How can i help my step-son please help!?

Question

My husband has a son from a previous relationship, and the 7 year old~josh has just moved in with us permently because of issues with his mother.He has recently become very jealous of his step sister~summer who is 3 years old, I am pregnant with twins and i feel that he will become jealous of them aswel. i want him to feel like he is a part of this family as much as possible, but Josh just wont interact with our family, and stays in his room all the time. i know he has been through alot but he moved in with us 2 months ago and we used to have a good relationship beforehand.

how can i make interact more with us and stop being jealous of summer??

Answer 1

First, have his father take him for Josh time, once a week

Then you take him for Josh time

He does not trust you want him there

If he believes he is wanted, his attitude will chance

He may always be jealous of Summer, or he can get over it

If that does not work, take him to family counseling.  Yes you, his father and Summer, even thought she will not get it

Answer 2

the kids normal.  he'll need lotsa reassurances and counseling.

Answer 3

It can be hard because he feels so left out im sure.  Try spending time with just him.  Let him know how excited you are to have him living with you.  Get him involved with the new babies such as the ultra sound let him go or have him pick out  a few outfits or something like that.   Just make him feel as important as you can.  

Good luck

Answer 4

It has only been two months...You have to give this poor child time to get used to going from one home to another and give him time to adjust.  He is a child, not a mineature adult and it could take some time for him to adapt to "competing" with other children in the home.  By the way, there will always bee a little "jealousy" in all of the kids, it is called sibling rivalry and happens in even the closest of families.

Answer 5

ask him if he wants you to replace his mum, or be a freind, and try to fit in where he wants.

try to ask him what you should do as a family, does he want to play footie, or ride bikes or something?

try not to give him many things to do in his room, make it a good place for sleeping, but put toys in a family area.

tell him he is loved and wanted. tell him he can speak with his mum if he wants.

be patient with him. be consistently nice to him. prove you love him.

Answer 6

try talking to him

Answer 7

He will need some time to mourn the loss of his mother as his main caregiver.  Even if she wasn't a good mother, it is still a very serious blow to anyone to lose their mother.  He may well be mourning this and is, perhaps, secretly hoping this will be temporary. (Even though your home may be a significant improvement over his home with his mother.) I think the suggestion of Dad and you both making sure you have some one on one time with Josh each week, even just kicking the ball around in the back yard should be good.  He may be jealous of Summer because he is realizing that she has not, and will likely never, experience all the trauma which he has.  He has a lot to be angry about so expect a lot of patience to heal it.  

Some advice from a counsellor and, perhaps, counselling for you all may be necessary.  I would get advice from the counsellor as a couple first (you and hubbie) and then involve Josh if the counsellor feels it would be advisable.

Good luck to you all.  Josh will need lots of patience.  Even though this situation is not of your making, neither is it of his.

Answer 8

Just make sure you don't do anything with Summer that Josh doesn't get to do, or if you do something (maybe a girly activity), do something josh would enjoy after that.  Make a rule that he cannot stay in his room ALL the time, although I think he probably does need a little time to himself.  Tell him all the time how glad you are he is with you guys and that he will love it there.  Also, maybe you can do something special with him to "celebrate" him coming to live with you guys.  Maybe take him to a cool event or just talk to him and find out what he is interested in and surprise him by taking him to something he would like.  Good luck I'm sure all he needs is time :)