How can i keep from being jealous of my pregnant s-i-l?

Question

My sister in law just found out she's pregnant and i am happy for her. They just started trying and it's a huge blessing. it seems like she's living the life i always dreamed of, though. Her husband is a chiropractor and she will quit working at 24. i doubt i'll be able to do that and of course my biological clock is ticking. She is 2 years older than me, but i would like a baby right now. My husband and i are going to wait a few years (which i do want to do), but it seems like i can't help being a little jealous of her (as if i didn't hear enough before about how wonderful she is, now i can't even imagine!) What do i do to control these feelings?

Answer 1

I think your feelings are natural, and it's a good thing that you realize you have them. Your jealousy sounds tho as if it goes further than just the fact that she's pregnant.

There's nothing wrong with having a dream, nothing wrong with knowing you didn't get what you dreamed of, but you almost make it sound as if you feel she's stolen *your dream*. You married who you love, and the two of you know that realistically you should wait to have children.

If you two are not close, maybe now's the time to try and get to know her a little better. Share in the pregnancy happiness with her, and how do you know that she plans to stop working? Even if she does stop, no need to feel jealous of that. After all, when you finally have a child your kids will be cousins and most likely play together. I can tell you now, you'll never get over that envious feeling if you sit back and let it take up all the thought space in your brain. Invite her out some where, connect with her. Maybe you'll find a person who you like and who might admire you in return for making the effort to get to know her better. It's worth a shot.

Answer 2

First of all, you should never go through life comparing yourself to anyone. It just brings you grief! You don't know what the other person is going through anyways. She may seem to have the perfect life to everyone, but that may not be the reality of it. I too have been jealous of my s-i-l after she quickly got pregnant while I struggled to conceive. However, what I saw on the outside with her easy conception stacking another blessing on her already overflowing plate wasn't actuality. She had her own demons to fight.  Maybe you should try to remember that and remember someone else thinks you have a perfect life and are the most wonderful person in the world (ie your hubby).

P.S.  Are all these wonderful things being said coming from her mom? If so, try to remember no one is as glorious as their mother makes them out to be. Hope this helps!

Answer 3

I know exactly how you feel, I am in a very similar situation to you. My boyfriends twin sister has married a man with lots of money, and found out she was pregnant on their first anniversary, she too will never work again, it's so perfect it's hard not to be jealous. I can feel my biological clock ticking too (I'm 25), but financially we are not in a position to have a child yet. A couple more years and we'll be trying too.

My mum advises me not to be jealous, as although they seem to  have a perfect life, you don't know what heartache could lie in store for them later on, no amount of money can make people immune to tragedy so you should never envy anyone, you don't know what their lives are really like.

If you compare yourself to others you will always feel unhappy. What's right for you is not necessarilly right for someone else so just be patient and let things happen naturally. Jealousy can end up turning you into a very bitter person.

Just think of all the fun you and your hubby can have now while you're young and child-free, they will both be feeling pretty jealous of you and your freedom once the baby comes along.

Answer 4

why you must be jealous?try to chat with your husband if you wanna be pregnant like her..!just say congratulations to her and try to not jealous !!chat with your husband about this is THE BEST WAY i think.chat with people is not for sure i think..this is a secret maybe for you..!this your family secret too maybe! just chat to your husband !!okay?i hope you always happy !!  

Answer 5

i can kinda relate to your feelings. it is hard when you get the feeling that you are always coming in second.   try to be happy for her i know it is easier said than done.but just think of all the hand-me-downs you may be next in line to get when you and your husband have a baby. good luck to you.

Answer 6

You stop being immature and stop acting like a child.  

Answer 7

Just tell yourself that the good thing to do is wait. You'll still have a baby. Just not a s soon as her.

Answer 8

Dont get ahead of yourself.  Be thankful that you can get pregnant.  when my dad went to jail I started having pains from stress next thing you know Im pregnant, the next day i get rushed to the hospital and get aborted due to it being ectopic.  I cried for weeks and didnt even leave my house.  3 months ago I started having pains again this time the doc said it was a cyst, I went in to surgery and what do you know I had the same thing another ectopic pregnancy. So I have no tubes Thank god I can still have invitro.  Point being when it is time, you will get pregnant.  It hurts me to see all my friends having kids one after the other and here I am waiting, but in all, I know I will have kids when Im ready and I am fine with it.  I get to keep my youth for now.