum cnt do anything about it because the dad has always been so controlling and shes used to it but he just recently started taking it out on my friend (his daughter) because shes not doing well enough at school and apparently her mum has a twin sister and the twin is a druggie and the dad constantly tells my friend dat she will end up like the twin, doing drugs and things like that. The dad has two other kids son 16 and daughter 12 both kids look like the dad but he just hates my friend the 14yr which looks like the mum. He also puts her down verbally, tells her that shes not good enough, that she should go die, dat he doesnt know how her mum can put up with her etc. and after shes been told that horrible stuff so many times she believes it and she is so messed up that she once tried killing herself and she sometimes cuts her wrists because of how he makes her feel. We are best friends and shes told me everything and she doesnt always get bruises but ive seen the bruises and the cuts and I have told her i want to adopt her, and she wants to live with me and shes also agreed that if i adopt her she will go councelling for the whole trauma shes been through as long as im with her. My mum has agreed and she would be more than happy to adopt her too, but my friend doesnt want to tell a councellor because shes scared wats going to happen. She wants to leave that place coz of wat shes been through and she believes that if she tells someone and they kick the dad out instead of her leaving like she wants to then the whole family will blame it on her. Her father wont let her out, has banned her from hanging with certain people at school (including me so i cant go over anymore and we have to secretly see each other between classes coz her brother and sister will dob on her), he wont let her on the computer,no sleep overs, not even allowed to see family members, broke her phone and shes not allowed on the phone to anyone, and wen he hits her after a few days everything calms down and he pretends nothing happened but wen the next fight comes he brings up everything from the previous ones. When she tells him that he hits her and he should stop that, he says that he did it for a reason and she deserved it. I've met the father and he seems very scary but he pretends they are all a happy family but ive been passed her house and i hear screaming and yelling but theres nothing i could do. Please answer my following questions: What should she do? Do yu know if the adoption would go through? i mean is there a chance that she might have to stay there? coz im sure it will convince her to tell some1 about it if she knew dat she would get out of there. How long will it take? Do her parents have to agree with it? (because her mum says if she stops being a smartass and stops arguing bak everything would be okay) Does she have to go to a foster home? Can she leave the home straight away after she tells the councellor? What will happen if the dad denys it? What will happen through the whole process and how long do yu think will it take? Please help me i dont want anything to happen to her and i dont want her to do anything stupid. What do i do?
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